Forum Saradas
Female BodyBuilding & Fitness & Figure - Members Area => Tastes and opinions of Saradas members => Topic started by: expatmanager on August 11, 2017, 07:34:22 am
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Thanks for the positive feedback on Part 1 of my tips and confessions on how to date FBBs. Here is Part 2.
I think 'breaking the ice' in terms of being able to find and then having the confidence to date FBBs is the hardest step. Once you have dated a FBB, the next encounter is so much easier.
My next FBB girlfriend was again a national champion who has now one many international competitions. She is also a highly qualified personal trainer, was in her mid/late-20s with a beautiful muscular body.
Finding each other - Again it was through Facebook. I saw her pics on Forum Saradas (I think) and searched for her using Facebook. My big plus in making contact was that I am able to communicate in her language. although I did often check my translations with Google Translate when we were chatting online. A tip is that your profile should indicate that you do have some interest in gym and working out so that at least you have one thing in common to rouse her interest. Some guys think that being an admirer of muscular women and her being a muscular woman is something that you have in common. It's not - they are potentially two different interests. It's a good alignment of interests for sessions and being a member of her website, but not for a loving relationship where you share the same interests (such as staying fit, travel or whatever hobbies and interests that you share).
What to say - Some of the early topics of conversations was the state of female bodybuilding in her country and the challenges and opportunities of living a fit and healthy lifestyle in her country. We spoke about her study, her work, eventually her family and her dreams and aspirations. In fact, our conversations were never really sexual, but we did eventually share our fantasies. One that obviously sparked interest was that she dreamed of being lifted up high by a tall guy and I fell into that category. She also dreamed of being held like a kitten and I could help her out there too.
What not to say - Topics of sex were not a big feature of our conversation, especially before we met. To qualify to meet, especially if she is travelling to meet you, you need to be a decent and honest person so that she won't have anything to worry about. Yes you should make sure that she is who she says she is and she will do the same to you, but if you give her 'the third degree' in terms of questioning, she is likely to run a mile. One big mistake I made was to ask my previous FBB girlfriend to contact her to verify that I was a decent guy. As I talked with the previous girlfriend, whom I had hurt by breaking up with her, I realised this was a stupid request of mine, and I didn't pursue it. I would also say, don't be too curious about her relationship history. Appearing like an inquisitor is a turn-off, and she will eventually volunteer whatever is relevant to your future together.
Mutual attraction - I think she was curious about me and about having a relationship with a guy from another country and another race. I guess I was 'exotic' to her although I had been in relationships with women from her race before, so the 'exotic' factor was not a big attraction to me. She was, however, incredibly self-disciplined and focussed, and I admired her courage to break the mold of traditional expectations of women in her country. That kind of 'pioneering spirit' attracted me, besides her amazing muscles and skin.
Sex - She was a dream come true with her 6-8 pack abs, big arms, big shoulders, powerful legs and defined muscles. When we first met she asked me to book separate hotel rooms which I did. However after we met, she was one who cuddled up close to me when we were sitting on the floor together and she made the moves to get up close and personal. She asked me to cancel the second room. She was inexperienced sexually, but quickly loved cunnilingus, different positions and my kissing and stroking her muscles when we made love. Being on top was new to her and she loved flexing arms for me (which was also new for her). One tip is to strengthen your PC muscles (kegel exercises) so that you can hold your load long enough for her to have multiple orgasms. Guys like me who have spent far too long masturbating over pictures of muscular women, can often ejaculate prematurely soon after seeing your muscular sweetheart in all of her naked glory. 'Keeping it under control' prolongs the fun for the both of you.
Growing the relationship - Training with her was fantastic, and she taught me many things that are still part of my training routine. We shared some beautiful romantic times travelling, and she loved it when I created romantic memories for her such as fireworks, boat cruises and in the bedroom. For some reason she didn't ever want to kiss. I suspect it was because she was shy about a minor problem she had with her teeth, but the weirdness of sex but not kissing was a barrier in our growing closer together. I did all the fantasy things that she wanted and she loved it, but once those were fulfilled, we seemed to fizzle out. Breaking up was a mutual thing I would say.
