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481289 Posts in 61650 Topics by 24449 Members - Latest Member: Lomarto June 21, 2021, 07:52:18 pm
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Forum Saradas  |  Female Muscle Art - Female Muscle Fiction  |  Muscular Women Fiction  |  My best friend's mom
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Author Topic: My best friend's mom  (Read 8828 times)

Offline QBikk

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Re: My best friend's mom
« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2021, 11:48:23 am »
And that the end everybody :) thank you all for the kind comments! I hope you all enjoyed.

Dear BossRose,
First of all, thanks for sharing your story with us, it requires an effort to write. I found you story interesting to read, fresh, as your story line isn't one I encountered in others stories I did read in the past. You should keep writing, I saw on some other sites that you are not new at this. ;-)
As for potential improvements, you could give more dimensions to your characters. The interactions are only based on their interests and you don't deep dive in the tough topics up to the end. It gives a feeling of rushing things at the end, the connections and overall sense is a bit missing. Because the 'One Year Later', you imply that everything went fine afterwards, but in the meantime, they had a serious discussion in the gym and all wasn't that fine or resolved in the end. More dialogues, backgrounds could bring more dimension to your characters and your story plot.
Thanks again for sharing
QBikk

I'm glad you liked this little story and thank you for taking the time help me out with some very nice feed back :)

You are most welcome, you shared your effort and time. The least we can do is show appreciation and our opinion on what works right and what can be improved. Stay safe

Offline crow004

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Re: My best friend's mom
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2021, 05:20:52 pm »
I'm really liking this story! I loved the flirting and the foreplay! I'm glad Will and the mom are still together after a year. And that everyone made up after that emotional blow-out. But I'd really like to see how they all made amends. And seeing more muscle-flirting never hurts! K+

Offline GreenJenni

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Re: My best friend's mom
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2021, 08:58:39 pm »
This was a fantastic read!! I dunno if you want to continue it, it seems to have ended at a great place, at least in my opinion. But I certainly wouldn't complain if you continued!! Good work!!

Forum Saradas  |  Female Muscle Art - Female Muscle Fiction  |  Muscular Women Fiction  |  My best friend's mom
 

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