Which should I work on for release?

[potatocarrot]

Ok guys, long time lurker here. I really enjoy reading the works of a lot of people on here. I have my own tastes and favourite's but I like reading a wide range of topics/ideas. Just for interest my favourite is a long slow burn natural growth through hard work and effort. So first of all thank you to all the great effort and writing from you all.

Now on to what I am looking for. I have been writing my own stories for years now but they have all been written in a way I understand and can build a picture in my head and what I like, not really for public release. Most are pretty useless and have a very basic framework but there are a couple I kind of got into and did quite a bit of work. I would like to share these with you guys now. However like I say they are written for me, more me pouring my ideas and thoughts out. I have gone back and tried to expand and make it more a proper piece of writing but I have gone too far that there is a lot of work involved  in going back and inserting quotation marks (apparently I was never a fan of them and never put any in when I wrote things down), correcting spelling and grammar and sometimes even perspective or continuity. I even have some notes in there to expand an area etc. So what I am looking for is a bit of pressure from you guys to actually pull my finger out and do the damned work as I am struggling for motivation to do it as I can read and understand it but couldn't post it in its current state.

There is a choice of 2 that I would say are long and detailed enough to work on and release so please let me know which you think you would like to read most and I will go through and get working on it.

Raquel the Rock - A guy wins a competition to go on a holiday coach trip. Turns out there is quite a buff girl on the trip as well only she is a stuck up snooty bitch. Will he be able to get her attention? Will she change her ways? What kind of fun will they have on the trip?

Russian Experiment -  A military pilot assigned on a Russian exchange. Accidentally finds a secret research lab. What does he find, a huge experimental super soldier that makes the hulk look puny. They slowly builds a bond and a friendship with her that blossoms into more with some fun along the way.

I know I am an unknown quantity as this would be my first release but I want to give back to the community and try and be more of an active member.

Thanks guys,

PC

[potatocarrot]

A short except from Raquel the Rock:

She just goes quiet and looks down at her feet. I give her a while to pause, think,  compose herself. But when she doesn't and just stays silent I ask, because what? She tells me it doesn't matter, it will just scare me away too like all the others, pretend she said nothing. I try to lighten the mood joking with her along the lines of me scared of you, ha, you don't scare me little one! She looks at me sideways.

'You would be if you knew.'

'Try me, I think I've shown I can be pretty understanding. And tolerant!'

'Oy, watch it!' she says playfully.

'So go on what is it?'

'Well, well, well, it's my body.' she says hesitantly, her voice trembling as she speaks showing a weakness I've never seen in her before. 'I didn't used to dress like this in these baggy clothes. I used to wear nicer things, tighter things but guys just kept staring at my chest. I got a lot of unwanted attention. They only wanted me because of my big chest, they were drooling over me but when I got close with a guy, when we fooled around and they tried to get my top off things changed, most were disgusted and just left, others are well, it's hard to explain...'

I try to calm her, reassure her 'Oh come on, what can be that bad, do you have a scar or something? You can tell me, I'm not like them.'

'No worse.'

'Some sort of skin disease?'

'No worse.'

'Oh come on, give me a break already just tell me.'

'Well it's strange because I'm proud of it and wouldn't change it for anyone but so far all I have found is people turned off by it, it's not only unconventional but I kinda take it to the extreme. I need to find someone that accepts me for it, but that's proving impossible.'

'That's good attitude to have and you shouldn't change for anyone, I'm sure you will find someone, it will just take time. But you still haven't told me what it is.'

'Well it's because, because... She sighs and looks down... Promise you won't be like the rest and run off and leave me?'

'Yes!' I say frustrated.

'It's because I'm muscular and strong. VERY muscular. VERY strong.' she says for emphasis as if to tell me not to question it.

'It can't be that bad. Jeese, you had me worried. Is that it?'

'Just wait,' she says. She raises her right arm, pauses half way up, looking down unable to look at me, she winces as she raises it all the way up out to her side and then bends at the elbow into a classic bicep flexing pose but with no effort behind it, her hand still open, sleeve still baggy. She lifts her head and attempts to look me in the eye but just cant bring her self to do it. She lets out a sigh and squeezes her fist and flexes her arm.

The second she makes the initial squeeze of her fist her arm jumps to life and  in the blink of an eye pulls the sleeve tight, very tight. Holy shit, that is one thick arm. She squeezes her fist harder, a large round bulge expanding upwards under the fabric, the underside of her arm still expanding and showing a nice curve. The sleeve is clearly struggling now as I can see the seam of the jumper distorting.

[potatocarrot]

Short excerpt from Russian Experriment.

One day after we have seen each other I get summoned by those that be. Apparently they are getting impatient again, too much talking and chatting not enough action. I tell them nothing has changed this is for me and her, not for them. They want something maybe they should try asking nicely. Clearly aggression and punishment don't work. Try being nice. They don't listen. Apparently they will do it their way. They have me escorted back to my room. Locked in under armed guard. Not allowed to leave. The next day she is sat on her haunches waiting for me to come in at my usual time. The door opens and the top ranking boss walks in and marches up to the bars staying behind the yellow line. He is flanked by 10 men on either side all heavily armoured and heavily armed. She doesn't move or flinch as he stands in front of her with his entourage. He tries to stand straight, look a little bigger and taller as he addresses her. He speaks Russian to her. Calls her "subject" like they always have to dehumanise her, make her think she is nothing, to break her down. No pleasantries, he tells her she is to go and lift one of the boulders 10 times. She sneers and just sits down. He then makes a threat against her, she looks bored and stands to turn away and walk off, heard it all before, nothing new. She takes a few steps and he then threatens me, something along the lines of 'can't hurt you so can hurt him instead, never see him again.' She clenches her fists, and sees red, storms over to one of the boulders, hefts it up and launches it full pelt at the bars where the boss is stood. It hurtles through the air straight at him. He drops to the ground flat, the other men all jump back out of the way. The boulder slams into the bars, shatters, shards falling to the ground but a large chunk getting wedged between the bars.

[Super_squirrel]

Raquel the Rock 

[jdm022]

Raquel !

 

[Lupus753]

I vote for Russian Experiment.

[potatocarrot]

Ok, so, Russian Experiment won. Work has commenced. I will be back shortly with a new thread dedicated to the story. Please bare with me.