He needed a tooth removed cheaply. She had the tools to do the job – her legs!
Bob’s tooth was fucking killing him and he knew he had to have it removed, but he had no dental insurance. He was bitching about it at work one day to Linda, a co-worker, who smiled when he told her.
“Is it loose, and easy to get to?” she asked, looking at his pained face.
“Yeah, it’s in the back and it’s getting kinda loose, but I don’t want to tug it out myself,” he groaned, palming the side of his swollen face.
“Well, I know this dental student friend of mine, she can take it out really quickly and on the cheap,” Linda said. “But her methods are, well, rather unorthodox.”
“Who fucking cares so long as it works,” Bob groaned. “How do I reach her?”
Linda gave him Cassie’s number and he rang her up. She was pleasant sounding and said she’d charge him $30 for the extraction.
“Wow, that is cheap,” he said. “When can you do it?”
“Well, as luck would have it, it’s my leg workout day, so when I get home from the gym I should be primed and ready,” Cassie said. “How about 6?”
“The gym?” Bob asked, confused. “Leg workout? What do you mean?”
“You’ll see,” she said mysteriously. “Is six OK?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” he said. “Do you use Novocain?”
“No,” she said. “Diversion and distraction.”
“What?”
“See you at six.”
He showed at her house at six, pulling into her driveway as she did, returning from the gym. His aching jaw dropped when she got out of the car. She was stunning, auburn haired, standing nearly six feet tall and wearing a skimpy white leotard that revealed mile-long, creamy white legs etched in steely muscle erupting out of the tiny tight leg holes of her spandex outfit and rising in fists of chiseled flesh from her low socks, calves thick and hard. He introduced himself to her, eyeballing her amazing legs up and down.
“Wow, today was leg day, huh?” he smiled. “It shows.”
“Thanks,” she cooed, turning to walk inside. “C’mon in and they’ll take care of that tooth.”
“They?” he asked.
Inside, she sat him on the floor before the couch, kneeling before him and peering into his mouth. She smiled and pronounced his tooth just loose enough for “scissored extraction.”
“Scissored extraction?” he asked, really confused now as she wrapped a towel around his neck under his chin and sat behind him on the couch, spreading her gorgeous legs and placing them around his shoulders. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s putting pressure on the tooth to loosen it up and knock it out,” she growled. “With my HEADSCISSORS!!!”
She slammed her meaty pipes shut on his ears and he screamed in pain. Her thighs were enormous, like fleshy slabs of meat pounding against his skull, feeling like she’d crush it flat. His whole head felt as if caught in a muscular vice as Cassie locked her socked calves before him and squeezed with all her might.
“STOP!” he screamed, his head on fire, eyes crossed in pain. “You’ll crack my fucking skull!!!”
She eased up the straight squeeze and now pounded her thighs against his face, bending and snapping her long legs, sending her huge upper thighs cascading against his head, making it feel like she’d shatter his jaw with her hip-thrusting, thigh-quivering jolts. And then the straight squeeze again, that meaty vice on his skull. His hands gripped her chiseled thighs as they quaked in his hands and against his skull, his voice groaning from the clamp of her tireless legs.
Then he opened his mouth, barely at that since the clamp of thigh pinched his jaws nearly shut, and out tumbled the offending tooth, with a minimal accompaniment of blood. He saw it through blurry eyes and with trembling hand reached for it to hold it aloft. She laughed and let him free of her scissoring thighs, bending to wipe his face and lips with the towel.
“Bet the scissors hurt your head so much you didn’t even notice the adductors in my inner thighs focusing on crushing that tooth right out of the socket, did you?” she laughed, standing up and shaking her big thighs as she stood before him. “Diversion and distraction works every time with scissor extractions!”
Bob groaned, head throbbing but the toothache mercifully gone. He paid up, the 30 bucks the best – and somehow sexiest – he’d ever spent.
The End
