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Forum Saradas  |  Private Sessions  |  Q & A about sessions  |  Telling your S/O about sessions
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Author Topic: Telling your S/O about sessions  (Read 3960 times)

Offline jpmorgan

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2019, 05:19:52 pm »
This post has been very helpful to me.

I honestly think I would never tell a girl I am seriously into about my fetish. One reason is that the few times I have been really in love and in a healthy relationship then I have lost interest or forget about my fbb fetish.

I think most girls I would be dating would not approve, but if I did see a fbb and she was open to fun wrestling then it would be a nice benefit.

Offline MixedFighter99

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2019, 10:31:09 pm »
I think I am too well ingrained in my wrestling/muscles fetishes to completely giving them up as I always going to look at it online. But at some point I will give up sessioning whether it be for someone else or I am simply gotten to old.

Offline taoschild

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2019, 01:46:39 am »
I had an ex girlfriend years ago tell me that I should open up to a psychiatrist about this since she thought I had emotional issues by wanting to be dominated/beaten by women. I almost have done it but felt too ashamed admitting it out to a psychiatrist. I think she is perhaps right but also at the same time it's a healthy vice for all members involved. What harm am I causing especially I did quit while we were dating??

I don't think you are doing any harm, especially if you were honest with her. Why is it any different than a man liking big boobs (extra fat) rather than muscular ones? Everyone has their own tastes, but society tells us that muscle on women is bad. My new book Muscle Therapy is about this topic.
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Offline FBBMW

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #18 on: February 09, 2019, 02:45:12 am »
When you tell your SO about sessions, they won't hear Wrestling, Lifting, etc. 
They will think sex with that girl and that they aren't good enough. 

Offline outmuscled

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #19 on: February 12, 2019, 09:24:36 pm »
Most women aren't going to get it. They'll feel more baffled than betrayed.
I've grappled with and been lifted by a few women who really couldn't even understand that I found their strength a turn on.
I can just imagine telling a partner I'm turned on by *another* woman's muscles ...

Offline MixedFighter99

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #20 on: February 12, 2019, 11:34:09 pm »
Most women aren't going to get it. They'll feel more baffled than betrayed.
I've grappled with and been lifted by a few women who really couldn't even understand that I found their strength a turn on.
I can just imagine telling a partner I'm turned on by *another* woman's muscles ...

My experience has been not about the muscles but rather everything else that comes with it. Wanting to be beaten by a woman with large muscles and then worship them. I think the few women I told them about this they had a more difficult time understanding that part of my fetish then just like ladies with muscles.  The woman I been seeing admitted she struggles more then with the idea that i wanted to be beaten/dominated by a woman with muscles then simply wanting to have sex with her. And to be honest she has been by far the most open and understanding with this which makes, she is by far the coolest woman I ever been with. :)

Offline xepha

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2019, 10:11:53 pm »
Telling your S/O that you are sessioning while still in the relationship, then expecting some kind of combination of forgiveness and enthusiasm about your fetish, strikes me as incredibly risky if not downright stupid.  Unless you are unwittingly looking for an excuse to end it - in that case, go right ahead!

Offline johnnylm

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2019, 01:18:48 am »
I've been busted just for looking at pictures, and there have been many unpleasant discussions about my fetish.  These women actually give my S/O an inferiority complex. Unless your S/O is just incredibly open-minded and sexually curious, it's a very bad idea.

Offline sycamore

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2019, 10:54:27 pm »
Telling your S/O that you are sessioning while still in the relationship, then expecting some kind of combination of forgiveness and enthusiasm about your fetish, strikes me as incredibly risky if not downright stupid.  Unless you are unwittingly looking for an excuse to end it - in that case, go right ahead!

+1  :D

Offline MrBogus

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #24 on: May 06, 2019, 01:20:26 am »
Telling your S/O that you are sessioning while still in the relationship, then expecting some kind of combination of forgiveness and enthusiasm about your fetish, strikes me as incredibly risky if not downright stupid.  Unless you are unwittingly looking for an excuse to end it - in that case, go right ahead!

Hear, hear. This thread is like naive white guy shit with an added dollop of the stupid fantasies that schmoes make up on boards like this that other schmoes often rabidly consume since it seems so many of you want to build an active community of willful self delusion.