End game - She eventually went back to a former bodybuilder boyfriend, and I met up with them at an international competition in future years. He was about her height (short) and I could see why she wanted to fulfill the lifting and kitten holding fantasy (amongst others). I visited her country in later years and contacted her as she suggested. She was competing at the Arnolds in the USA and so was out of the country. She has grown bigger and is a dedicated bodybuilder, but has not married yet.
Lessons learned - Not all dating ends up in a long-term relationship and this was the case here. Sometimes, you will be the curiosity, especially if you are a non-bodybuilder who loves bodybuilders. She might be experimenting with you, and if no magic happens (falling in love), then she may go back to what she knows. I tried hard to make magic, even taking her to 'the magic kingdom' but if the spark doesn't catch fire then better to let the spark die.
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I know you won't say it, but I *really* want to know who this woman is.
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A "relationship" with no kissing? OK......
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I know you won't say it, but I *really* want to know who this woman is.
Lol ... yes I can't 'kiss and tell' ...even though we didn't kiss. Hopefully in sharing experiences someone can learn from my tips, mistakes and lessons. It's only on reflection that I realised that I was her 'exotic experiment', because for her she only had experience with bodybuilder guys.
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Thanks for the replies and views. I will do part 3 soon.
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She is about 5'4" and weighed 55 - 60kg - now about 64kg
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meow...
Cool stories and good advice...not that I'm gonna find me a bodybuilding girlfriend in this life, but nice to read about it.
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However I've noticed just recently that Insta**** is the place to make an approach. That is, if your own profile doesn't has SCHMOE written all over it.
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However I've noticed just recently that Inst@gram is the place to make an approach. That is, if your own profile doesn't has SCHMOE written all over it.
I agree! That is where I met my wife (3.5 years ago). She is a 5'11 muscular model ....but more on that later.
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treat her like a "normal" woman like you should treat all woman: be interesting,intelligent,witty ,respectful,
show interest !.......(so as "usual",when you aproach women ...)
but ,you must say , if you are at least not very fit ,better also muscular & interested in power sports that
will become quite difficult .....!?
And ,in my experience these strong women is ,they appreciate mostly a man as partner who is STRONGERthen them,(at least physically ),that`s the truth !..
(and not like in these modern fantasies where weak schmoes always meet much stronger woman ,and then
become their loves slaves .......that`s quite erotic ,but not reality in relationships,but you can live it in session plots anyway.....)
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To me they're all pretty different and crave different things in a man. Some of them have been athletic their entire lives and probably want to be with exclusively fit and athletic men. Anything else is unacceptable. No average guys, thin guys...they have a template and they stick to it.
The FBB's that sort of accidentally fell into it, who never played sports, who started going to the gym perhaps after an accident or bad breakup, or perhaps just to lose 20 lbs and find out they wanna be huge, their tastes vary. They may like muscles on themselves, but are indifferent about it on a significant other.
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OP thank you for sharing your experiences, many of them mirror mine. I have found that many of these girls like to experiment with men of different races but are not comfortable pursuing long term or public relationships with them. It may be due to family pressures, different cultures, stereotypes, society, or public perceptions but it makes longer term relationships more difficult. In the short term it is great, they love to experiment but in the long term they shy away. I do have a handful of secret lovers that always come back for more in the bedroom but do not want more than that.
You are a good writer and I hope you share ore of your eperiences
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As they say, not all heroes wear capes and you sir definitely are one!
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OP thank you for sharing your experiences, many of them mirror mine. I have found that many of these girls like to experiment with men of different races but are not comfortable pursuing long term or public relationships with them. It may be due to family pressures, different cultures, stereotypes, society, or public perceptions but it makes longer term relationships more difficult. In the short term it is great, they love to experiment but in the long term they shy away. I do have a handful of secret lovers that always come back for more in the bedroom but do not want more than that.
