The Tale of the Newlywed Couple from Queem

[deadlykitten]

DISCLAIMER: Had written this back in 2013 as an exercise in writing ballads (Figures it would only be an fmg story to keep me motivated enough to right something this long!). Am looking to illustrate it at some point. In any case, hope you enjoy it!

The Tale Of The Newlywed Couple From Queem

1
In the village of Queem, that respected taboos,
In traditional simpler times,
Lived a newlywed couple that had cause to sue,
What their matchmaker chose to divine.
The poor couple just couldn't have sex even though
The new wife had been praying each night.
But the powers of god, all his fire, brimstone
Couldn't make this man's penis upright.

There was one little problem that made it unable –
The husband was into buff chicks.
While his wife did remain a coy, tiny, sweet angel,
He couldn't see out of that fix.
And he chose not to tell her, the secret (he thought)
Of his passion was hard to accept.
Still he kissed and caressed and imagined his best,
But a semi was all he could get.

The new wife (as the innocent virgin she was)
Had decided on blaming herself.
So she took to a convent, confessed to the nuns,
And requested for some kind of help.
Said the nuns, "Not to worry my dear, we are blessed,
With fine dildos and laced lingerie,
Raunchy libraries, teachings and practical tests,
We're the best kind of sluts in our way.
If you worry our order's devotion is heinous,
You've no reason or cause to dismay.
For our cross has our Jesus with MIGHTY big Penis,
Which does keep the foul devil at bay.

With these blessings abound, we make Magdalene proud,
Is there anything more I need say?"
So she studied with zest and became quite renowned,
For the prostitute's craft she displayed.

But how useless the skill, 'tween the sheets she did find,
The erection had still not appeared.
So her spousal devotion did weaken with time,
While her lust was becoming quite fierce.
For a while she did keep to her vows with resort,
To broad vegetables stuffed up her crotch,
While her husband did wank to his terrible art,
So their marriage was almost forgot.

Though neglect of his wife didn't bother him much,
On one Sunday in church he was seized -
By a twist in his heart when he happened to catch,
His dear wife slyly wink at a priest.
At confession the priest did inquire of it,
And the husband confessed his affairs.
Of his wife's puny form, unarousing to him,
Even though she was gorgeous when bare.
And his mounting neglect that just couldn't forbid,
The seduction of priests during prayer.
"Don't despair," Said the priest. "ChoirBoys are our kinda shit.
But I do have advice that I'll share.
A relationship counsellor you desperately need,
For desires you wholly should relish.
There's a woman I know, she sets fantasies free,
A wise fairy of all kinds of fetish."

So the priest did divulge the mad path to her house,
Every detail the husband took note.
And he crept out that night, left his wife sleeping sound,
And set off through the fields all alone.

2
With no moon in the sky he did trudge through the mud,
With wet shoes on his tired two feet,
And it seemed like forever before he did come,
To the place of the penis-shaped tree.
It soared up in the clouds, an erotic tree tower,
At its foot were two bushes quite hairy.
And on top, far above, silhouetted by stars,
Was the home of the wise Fetish Fairy.

The thick hairs of each bush quickly pulled him between –
Them. And, clasping him tight on each side,
He was whizzed up the tree at a maddening speed,
Until he was touching the sky.
When it reached at the top, they ejected him forth,
On a welcome mat perched on a sill.
And he thought "This is mad!" as he knocked on the door,
(Cause the vertigo made him quite ill).

And a woman did answer the door, gorgeous brown,
And quite tall (would be 6 ft for sure),
A long face with dark eyes, her brown hair in a bun,
And she wore a coat made out of fur.

"Do come in my dear boy, and sit down opposite,"
Came the sensual sounding request.
"Do forgive my strange home, it is quite desolate,
Did the journey here cause you distress?"
"Not too much," said the man. "A bit tiring no doubt,
But I'm sure it is worth all the pain."
And she said, "Since all fetishes I can allow
That long journey is never in vain."

So he stepped in her house, and how humble it seemed,
With no furniture save a low table -
In the centre on carpeted floor. When he'd seen -
All the millions glass bottles (all labelled) -
He was shocked. That which seemed from outside like a hut,
Was as tall as a lighthouse inside.
Every inch of the walls carried shelves where she put,
All desires as potions – Her pride.

"Down to business my dear, do speak freely with me,
There's no judging desires in here."
So with no hesitation the man did reveal,
It was muscular girls he revered.
"That's a rare one," She said, "But not new or bizarre.
I can ably provide for your needs."
So she climbed up her ladder and grabbed a small jar,
And a bottle of juice that was green.
As she climbed to the bottom, the man tried to see,
What the letters her labelling spelled,
But distracted on glimpsing the soles of her feet,
He forgot the two bottles she held.

And she put them both into a small leather pouch,
And then pulled out a parchment and quill,
Where she wrote the instructions, to clear any doubts,
And she finished by writing the bill.
"Jesus Christ!" said the man, "I had thought this was free!"
As he looked at the price she had charged.
"I provide a grand premium service," said she.
"I am not just some magical tart!"
"But on my little income I can't afford this,"
Said the man, while returning the pouch.
And the fairy did see he was quite embarrassed,
So decided to give him an out.

"Keep the pouch my dear boy and its contents as well,
But don't think it's considered a gift.
In return, from the child that you sire, a hair,
Is all that I need you to give.
And that hair you'll provide, quite important to me,
Will not only pay off your bill,
But a lifetime supply of the potion you seek,
Is what I am willing to give."

And the man's saddened gaze had withdrawn with a smile,
As he bent down and kissed both her feet,
"Oh sweet generous queen! Nothing better I'll find,
So be sure I will bring what you need."