@lagoon95:
Here is a way of putting what you dream about in brutally honest terms:

Dear girlfriend:
You know what really gets me on? Huge female bodybuilders or large fitness girls -- you know the diametric opposite of your body type. And what do I think about your type of body? Well I get off on your body between less so, to much less so. Infact in the past I have paid to "session" with this type of muscular women and spent ludicrous sums of money compared to say a regular escort! But hey babe, can't I have the best of both worlds? You can be my regular, but I would also like your permission to also session? Because I want to get my fetish needs met also openly because "I'm honest" and I am too dumb to either put sessions behind me or do it on the sly like a normal guy with some semblance of street sense.

Offline johnnylm

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2019, 06:05:43 pm »
That would totally work. Good suggestion, Mr. Bogus!

Online larky368

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2019, 08:41:30 pm »
  A fetish can be anything from big breasts to big feet. Some are turned on by hairy armpits or dirty talk. The list is endless. Huge muscles and tremendous strength is the opposite of what most of us have in our girlfriends. I am going to go out on a limb here and state that the unfeminine trait of bulging muscles and overpowering strength is what we find so arousing. It goes against human nature and preconceived notions. An extreme example is the fetish for shemales. It doesn't mean you like dudes. It's just that the thought of a woman with a penis fascinates some guys. A girlfriend shouldn't feel that she is unloved or unattractive. It's just that a certain type of stimulus flips a switch in our brains.
However, just as we can use that argument then so can she. She doesn't have to explain why she doesn't like it ; she just doesn't.

Offline MrBogus

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2019, 10:42:51 pm »
Just when I thought you may eventually make a good point eventually, I found this gem!
An extreme example is the fetish for shemales. It doesn't mean you like dudes. It's just that the thought of a woman with a penis fascinates some guys.

NOOOO!!!! If I as a male start to have gender confusion and discover trans ideology and transition there is nothing that can make me into a female PERIOD! There is no way that doctors can butcher my penis into a vagina -- full stop. Certainly if you are attracted to trans men who are gender confused and want to be women yet keep a full intact dick(or shemales as you like to euphemistically put it), that means you are pretty gay and looking for justifications via crazy trans theory! You seriously need to look at your life if that is how you feel. Almost no one gives a shit about trans theory outside of the media and small identity politics and activist milieus. If someone has a penis they are guy and if they have a vagina they are girl. Someone with a penis who is gender confused is never gonna have that penis turn into a vagina no matter what angry trans activists and closeted homos want to think.

Saradas comments, the gift that keeps on giving...

Offline versmuscle12

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #28 on: May 07, 2019, 07:25:18 pm »
  A fetish can be anything from big breasts to big feet. Some are turned on by hairy armpits or dirty talk. The list is endless. Huge muscles and tremendous strength is the opposite of what most of us have in our girlfriends. I am going to go out on a limb here and state that the unfeminine trait of bulging muscles and overpowering strength is what we find so arousing. It goes against human nature and preconceived notions. An extreme example is the fetish for shemales. It doesn't mean you like dudes. It's just that the thought of a woman with a penis fascinates some guys. A girlfriend shouldn't feel that she is unloved or unattractive. It's just that a certain type of stimulus flips a switch in our brains.
However, just as we can use that argument then so can she. She doesn't have to explain why she doesn't like it ; she just doesn't.

You are spot on with this.  In fact, there has been some research done as to why certain guys like, for example, large muscular women, or transgender women, and it essentially as you describe it.  I.e. the reason it is a turn on is because it is contrast and an element of surprise when juxtaposed against societal/established norms of femininity and beauty.  If you are honest with your partner about these sorts of things, it can open the door for more honest dialogue and potentially even allowing those fantasies/fetishes to be fulfilled in some capacity. 

Offline Dingaro

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Re: Telling your S/O about sessions
« Reply #29 on: May 07, 2019, 09:07:13 pm »
MrBogus, just stop with your transphobic shit and your narrow mindedness. You view of human sexuality ("penis guy, vagina girl") is simplistic, and you don't understand that people are more complicated than that.

Your "brutally honest" thing is way off the mark for a lot of people, and in many cases, two people in a relationship can find solutions that are unconventional and work for them. Also, who says that we like our SOs less than our fetish? Who says we've done sessions while with them? All of these are your assumptions which will vary between cases.

In this thread, we discuss experiences around trying to find those solutions. If you haven't found that in your relationship, I'm sorry, that is unlucky, but to generalize and say that nobody can find it is just bitter and uncalled for.

I agree that in many cases it will be difficult to find a partner that's sympathetic, but that doesn't mean a) that all cases are the same b) that it isn't worth it to be honest with your partner and c) that they won't have at least a willingness to listen and understand, because they love you.

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