Ever since I was a teenager I fantasized about muscular women and always wanted a fit woman for a girlfriend or wife. Well, anyway, my wife had somewhat okay thighs, but never got in any good shape and I never had a special moment with a woman of my dreams, as shitty as that is to say about one's wife, but it is reality, and hey, I was not her dream man either. Now I am almost 40 and the dream seems dead. wife never gonna get there, and even if she did our marriage is done anyway. To restart would not put me in any advantageous situation, I would bomb out of the dating world pretty hard, with nothing to offer. I suppose I became the schmoe I never accepted I was, but even schmoes seemed to get some action, even if it meant paying for it.
Anyway, for those of us who merely lurked and consumed and never actually partook, does it hurt? Have you gotten over it as you've gotten older and realized it will only ever be a mental fantasy for you? That the sex life and sexiness of some people was never going to be a part of your life? Those dreams and aspirations as a horny young lad were all pipedreams, figments of the imagination. There was always hopium, but some of us were hardly ever well equipped to deal well in the land of dates.
I've noticed as I've accepted my fate and lack of fate I don't care to look at pictures or watch videos anymore. The old libido isn't awakened like it used to be. It's not a burnout per se, I've gone months without looking at pictures or porn adn then looked again, and in the past that would have meant a hard relapse where I would find it difficult to abstain from the muscles for long, but this time I'm just ... meh. I no longer care. It's nice and all that some women, many of whom I see IRL, have great physiques, great gams, but I'm so far gone in my own lack of action that I no longer care and feel asexual or apathetic about it. I suppose it's run its course. Now I'm more interested in hearing the stories of love and loss or similar experiences of my own and I didn't know where else to discuss this other than this forum, which seems dead anyway, but I digress.
Since before puberty I was fascinated by strong women/girls but was naturally strong myself and as such as I reached puberty any female being stronger than me was just fantasy. In my late teens and 20s I went to gyms looking for strong women but only found I was still getting stronger and the women were still not strong enough.
In the meantime I had plenty of female company and at some point my dream of finding a stronger woman probably died and remained pure fantasy. I eventually married and am still married to a good woman who I love and she loves me.
I am now in my mid 50s and eventually found a session girl who is stronger than me and whilst she sees to my desires in many ways it is still just fun (albeit great fun) but then I return to “normal life.”
The point of me telling my story is to advise you never give up firstly on life because you only get one chance to make the best of it and be happy with what and who you have. There is nothing to stop you dreaming/fantasising even if you have to keep it to yourself as you never know one day circumstances may change and an opportunity to fulfil your fantasies may unexpectedly arise.
You are still young enough to make changes to your life that could significantly improve your prospects of fulfilling your fantasies but it sounds you have to rediscover a joy for life first and in that respect you may benefit from the advice of a professional.
