Fucked Over by Schmoe Nation

[Bulklover]

I'm trying hard not to hate on Schmoe Nation, but WTmuthaF??  Seems virtually every woman I want to see requires a deposit.  I totally understand their need for this; Schmoe Nation is, and has been for a while, notoriously unreliable.  But Fuck!!  It used to be, up until at least ten years ago, you could book a session, go, enjoy yourself, and count your blessings you live in an age full of muscular women.  But NOW, any man with any sort of domestic obligations must send a a deposit . . . which leads to the complication of leaving a digital trail to the activity in questions.

I know, I know, I'm a dick for sessioning when I'm married.  But if, after 23 years of marriage, the fires don't burn quite as hot at home, and if, after several months of connubial disinterest, I don't "get some," I'm going to be climbing the nearest tower with a 'scope . . . and that's only partial hyperbole. 

So now, as if sessioning wasn't complicated enough, all the dickheads who've booked and then either called at the last second to cancel or simply not shown up, have fucked the rest of us and now we have to deal with deposits.  Tazzie never asked for a deposit.  Gabrielle Hames never did.  Kathy Connors didn't.  Neither did Debra D'Andrea, Kasie Cavanaugh, Amber DeLuca, Saskia Salemink, Sheila Bleck, Kris Clarke, Lynn McCrossin, Jennifer Scarpetta,
Maria Calo, Fabi Antoine, Yvette Bova, Michelle Ivers, Vilma Caez, Collette Guimond, Utah Sweet, Gayle Moher, Joanna Thomas, Monica Martin, Lora Ottenad, Irene Andersen, Jana Linke-Sippl, Nicole Pfutzenreuter, Rhonda Lee Quaresma, Lauren Powers, or Andrea Giacomi.

And now, most of them are retired . . . and the new wave, well, they refuse to get burned.  Don't blame them one bit, but fuck. 

[Bulklover]

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[Bulklover]

Sorry if I sound like "Get off my lawn guy."  LOL!  I guess if this is my biggest problem, I'm in pretty good shape overall. 

[boyofwinter]

I've been able to get around this by using references a few times, but that doesn't do much for someone who's new or is getting back in the game after a long time. Good old Western Union takes cash but requires the use of real names obviously. One girl wasn't swayed by references but she did accept an id + face pic. There might be ways of explaining away an extra amazon purchase (done with an alternate account).

[FBBMW]

The new wave of SG's has to deal with the new wave of less reliable Schmoes.     
The seasoned Schmoes now have to pass reference checks and deposits, plus usually learn a new $$ app.

Maybe those Hall Of Fame SG's that Bulklover listed are so good that guys would not dare to cancel and miss them.

[busthemus2003]

I'm trying hard not to hate on Schmoe Nation, but WTmuthaF??  Seems virtually every woman I want to see requires a deposit.  I totally understand their need for this; Schmoe Nation is, and has been for a while, notoriously unreliable.  But Fuck!!  It used to be, up until at least ten years ago, you could book a session, go, enjoy yourself, and count your blessings you live in an age full of muscular women.  But NOW, any man with any sort of domestic obligations must send a a deposit . . . which leads to the complication of leaving a digital trail to the activity in questions.

I know, I know, I'm a dick for sessioning when I'm married.  But if, after 23 years of marriage, the fires don't burn quite as hot at home, and if, after several months of connubial disinterest, I don't "get some," I'm going to be climbing the nearest tower with a 'scope . . . and that's only partial hyperbole. 

So now, as if sessioning wasn't complicated enough, all the dickheads who've booked and then either called at the last second to cancel or simply not shown up, have fucked the rest of us and now we have to deal with deposits.  Tazzie never asked for a deposit.  Gabrielle Hames never did.  Kathy Connors didn't.  Neither did Debra D'Andrea, Kasie Cavanaugh, Amber DeLuca, Saskia Salemink, Sheila Bleck, Kris Clarke, Lynn McCrossin, Jennifer Scarpetta,
Maria Calo, Fabi Antoine, Yvette Bova, Michelle Ivers, Vilma Caez, Collette Guimond, Utah Sweet, Gayle Moher, Joanna Thomas, Monica Martin, Lora Ottenad, Irene Andersen, Jana Linke-Sippl, Nicole Pfutzenreuter, Rhonda Lee Quaresma, Lauren Powers, or Andrea Giacomi.

