The total package is indeed the most important.
Femininity also has little to do with the actual size of the muscles rather than their shape and, most importantly, the face. Let's say a completely roided out FBB loses her muscle, does she become feminine again? No, she will still have the 5 O clock shadow and deep voice.
As long as you avoid the physiological changes that plague the sport, there is no such thing as "too big". Some examples would be Erica Cordie, Mavi Gioia, Lyndsay Cope or even Sarah Hayes.
Judging by your photos you seem to be naturally somewhat pear shaped (wider hips), so maybe fbb or physique would be the way to go. It doesn't work that well with girls who have slim hips and naturally wide shoulders, who then become top heavy, which is a look associated with manliness. While it wouldn't happen to any of the aforementioned, I can see why people would mistake Kim Perez for a man when viewed from the back.
