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My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale - Misfit Layla Mikayla [Tess Stump

Started by Tmark, May 20, 2019, 03:44:44 AM

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Tmark

Fair enough.  It's something that makes absolutely no sense to me.  So I can appreciate that it will sound as it does to outside observers.  Really I just wanted to share my experience so others could make an informed choice before entering into such a venture, especially if they are thinking it can't happen to them. 
"Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you've made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success."

Tmark

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"Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you've made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success."

Tmark

Ok, I think I get it.  And from your earlier responses I can tell that you see things a bit black and white (which is ok too, as it's incredibly difficult to truly explain :)).

So here's the thing: to begin with, it was a straightforward sponsorship.  So yes, you expect to get some credit, but in that case simply an acknowledgment of the small part you are playing.  But later on, when she opened up and shared some personal (and quite disturbing) things with me to secure additional funds, it was much more about taking on a greater sense of responsibility.   About truly helping someone with a much greater need.  To have realized that I had chosen to make this deep emotional and financial commitment, only to realize too late that it was all based on a complete lie, was disastrous.  And of course it destroyed the original purpose of the sponsorship and turned into a dangerous threat against me.

There is also, obviously, the wounded pride associated with having made such an error of judgment of committing to such a person in this way.
"Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you've made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success."

streetcleanr

I have never sponsored anything, but I played for sponsored baseball team (shoulda been a pro!) the sponsors did it so the business was out there...advertising...bucks....that is why they did it.

Would someone tell me the end result of sponsoring anyone in a sport not known for it being lucrative in any way?  I am truly curious...no one these days gives their hard earned money....for nothing.

the majority of people here are here to satisfy the urge to view muscular women I assume.  But isn't sponsoring just another way to be close in some way to these women? 

So what is in it for the sponsor?  Enlighten me.

If you give money...give it as a gift so you don't worry what became of it.  just me

Tmark

***This is somewhat of a repost. The last version was a garbled mess and went further than intended. But it's selfish of me to not allow others to benefit from my experience. Please be careful and make sure your sponsee is worthy of your support***

I once gave light to an athlete's vision through a generous, no-strings sponsorship. Unfortunately, she took advantage of my generosity to commit fraud. ($65,000)

After securing her contract, she asked me for extra funds so she could stop doing sessions, sharing deeply disturbing personal info to do so. But then, while I was coming to terms with what she shared, she "suddenly" had a problem with my emotional support and cut me off, defaulting on our contract.

Then she returned to sessions, including from hotel rooms I paid for in support of her contest needs, and threatened my livelihood when I tried to appeal to her integrity and bring her to account. To this day I have no idea what the rest of the funds were spent on.

Hard to believe I once thought she was special or deserving of my support. Her actions diminished her achievement and painted her in an ugly light. Fraud is common, but integrity is rare - I did not find it here. Fortunately, I have since found someone far more deserving, honest and humble.
"Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you've made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success."

dc3rd


squatty2

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No I don't accept that.  I genuinely sought to help someone that I thought had a true artistry and the potential to change the face of bodybuilding, but no means to get there.  As I said to her at the start, it would have been a crime to see her potential go unrealized but for the "mere" lack of money.

Certainly I expected better than getting treated like shit or for my sponsorship to be treated as a joke.  But at the end of the day, all I really expected was to be acknowledged for my support and allowed to enjoy the end result - her performances and seeing her succeed.  I don't see that as buying respect, but as a perfectly reasonable expectation given the huge financial layout I made for her.

It's not clear how you weren't allowed to enjoy the end result.  She got her pro card, and you saw her compete.  You weren't prohibited from that.

I can understand the level of disappointment, but I don't know that I'd call it fraud.  Sessions and camming provide the money some of these women NEED.  How much was the sponsorship?  Unless your sponsorship provided not just the money that she NEEDED, but also the money she "wanted"...when opportunities came up to supplement your stipend, she took it. In spite of the damage to her psyche.

It sounds like she SHOULD have had a conversation with you...but...your attempts to force a conversation that she wasn't willing to have is what led to the intervention by her coach.

Dynamo

Isn't Misfit Layla Mikayla [Tess Stumpf] a stripper?

I don't know nothing about her, but nothing surprises me.

Viper4lyfe

a cautionary tale why a lot of the gentleman here must never forget they are the marks in this business-uuugh!
A bit of that Karma upping as thanks does go a long ways, friends.

VegasAce

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I wanted to confront the issue but didn't want to interfere with her pro card prep (yes, I was still putting her well being first).  So I suggested to meet after the second show without saying why.  She denied me that opportunity and instead used her coach to ambush me at the first show, revealing everything about our arrangement and declaring that she had only ever seen me as a schmoe, right there in front of him, despite how much I had done for her. Basically to get me to back off so I wouldn't be able to bring her to task.

Honestly, you DO come across as a huge schmoe in retelling this account of what happened. I get "sponsoring" her to help her with training/prep/competition costs, but some of the "stipulations" you wanted to put on, like for her to stop offering sessions, comes across as creepy and controlling. It sounds very much like a "I want her and no one else can!" kind of thing.

What were your end goals to this arrangement. You never really mention what your "true" motivation was for sponsoring her, and don't say it was simply to "see her get her pro card" and that you did this out of the goodness of your heart. Was it because you wanted to buy her affection and did you do this because you were hoping it would lead to some kind of romantic/sexual connection? Because if that is the case, you are far from the first guy to fall into the folly of showering a woman with money in the hope that they would get with you.

You can call it fraud, you can call it a betrayal, and you can call it whatever you want, but the reality here is that this is more on you than it is on her. You are upset that she called you a schmoe? Well, to put it bluntly this is very schmoe behavior. I would take a long, hard look in the mirror.