You know your session is going bad when.....

[grendelsm21]

LMAO!!!!  THAT is the post du jour!!  Heeheehee!!

you ask if she's into anal, she says sure just let me get ready and she walks out of her room wearing a strap on

"Daddy" aka Angie Salvagno   

[grendelsm21]

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[kholloways]

Chris Hansen of "Dateline NBC" comes out of a bathroom with his camera crew and deadpans, "Would you care to explain yourself?"

[grendelsm21]

"I'm a mutha-fuckin' schmoe and proud of it.  Amber?  Go kick that guy's ass."

Chris Hansen of "Dateline NBC" comes out of a bathroom with his camera crew and deadpans, "Would you care to explain yourself?"

[jboneman]

You've busy with your dick in your hand and she is busy talking to a friend on the phone...and you blow your load anyway...

[whocares]

Chris Hansen of "Dateline NBC" comes out of a bathroom with his camera crew and deadpans, "Would you care to explain yourself?"

The all too familiar voice of the ubertroll extroidonaire echoed like a cacophony of sardonic whispers in what was meant to be a deserted house.
"why dont you take a seat over there" he half asks in an instructive tone. I say nothing, but place myself on the barstool in the centre of the kitchen cum living room.
"what are you doing here?" His voice sounds rehearsed and forced, not really inquisitive or genuine at all. My thoughts race, almost merge into one big gail wind of confusion and self concern. Then, I leap up from the stool, and yell at the top of my lungs " THE CAKE WAS A LIE!" I leap over  the counter and seize my snobish prize by the throat.
"Relax babe" I wink at the teenage accress "I knew you were 18 all along, but it seems we will have to finish this latter"
I draw a loaded pistol revolver from my pocket and hold it at the forehead of the he-bitch and tell him that if he moves I WILL kill him. I then proceed to have my way with my quarry; powerless to resist, I take what I want. Hansen's head rings like a bell as I pound him both anally and with my arms.
"Perverted justice might be quick, but you cant outrun my fists" I tell him with irony. It is ironic because it is actaully my own dick - a fat one - that is beating him visciously against the table now.

After I finish, I high five the hooker slut "next time..." I tell her.

Latter that day, I am arrested by the police, tasered like a bro, and escorted to the makeshift booking station where I am charged with soliciting sex from a minor, rape, battery, resisting arrest, and sexually assulting 2 police officers for the Lulz, in addition to properrty damage with my feet against the interior of the unmarked police vehicle.

In court, I am released on conditional bail that I seek mental health support, and am back on the internet within the hour under the same screen name, chatting with my old pals about what an exciting day I had. Just then, I notice my special penpal's avatar light up. I messege her and arrage for more of the same next week...

In retrospect, the private session could have been much better.

[23MKW]

you ask if she's into anal, she says sure just let me get ready and she walks out of her room wearing a strap on

Great idea for roleplay, perhaps with Mistress Treasure.

[acecal]

When Dayana Cadeau looks at you and says (after you paid) "Sorry, I got my period today and we can't do anything sensual" even though you talked to her on the phone 15 minutes earlier and she "forgot" to bring that up. Then you look at her and realize she looks like Little Richard.......

[uptomyleftnut]

ya except   fbbs DONT GET their periods     being on juice      ugh

[HarleyKG]

She leaves the TV on and watches it while she "wrestles" ...

She takes a phone call about her broken hot water heater ...

(both real stories)

[Jonas]

When Dayana Cadeau looks at you and says (after you paid) "Sorry, I got my period today and we can't do anything sensual" even though you talked to her on the phone 15 minutes earlier and she "forgot" to bring that up. Then you look at her and realize she looks like Little Richard.......

How long ago was this?

[bicepboy]

You've busy with your dick in your hand and she is busy talking to a friend on the phone...and you blow your load anyway...

So, you've sessioned with Gayle Moher, then?

[bicepboy]

She leaves the TV on and watches it while she "wrestles" ...

She takes a phone call about her broken hot water heater ...

(both real stories)

You've definitely sessioned with Gayle Moher.....

[rm6543]

Good one kholloways!!!

[gatorvin]

she says: 'ok, some girls give you a session like the porno channel, this one is gonna be more like the disney channel' (true story sadly - and she wasnt kidding. you could have viewed a tape of it well before 9pm watershed)

[bubba69]

One minute I'm enjoying a boxing session with Sandra Faas, and the next thing I know I'm on my back and she is forcing me to worship her bicep in my face.  She knocked me out with a kick.  I never saw it coming, and never knew what hit me!  I would do it all over again though for sure.  I was sore for over a week.  Busted nose and lip, black eye, bruised ribs, and a sore jaw!