And now, most of them are retired . . . and the new wave, well, they refuse to get burned.  Don't blame them one bit, but fuck. 

Vilma Caez sessioned? What type of session was that
. Agree with you re the deposits...makes life difficult alright.

[abracadabra]

You're cheating on your wife. You can justify it all you like, as many here do, but this doesn't have a pretty ending.

You can blame other session guys for no-showing, but it's not their fault that the cost of everything has gone up, especially the last couple years. I hear hotels are up 39% this year. Taxi rides from the airport alone can be quite expensive. You should blame corporations, or the system at large, for squeezing the middle class and making everything less attainable. I haven't flown lately, but I assume flying will get much more expensive if it hasn't already. After the last crisis, we got our beloved baggage fees. (That's also when airbnb started up and contributed to making housing more expensive, one factor making it harder for session girls and session guys.) My city gets very few visitors because 99% of the guys are like you and don't want to send deposits. I'm not blaming you, I understand why, but it makes it harder for them to come out, and usually when they do schedule, they end up canceling their trip due to this, which makes it harder for girls to break into the scene, etc. I'm not exaggerating when I say I was the only person in one of the largest American metros to send a deposit for a popular session girl. So she canceled and refunded me, and I will probably never meet her unless I fly out to her or fly her out. If they do come out, usually it's because one guy sponsored their whole trip. So you can blame no-shows for making them require deposits all you want, and I can blame guys who refuse to send deposits for no one visiting my city.

Even without deposits, if your wife is truly a micromanager, she can look at your ATM withdrawals and wonder why you're taking out a random $400, unless you're taking out the normal amount and stockpiling $20 at a time into your session envelope. If you're trapped in that kind of marriage and truly miserable, better to end it sooner and start the next chapter. You're solving the wrong problem by jumping through hoops to spend your own money. Life is too short to be forbidden from spending your own money on the things you enjoy, at least assuming you're also providing for your family if you have one (even if it's about the cheating and not so much the money). It's not a position I envy.

Practically speaking, three quarters of my sessions last year were deposit-free because I was meeting a local girl (either in my city or I drove to her city). This girl in particular says on her page she requires 50% deposit for all sessions, but she never asks for one from me. So relationships/trust count for something if you're doing repeat sessions. Some locals will still insist on a deposit, but not all. But if I had someone combing through my bank statements, they still would have seen hotel charges, patterns of ATM withdrawals, and a gas charge maybe every 2 months normally, but twice in a weekend when I was doing a session in a different city. It really wouldn't be too hard to figure out that I was doing something. I do agree dealing with all the new money apps for sending deposits being a little annoying.

[robo]

Cash app, Venmo, etc weren't around in the 90s so deposits would have required more effort. They're around now and so they're easier. Case closed.

[abracadabra]

It's certainly true that Paypal was around 5+ years ago, and more and more girls are requiring deposits these days than in ~2015, and more and more are requiring 50% instead of just $50 or $100. Some even ask for the entire session paid upfront for shorter sessions or first meetings. There are other economic factors at play, but again, not much you can do. You can try the reference alternative, but your options will be limited. Though for the OP, I think $50 deposit has basically the same drawbacks as a $250 deposit.

[bigfan2710]

I think deposits are fair enough.  Times have moved on and women are free to chose their own commercial terms.

[artax]

I didn't know Vilma sessioned but she danced for several years at least 2 Philadelphia strip clubs- I got several lap dances from her over the years- unfortunately don't see many fit girls at strip clubs these days

[MixedFighter99]

I think deposits are fair enough.  Times have moved on and women are free to chose their own commercial terms.

I agree though I'm always a bit nervous about the 50% deposit to a sessionate I never meant before. I try to do has much research as possible and be very selective of who I meet. But I still get a little anxious  after sending the deposit to a new sessionate for me. The ones I am doing repeat business with I don't have a problem with at all. Makes it easier come session day to not be carrying in a ton of cash which I never like. And for ones that I have a long standing business relationship, I will just send the remainder of the payment early unless they ask me not to. A few like the cash handy but others don't mind if I pay it all upfront so I can build up more points on my credit card. 

[Bulklover]

You're cheating on your wife. You can justify it all you like, as many here do, but this doesn't have a pretty ending.