You are a good writer and I hope you share ore of your eperiences
Thanks for the encouragement. I also experienced a reluctance of some FBBs to publicly acknowledge the relationship, but there were some exceptions. I don't think the reluctance was specifically related to cultural differences, but more so they wanted to be with someone they could 'show off', such as a male bodybuilder. The secret lover issue is one that is interesting and I have also experienced something like that. Thanks for sharing.
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To me they're all pretty different and crave different things in a man. Some of them have been athletic their entire lives and probably want to be with exclusively fit and athletic men. Anything else is unacceptable. No average guys, thin guys...they have a template and they stick to it.
The FBB's that sort of accidentally fell into it, who never played sports, who started going to the gym perhaps after an accident or bad breakup, or perhaps just to lose 20 lbs and find out they wanna be huge, their tastes vary. They may like muscles on themselves, but are indifferent about it on a significant other.
Yes its good news I think that FBBs are as different as the schmoes who admire them. Hopefully there is someone for everyone, but sadly we schmoes outnumber the FBBs by a large margin.
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treat her like a "normal" woman like you should treat all woman: be interesting,intelligent,witty ,respectful,
show interest !.......(so as "usual",when you aproach women ...)
but ,you must say , if you are at least not very fit ,better also muscular & interested in power sports that
will become quite difficult .....!?
And ,in my experience these strong women is ,they appreciate mostly a man as partner who is STRONGERthen them,(at least physically ),that`s the truth !..
(and not like in these modern fantasies where weak schmoes always meet much stronger woman ,and then
become their loves slaves .......that`s quite erotic ,but not reality in relationships,but you can live it in session plots anyway.....)
Yes I agree with you the weak schmoe being the love slave of the stronger woman is more fantasy than reality. There are a few real-life examples of FBBs married to weaker guys, but only a few.
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Female bodybuilders always have bodybuilder boyfriends for one simple reason: they share mutual interests. At least as far as sport is concerned.
With a "normal" man do not have that link. They look for a person with whom they can talk about what they like.
Of course there are exceptions, but few. Very few. Generally, they run into maniacs (who call themselves fans) who only seek to see those magnificent bodies they have. But they ignore the person. The woman.
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Female bodybuilders always have bodybuilder boyfriends for one simple reason: they share mutual interests. At least as far as sport is concerned.
With a "normal" man do not have that link. They look for a person with whom they can talk about what they like.
Of course there are exceptions, but few. Very few. Generally, they run into maniacs (who call themselves fans) who only seek to see those magnificent bodies they have. But they ignore the person. The woman.
I agree with your reasoning, and this reveals opportunities and areas to avoid. For me an opportunity were the chance to develop a further interest in fitness and muscle building, without the goal of competing in a contest. In this way, my interests grew to align with hers. An area to avoid, however, is becoming a paying customer of any kind, as that introduces an unhealthy motivator in a relationship. You don't want to end up being seen as a loaf of bread.
Another opportunity is to find a FBB who regards bodybuilding as a hobby rather than a life fixation. For example, someone who has career other than a bodybuilding related career (including personal training etc). The influence of bodybuilding on so many areas of life, however, does often lead to an obsession with an 'all or nothing' approach. So if you have more 'balanced' interests, look for a FBB who is similar in terms of balanced interests.
The other area to avoid is trying to advise your bodybuilding partner on ...bodybuilding. Although you may acquire a lot of knowledge, when she looks at you and then looks at herself, whose advice is she going to follow? Unless you are some kind of master coach, let her advise you and just be an emotional, practical and financial supporter of her pursuit.
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Female bodybuilders always have bodybuilder boyfriends for one simple reason: they share mutual interests. At least as far as sport is concerned.
With a "normal" man do not have that link. They look for a person with whom they can talk about what they like.
Of course there are exceptions, but few. Very few. Generally, they run into maniacs (who call themselves fans) who only seek to see those magnificent bodies they have. But they ignore the person. The woman.
Female bodybuilders have push and pull factors which both attract and repel them viz a viz male bodybuilders.