So he bid her farewell, and with care he stepped out,
To night's vista, a glorious sight,
The bushes then grabbed him and zipped straight down,
While his hands held the pouch very tight.

Once back on the ground, he set off for his home,
Looking forward to fucking his wife,
And he thought of the fairy, her generous loan,
As he made his way through the cold night.

3
The next morning the wife had woke up all alone,
And decided to masturbate when –
Her dear husband walked in with some tea and some scones,
And she asked, "For what is this meant?"
"A surprise I have dear, for tonight is the night
When I pay off my long standing debt.
For all the neglect and for my oversight,
We shall finally indulge in some sex!"

And the wife cried with joy, as she hugged him and asked,
"Did the wizard Viagra come here?
Cause he said of our problem, a spell could be cast,
(But he said it won't help if your queer)"

"Well last night I did visit another strange being,
Who offered a better solution.
I had gone to the house of a wise old fairy,
Who she gave me some pills and some potion."

"So you're telling me finally we'll properly fuck?
You're hard penis inside my dry cunt?"
"Ten times better!" he said, "This does magnify lust.
So tonight's guaranteed to be fun!"

So the husband did do all the chores for the day,
And then treated her more than a queen,
Gave her manicures, pedicures, painted her nails,
With a hot scented bath in between.

Once the sun had gone down, and their dinner was done,
And the dishes were washed and kept,
They went to their bedroom, excited to fuck,
As they changed to their night clothes for bed.

Then he grabbed the small pouch, butterflies in his gut -
He had reached the great moment of truth.
So the husband pulled out the instructions with love,
And then read the conditions of use.

And it said, You must take one pill and then wait,
While your wife takes a sip of the juice,
Then assume 69 once your cock is erect,
Blow each other, then swallow the spew.

So she sipped the green juice, once the pill he'd ingested.
The erection then rose through his pants.
So he took his pants off and then lay on the bed,
While the wife celebrated in dance.

"Knock it off!" he did say, "Just come sit on my face."
So she lifted her nighty and stood,
On the bed with her muff straight above the man's gaze,
And she sat so his lips kissed her groove.


And he licked, and he licked. She was dripping away,
More and more streaming into his mouth.
She was moaning, gyrating when his pupils dilated,
And he felt a slight tingling down south.

And his testicles gurgled beginning to grow,
From lemons to coconut sized,
On his penis the veins slowly thickened and showed,
As the blood pumped between his small thighs.
And his throbbing thick cock became bigger and bigger,
And the girth slowly widened with force,
And the wife was amazed at what her love juice had triggered
She exclaimed, "You're endowed like a horse!"

And she slowly did shift, moving onto his chest,
As she put both her hands 'round his cock,
And she licked the bulbed tip now as high as her head,
And her hands gently stroked his huge balls.
With her tongue she then traced, the bulging thick vein,
All the way from the base to the top,
And with both her small hands she was squeezing while saying,
"Till you come I am not going to stop."
So she rubbed her whole body on his cock, up and down,
And it shuddered - about to let loose.
So she quickly did put the whole tip in her mouth,
And was gulping down all the warm spew.

"How delicious," she said, "That was tasty and fun."
And she wiped her wet lips with her dress.
"But your beautiful cock won't fit in my cunt,
So our issue is still unaddressed."

"Just give it some time," was the husband's reply,
But a second was all that did pass,
When she broke in a sweat, and then moaned with delight
And began breathing deeply and hard.
And wet patches were forming all over her dress,
At her armpits and under her breasts,
And her veins began showing all over her neck,
Between tiny droplets of sweat.
It was then when she said, "God what's happening to me!"
And she stood up on top of the bed,
And the sweat slowly streamed down her thighs to her feet,
With her veins bulging thick everywhere.
And her neck slowly thickened, as her shoulders did broaden,
And her throat was beginning to swell,
And her breasts moved apart, as her pecs did enlarge,
And striations appeared on her chest.
And her feminine back became bulky and widened,
As ridges of muscle appeared,
And her nighty did stretch, her soft stomach did tighten,
As eight bulges emerged hard and fierce.
And her arms were both throbbing, as her biceps were forming,
And his cock grew some more as he stared.
And she grabbed his huge dick, as her hands became big,
And her sleeves were beginning to tear.
And her head touched the roof, as her feet slowly grew,
And the bed slowly creaked under stress,
And her legs became stronger, her toes became longer,
When she turned her dress ripped into shreds.


His petite demure wife had become oversized!
Oh the muscle, the veins and the sweat!
And his cock became harder, her clit became larger,
And she said, "I can feel something else."
And he looked at her crotch, his wide eyes stared in shock,
As he saw what emerged from her cunt.
A four foot long tongue was now licking his cock,
And his monstrous wife seemed as stunned.

But she smiled and she sighed, patient lust in her eyes,
As she put her huge foot on his cheek,
And then with her long toes, pushed his head on its side,
As the tongue coiled around his huge dick.
And it squeezed it quite hard, and then pulled it inside,
(His whole cock fit quite well in her cunt)
And the tongue did the work, as she sat for the ride,
And she moaned between grunts while she fucked.
Then she held both his arms by the side of his head,
And lowered herself onto him,
And her abs rubbed him, wet, with his face in her chest,
And the tongue was still squeezing within.

And so they made love, through the cool winter night,
(They both came at least seven times).
And they rested once tired, a deep sleep from the high,
And woke late in the morn normal sized.
And they looked at each other and giggled with love,
And hugged each other and smiled,
Both relieved with their "flaccid days" now overcome,
They could finally sire a child.

And the mysteries waiting, the future they'll have,
In the next twisted tale I'll relate,
Of the fairy's request, and her mysterious plan,
For the beautiful daughter they made.

[deadlykitten]

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