Friendship with a female bodybuilder

[FemFlexUSA]

"All the things are true."  Almost.  There are no absolutes in muscle sports or in relationships - your experiences are going to be unique to you. 

Most competitive female bodybuilders and physique athletes have "regular" (read: offline in the real world) jobs. That's how they support themselves and their families. The few who do sessions or webcam, etc. are the exception to the rule, and the numbers aren't even close.

That said, doing one's due diligence means something entirely different today than it did 25 years ago. And though we live in a microwave society, there's really no need to rush anything. Real friendships can and do emerge from paid sessions or sponsorship type arrangements, but they're unlikely to develop overnight.

[birmi482]

@femflexusa. I really wished you were right with regards to real frienships coming out of paid webcam or session relationships. Unfortunately, what dictates and governs these relationships are the financial supporting and sponsorship functions. You say that most of these girls have real time jobs (whatever real time job means - probably gym coaches, some promotional work). Most of them are in a relationship - marriage or live with their partner - so probably the real reason for them being interested in a relationship with an "online fan" are of finacial reasons. Most of their partners are from the bb/strength industry who depend on the income of their female partner/spouse. I really doubt that this situation leaves space for a real and honest friendship which is entirely independent of money issues. I tend to suspect that once the "fan" stops to support the fbb financially, their relationship will be over very soon thereafter... so much to real friendship

[Polite Society]

 Your own bitter experience doesn't make everyone else's able to be tarred with the same brush. I have had my share of them so I sympathise..Jay Fuchs...cough..but the very good outweigh the bad.  Achilleus hasn't exactly been robbed blind. 

[birmi482]

@polite society. No one has been robbed, everyone can decide whether he supports a FBB or not. And Achilleus also paid his share, having paid sessions with his friend. My posts are meant as a realistic wake up calls for dreamers, i am not embittered at all as you present it. Just being realistic about the true incentives. Sorry for calling the baby by his name (or her name...)

[Polite Society]

@polite society. No one has been robbed, everyone can decide whether he supports a FBB or not. And Achilleus also paid his share, having paid sessions with his friend. My posts are meant as a realistic wake up calls for dreamers, i am not embittered at all as you present it. Just being realistic about the true incentives. Sorry for calling the baby by his name (or her name...)

 But it has no basis if you are writing such negativity with zero knowledge of it. You are presenting it as fact to the 'dreamers'.  We are countering it because if someone reading it was put off trying to contact a competitor they need to know it won't leave them miserable and penniless.

[Javi45]

Had my experience from a friendship with a FBB. It was pretty cool, she was super laid back and stuff. Only bummer was she didn’t live near me. She did tell me to come visit her. We would talk and text and sometimes FaceTime. I think she has a boyfriend cause she reached out 2 months ago and was telling me about. Never thought of ever getting with her cause it was really a friendship

[birmi482]

@polite society. I never suggested that FBBs were cheats, fraudsters or scammers ( there are indeed posts about Jay Fuchs in the scammers section of this forum), i just wrote as reply to the person who started this thread that if a relationships starts on a paid webcam platform, there money issue will certainly almost always be a major topic. Without a financial "investment" this relationship will hardly develop. What other motivation than money would a FBB who is in a private relationship in her real life, have in order to develop a relationship with a stranger ?? Many of us dream of it, I neither envy you nor achilleus, but a bit of reality sense would not hurt anyone

[Polite Society]

@polite society. I never suggested that FBBs were cheats, fraudsters or scammers ( there are indeed posts about Jay Fuchs in the scammers section of this forum), i just wrote as reply to the person who started this thread that if a relationships starts on a paid webcam platform, there money issue will certainly almost always be a major topic. Without a financial "investment" this relationship will hardly develop. What other motivation than money would a FBB who is in a private relationship in her real life, have in order to develop a relationship with a stranger ?? Many of us dream of it, I neither envy you nor achilleus, but a bit of reality sense would not hurt anyone

  I don't think you are offering any perspective that balances it out. You have no example of being ripped off to state this will happen. People can make up their own minds. Both sides have made their case.

[birmi482]

@polite society. My posts are a reply to Makko2 question regarding a true relationship/friendship with a FBB
 My posts are based on real life experiences even if they don"t fit your storybook, they are very relevant to anybody who wishes to become a close friend to a FBB who he first met on a webcam session. I never said that I have been ripped off, i said explicitly that these girls are no scammers and cheats, the other way round. But one who wants to become close to an FBB especially one that he merts on webcam, needs to know to nothing comes for free. This was my point from the beginning, i was not pointing fingers at anyone special, i just wanted to raise this issue as it is a pattrrn that repeats itself quite often.

[nujerz84]

I could write a memoir of the various relationships with the many beautiful ladies of muscle over 15 years. Some of which is documented on social media. Lets just say the desire/wish of being in romantic relationship is no longer there based on my many experiences.  Though I have been lucky and fortunate, that if I never do anything schmoe related ever again..

I lived a “legendary schmoe” life for what its worth, a “schmoe life” that many guys would love to Experience and things I thought would only happen in my dreams


I’m far from rich, don’t run any fem muscle websites.. I just seem to have a good Rapport with the ladies on the scene once I meet them.. be it at a show, convention, session, video/photo shoot or on social media.