The attraction factors are obvious: mutual interests and the man's physique. All things being equal, women do want a man who's bigger, stronger and more muscular, and who can let them feel like the woman in the relationship no matter how big they are.
I will add that the attraction to male muscle is not unbounded and most "normal" women find extreme male bodybuilders sincerely off putting, but an almost-as-extreme female has a different perspective on size.
The repulsion factors may seem more nuanced, but they can impact quite strongly.
For a start, bodybuildng is such a narcissistic lifestyle that having two of them in a relationship introduces quite a lot of tensions. Both of them want their training, their diet, their body and their physical development to be centre stage and both of them need continuous affirmation. And they're too busy and needy about seeking it to give it.
A second factor, which is more pronounced from the female viewpoint, is frustration at not having their abilities recognised, despite being at the top of their game.
I remember reading a blog by a strength training coach (whose lifting stats far exceeded mine and most men) and she said she was fed up with weightlifting boyfriends condescending to her, trying to give her inferior advice (she knew more about diet and physio, regardless of her muscle size) and generally not giving her the recognition and support she felt she deserved. She swore she wasn't going to go out with another male lifter.
So there are reasons why muscular women might broaden their search beyond the stereotypical muscleman. But, none of those reasons incude "Oh, I'd love a wimpy skinny man whom I can scissor, bench press and dominate at well".
That's a schmoe fantasy and absolutely no woman seeks that out as a preference. That's not to say they won't end up with a smaller weaker man, but that won't be the reason they ended up together and they'd regard the strength difference in the relationship as no big deal. At best something to tease him about ... and yeah, at crucial moments they might really enjoy being in control.
Ok, if muscular women don't insist on their male partner being a muscule bound Adonis, does that mean it's a free for all and some wimp with a concave chest and flabby belly is in with a chance, so long as they clicked on another level?
No, absolutely not!!
Highly trained women (and I mean weightlifters and cross-fitters as well as bodybuilders) do at least want a man who's physically in shape. Somebody who's lean and capable and has some level of training and discipline in is life, even if nowhere near her level.
Imagine a gender-flipped scenario of a male bodybuilder admring a figure woman.
Imagine Alina Popa or similiar with a David Beckham style man ...
The more medium-sized women weight lifters who are just on the verge of overtaking the majority of the male population probably still fantasize mainly about bigger stronger men, and arrogantly dismiss all "civilians" who don't live in their extreme world, but the really big women have long been forced to accept that they need to cast their net a lot wider (since they rarely meet men as strong as them) and they've long grown blase and indifferent to the fact they're bigger than most men.
They just want a fit man, not a bigger man. They may end up dominating him, but that's not their driving fantasy.
So how to date an FBB?
There is no one way, it's a silly question. But just to be eligible, you have to hit the gym. You don't need to be anywhere near as bug as them, but you need to work on your proportion and maybe above all, your abs and glutes.
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Female bodybuilders always have bodybuilder boyfriends for one simple reason: they share mutual interests. At least as far as sport is concerned.
With a "normal" man do not have that link. They look for a person with whom they can talk about what they like.
Of course there are exceptions, but few. Very few. Generally, they run into maniacs (who call themselves fans) who only seek to see those magnificent bodies they have. But they ignore the person. The woman.
Female bodybuilders have push and pull factors which both attract and repel them viz a viz male bodybuilders.
The attraction factors are obvious: mutual interests and the man's physique. All things being equal, women do want a man who's bigger, stronger and more muscular, and who can let them feel like the woman in the relationship no matter how big they are.
I will add that the attraction to male muscle is not unbounded and most "normal" women find extreme male bodybuilders sincerely off putting, but an almost-as-extreme female has a different perspective on size.
The repulsion factors may seem more nuanced, but they can impact quite strongly.
For a start, bodybuildng is such a narcissistic lifestyle that having two of them in a relationship introduces quite a lot of tensions. Both of them want their training, their diet, their body and their physical development to be centre stage and both of them need continuous affirmation. And they're too busy and needy about seeking it to give it.