You can blame other session guys for no-showing, but it's not their fault that the cost of everything has gone up, especially the last couple years. I hear hotels are up 39% this year. Taxi rides from the airport alone can be quite expensive. You should blame corporations, or the system at large, for squeezing the middle class and making everything less attainable. I haven't flown lately, but I assume flying will get much more expensive if it hasn't already. After the last crisis, we got our beloved baggage fees. (That's also when airbnb started up and contributed to making housing more expensive, one factor making it harder for session girls and session guys.) My city gets very few visitors because 99% of the guys are like you and don't want to send deposits. I'm not blaming you, I understand why, but it makes it harder for them to come out, and usually when they do schedule, they end up canceling their trip due to this, which makes it harder for girls to break into the scene, etc. I'm not exaggerating when I say I was the only person in one of the largest American metros to send a deposit for a popular session girl. So she canceled and refunded me, and I will probably never meet her unless I fly out to her or fly her out. If they do come out, usually it's because one guy sponsored their whole trip. So you can blame no-shows for making them require deposits all you want, and I can blame guys who refuse to send deposits for no one visiting my city.

Even without deposits, if your wife is truly a micromanager, she can look at your ATM withdrawals and wonder why you're taking out a random $400, unless you're taking out the normal amount and stockpiling $20 at a time into your session envelope. If you're trapped in that kind of marriage and truly miserable, better to end it sooner and start the next chapter. You're solving the wrong problem by jumping through hoops to spend your own money. Life is too short to be forbidden from spending your own money on the things you enjoy, at least assuming you're also providing for your family if you have one (even if it's about the cheating and not so much the money). It's not a position I envy.

Practically speaking, three quarters of my sessions last year were deposit-free because I was meeting a local girl (either in my city or I drove to her city). This girl in particular says on her page she requires 50% deposit for all sessions, but she never asks for one from me. So relationships/trust count for something if you're doing repeat sessions. Some locals will still insist on a deposit, but not all. But if I had someone combing through my bank statements, they still would have seen hotel charges, patterns of ATM withdrawals, and a gas charge maybe every 2 months normally, but twice in a weekend when I was doing a session in a different city. It really wouldn't be too hard to figure out that I was doing something. I do agree dealing with all the new money apps for sending deposits being a little annoying.

Abracadabra, you hit the hammer on the sore thumb, in every respect, spot-on.  And I understand why, of necessity, the women are demanding deposits; I just wish circumstances hadn't compelled them to do so.  I also don't have a problem with prices going up; the market economy bears what it will, and I'm cool with that.  Regarding marriage, not miserable . . . exactly . . . just lacking in certain important areas, but you're right, it's certain to end badly unless I put an end to it.  And in virtually every important way that matters, Mrs. Bulklover is aces . . . which makes my conduct even more headscratching, right?

But the most difficult part of sessioning?  It's fucking FUN!!  Not a necessity, but like riding the world's biggest roller coaster, a wild, energizing thrill . . . but as you rightly point out, one from which I should probably abstain from here on.  I've had my laughs over a twenty year period and should be satisfied with that and look back on those days fondly.  Unfortunately, I'm a greedy prick.  LOL!  But maybe common sense, an uncommon virtue, will win out.

Oh, and regarding Vilma Caez.  I saw her, what, fifteen years ago I guess.  She wasn't into wrestling, but disrobed me and proceeded to give me a mindbending massage w/oil.  Only saw her once as she retired shortly thereafter (Call me the "Rally Killer." lol!) and almost missed her the first time when she called during my initial drive to LA to tell me she had to cancel; managed to see her the next day.  Would have paid double to have seen her one more time.

[abracadabra]

Yep, at an individual level, increasing prices (not just sessions, also hotels etc.) are fine, but at a systemic level, it leads to things like women becoming more likely to require deposits because lots of people can't afford higher prices or are time-wasters or whatever. (Just like I never use my phone while driving, but my insurance rates are still higher because the people around me do. The system around us still impacts us individually.) Can't really give useful advice on the marriage part, depends on how much you prioritize what. I have seen guys get divorced in their 50s and 60s, even remarry, and become much happier, even with the costs of divorce, but that doesn't mean it's the right decision for everyone.

[Polite Society]

 Once paid for a hotel for a six-hour layover in Philadelphia just to see Vilma. She was fantastic. Another of the top notch options that has never been replaced by what has followed.

[Bulklover]

Once paid for a hotel for a six-hour layover in Philadelphia just to see Vilma. She was fantastic. Another of the top notch options that has never been replaced by what has followed.

Scott! You're alive!  Hope all's well.  A world w/o Vilma is a lesser and sadder place.