I think never giving off any super schmoey/weirdo vibes helps because the ladies always gets those types of emails/messages.  Also in my favor... words spreads among the ladies there been a few occasions where I met/contact a muscle chick for the first time and said that they already heard/know of me and would like to meet me 🤯.   So it also helps to be in good standing with the ladies you do meet/see.

Maybe one day I will write it.

[Bernie1212]

I have been reading this thread and I will put my two cents in.  I have been around the webcam arena for many years I started on FTcam before HBC was around and was there for the launch of HBC.  I have only been in the in-person session game for a little over a year now.  Though I can tell you 100% if you approach either of these from the perspective of trying to make a friend out of a performer by seeing her on cam, that is always going to fail and/or disappoint.  Some times you go into these things and organically friendships can blossom.  There was a time in 2006-2008 time frame that I had cell phone numbers for and had met in person with 10-15 of the top webcam performers of the time.  I had regular friendships with many of them.  At one point in time there was two of the top performers on HBC that lived within 30 miles of me and I regularly met with both of them (separately) to just hang out, grab a bite to eat, etc.  I would say throughout my time I spent on HBC I have cultivated a few very strong friendships, but as friendships go, over time and distance they are simply not as strong as they once where.  But they have all gone the course of many of my other friendships.  More recently I have connected with a few performers, not to the same extent, but things are just different now.  It could be me (as experiences in life have left me more guarded) or it could just be a change in the times.  Of those previous I still am in contact with them to this day, and "the money" has never been the hinging point in our relationships.  It was probably what got my foot in the door, but it did eventually lead to one of them would reject me every time I tried to take her private.  She didn't want it to be about the money.  Anyway, some where about the money, but not all.  As far as relationships with in-person session providers, it is far too soon for me to say at this point.  I do have regular contact with a few women I have had sessions with, but only maybe a third of them.  If these relationships would carry on if the money went away, I am 50/50 on that.  One for sure I do thing would continue on the others I am not sure. 

So to answer the question of whether it is possible to carry on a regular friendship with a FFB etc. that started with a webcam or in-person session, it is possible but not the norm.  I figure I have been lucky over the time I have been connected with this industry and have built some good and long lasting relationships while (as far as I know) not burning any bridges.  It is possible to befriend someone you met paying for their attention, but I would not go in to that situation assuming that it will happen for sure.

[Bernie1212]

I could write a memoir of the various relationships with the many beautiful ladies of muscle over 15 years. Some of which is documented on social media. Lets just say the desire/wish of being in romantic relationship is no longer there based on my many experiences.  Though I have been lucky and fortunate, that if I never do anything schmoe related ever again..

I lived a “legendary schmoe” life for what its worth, a “schmoe life” that many guys would love to Experience and things I thought would only happen in my dreams


I’m far from rich, don’t run any fem muscle websites.. I just seem to have a good Rapport with the ladies on the scene once I meet them.. be it at a show, convention, session, video/photo shoot or on social media.

I think never giving off any super schmoey/weirdo vibes helps because the ladies always gets those types of emails/messages.  Also in my favor... words spreads among the ladies there been a few occasions where I met/contact a muscle chick for the first time and said that they already heard/know of me and would like to meet me 🤯.   So it also helps to be in good standing with the ladies you do meet/see.

Maybe one day I will write it.

Weird we both posted at basically the same time.  When I posted mine it said that someone else had posted while I was typing. 

I can concur with this man, he has lived the dream schmoe life....and everything he wrote hits the nail on the head 100%

I am not saying you are my idol, but between and femflexusa......

[nujerz84]

I could write a memoir of the various relationships with the many beautiful ladies of muscle over 15 years. Some of which is documented on social media. Lets just say the desire/wish of being in romantic relationship is no longer there based on my many experiences.  Though I have been lucky and fortunate, that if I never do anything schmoe related ever again..

I lived a “legendary schmoe” life for what its worth, a “schmoe life” that many guys would love to Experience and things I thought would only happen in my dreams


I’m far from rich, don’t run any fem muscle websites.. I just seem to have a good Rapport with the ladies on the scene once I meet them.. be it at a show, convention, session, video/photo shoot or on social media.

I think never giving off any super schmoey/weirdo vibes helps because the ladies always gets those types of emails/messages.  Also in my favor... words spreads among the ladies there been a few occasions where I met/contact a muscle chick for the first time and said that they already heard/know of me and would like to meet me 🤯.   So it also helps to be in good standing with the ladies you do meet/see.

Maybe one day I will write it.

Weird we both posted at basically the same time.  When I posted mine it said that someone else had posted while I was typing. 

I can concur with this man, he has lived the dream schmoe life....and everything he wrote hits the nail on the head 100%

I am not saying you are my idol, but between and femflexusa......

Same thing happened to me when I clicked post lol thanks for the kind words.  Hopefully things get better with this Corona virus situation.  I literally just got off the phone with Sydney.. I’d would be in California right now smh.

[Bernie1212]

Same thing happened to me when I clicked post lol thanks for the kind words.  Hopefully things get better with this Corona virus situation.  I literally just got off the phone with Sydney.. I’d would be in California right now smh.

Ha...great minds think alike.  Or something like that.  For sure, you always steer people right, it's just a matter of them listening. 

Yeah, I had to take some time away from sessions a bit at the beginning of the year, and was going to hit up Syd and Nadia starting April then the world went to crap.  They will be my first two emails when they are both opening up for clients.  I dont k mlm ow if it's worse your stuck over there or that I'm so close and still cant.  Ha.