A second factor, which is more pronounced from the female viewpoint, is frustration at not having their abilities recognised, despite being at the top of their game.
I remember reading a blog by a strength training coach (whose lifting stats far exceeded mine and most men) and she said she was fed up with weightlifting boyfriends condescending to her, trying to give her inferior advice (she knew more about diet and physio, regardless of her muscle size) and generally not giving her the recognition and support she felt she deserved. She swore she wasn't going to go out with another male lifter.
So there are reasons why muscular women might broaden their search beyond the stereotypical muscleman. But, none of those reasons incude "Oh, I'd love a wimpy skinny man whom I can scissor, bench press and dominate at well".
That's a schmoe fantasy and absolutely no woman seeks that out as a preference. That's not to say they won't end up with a smaller weaker man, but that won't be the reason they ended up together and they'd regard the strength difference in the relationship as no big deal. At best something to tease him about ... and yeah, at crucial moments they might really enjoy being in control.
Ok, if muscular women don't insist on their male partner being a muscule bound Adonis, does that mean it's a free for all and some wimp with a concave chest and flabby belly is in with a chance, so long as they clicked on another level?
No, absolutely not!!
Highly trained women (and I mean weightlifters and cross-fitters as well as bodybuilders) do at least want a man who's physically in shape. Somebody who's lean and capable and has some level of training and discipline in is life, even if nowhere near her level.
Imagine a gender-flipped scenario of a male bodybuilder admring a figure woman.
Imagine Alina Popa or similiar with a David Beckham style man ...
The more medium-sized women weight lifters who are just on the verge of overtaking the majority of the male population probably still fantasize mainly about bigger stronger men, and arrogantly dismiss all "civilians" who don't live in their extreme world, but the really big women have long been forced to accept that they need to cast their net a lot wider (since they rarely meet men as strong as them) and they've long grown blase and indifferent to the fact they're bigger than most men.
They just want a fit man, not a bigger man. They may end up dominating him, but that's not their driving fantasy.
So how to date an FBB?
There is no one way, it's a silly question. But just to be eligible, you have to hit the gym. You don't need to be anywhere near as bug as them, but you need to work on your proportion and maybe above all, your abs and glutes.
I agree with your conclusions and analysis, especially with regards to how many FBBs see MBBs and strength athletes. Domination is almost never a driving factor for relationships, although FBBs have fetishes just like everyone else. Rarely do fetishes align though. As for the FBB preference for leanness, I have seen many examples where the male partner is strong but not lean. As you say, all FBBs are different and partners rarely tick every box on the Wishlist. In the case I described in my story, however，she did indeed express a preference for leanness.
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This is a nice story .
I wana add, that if you guys love muscular women, you have to think like "this is just normal" and being confortable with it.
That being said, a muscular woman is still ... well ... a woman!
They love to laugh, and make new stuff...
I d say, be normal , dont change the way you are...
Be honnest, be polite, be the guy she can count on for years (even if she decide no too go further).
I not saying that you must be "her best good friend", dont fall into that category.
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This is a nice story .
I wana add, that if you guys love muscular women, you have to think like "this is just normal" and being confortable with it.
That being said, a muscular woman is still ... well ... a woman!
They love to laugh, and make new stuff...
I d say, be normal , dont change the way you are...
Be honnest, be polite, be the guy she can count on for years (even if she decide no too go further).
I not saying that you must be "her best good friend", dont fall into that category.
Thanks for your positive feedback and I agree with all that you have said. I do think character wins over everything else, because that's the person you live with beyond the superficial things in life.
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Hey Expat manager, why are you "expatmanager?" As an ex property manager moving back to Cambodia, I wonder if you're a more successful, parallel version of me.
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Hey Expat manager, why are you "expatmanager?" As an ex property manager moving back to Cambodia, I wonder if you're a more successful, parallel version of me.
Lol. Somehow the internet name stuck from a project I worked on years ago. Ironically I am writing this from Myanmar (Burma) but only here for a couple of days. Hope all goes well for you in Cambodia.