Girl totally fed up with her boyfriend’s stupid expression comes up with one of her own.
Cathy had been dating Allen for a couple months, things were going well, but his constant use of tired, old and outright stupid expressions was making her nuts. Instead of answering in the positive to a simple yes or no question, he’d always say something like “Is the Pope Catholic?” and then laugh like it’s the first time he’d heard or said it, while Cathy would roll her eyes in disgust.
One night at her place, after Allen had a few beers, he was especially obnoxious. She asked if he wanted another beer as they sat on the couch watching Monday Night Football and he grinned and said, “Does the bear shit in the woods?”
“Allen, please, I’ve told you about those stupid expressions, enough’s enough, will you PLEASE just say yes or no?” she groaned. “Will you PLEASE???”
“Aw, that’s funny, Cath, funny as a screen door in a submarine,” he grinned. “You know me, just tryin’ to make you laugh.”
“But you’re making me nuts!” she growled. “You just gotta stop answering EVERY fucking thing I say with some lame expression!”
He just laughed it off and went to get his own beer while Cathy stewed on the couch, concocting a plan. Slowly she pulled up the pant legs of her sweat pants to her knees. One thing about the athletic 23-year-old brunette, she had awesome legs, especially in the calves, guys and women always made comments about them. Tanned from the summer sun and creamy smooth, they were also fiercely muscled from years of working out, slender ankles below diamond-shaped calves, jagged fists of steely muscle that bulged sexily when she walked. Allen loved her calves and went nuts when Cathy would clamp his cock between them to milk him dry, a trick he’d never been shown before by any woman.
But she had other tricks her calves could do that Allen knew nothing about – but was about to learn.
He plopped himself down on the couch beside her and noticed her pulling her pant legs up. He groaned and reached for her calves, but she giggled and pushed his hands away.
“Allen, I’ve got great calves, right?” she cooed.
“Mmmm, baby, is a pig’s ass pork?” he sighed as Cathy lifted her big calves up and plopped them on his lap.
“You love ‘em?” she asked with a sexy snarl. “You love my big, muscular calves, my sexy, hard thighs? You love my legs, baby?”
“Oh, honey, is the sky blue, is an Indian’s ass red, do dogs do it doggy style?” he moaned as she tensed her calf muscles down into his crotch, his hard dick rubbing against them.
Cathy laughed and leaned back against the couch, hands above her head.
“And do I have killer legs, baby?”
“Sweetheart, is orange juice orange, do baby’s cry, is my dick HARD?” he cried out, thrusting his dick into her calves through his pants.
“Wanna see what my legs can do?”
“Does….” Allen started to say.
But Cathy cut him off quickly by whipping her chiseled calves up and slamming them around his neck, catching him by total surprise and scissoring any stupid words from him as he croaked in pain. She laced her gigantic right calf across his windpipe, nearly cracking it in half, her other mammoth lower leg encircling the back of his neck, her sneaker-clad feet twisting together on the other side of his head. She leaned up on her hands and squeezed hard, glowering down at him as she did.
“Now, does that fucking HURT?” she screamed. “And if you say ANYTHING except yes, I swear you’ll find out WHY I got killer legs, Allen! Does it HURT?”
She let up slightly to let him speak.
“Shit, Cathy, what the fuck?” he groaned.
“Not what I wanted to hear,” she barked and slapped her calves back onto his throat.
Allen couldn’s submit orally so tight was the squeeze, so he waved his hands frantically in the air, after giving up on the idea of trying to pull her meaty lower legs off his throat. She eased up slightly to ask again.
“Does it hurt?”
“YES, if fucking hurts!” he shouted, twisting to the side now in the little bit of wiggle room she’d given him, facing her. “Please, let go!”
“You gonna use any more stupid expressions Allen?” she barked down into his face, letting her big calves chew now at the sides of his neck.
“Cathy, you know me and these things, I’m just trying to be funny,” he moaned. “I’ve been doing it my whole life.”
“And that life,” she hissed through clenched teeth, tightening her frightening calves now on the sides of his neck. “Is about to come to a fucking END if you don’t quit the SHIT!”
He screamed in agony as Cathy bucked up off the couch on her hands, thrusting her slim hips up and snap-scissoring her giant calves into the sides of his neck. His ears were being crushed in their meaty grip, the muscles of them spreading from his shoulders to his skull, and the chiseled interiors of them knifing painfully into the sides of his neck.
“I’m gonna knock you out in my calves, Allen, and when you wake up, you WILL be shed of that stupid habit of yours, at least around me, right?” she snarled.
“Please…don’t….don’t knock..me out…” he protested as she now vibrated her lower legs, snapping them against the sides of his neck, head and face until his teeth chattered.
She laughed and now slipped her giant calves down a bit, so the bones of her shin had him flush on the sides of the neck, the meat of her muscular lower legs pinched around his throat. In that position, her calves chewed mercilessly at him and completely stopped the flow of blood to his brain, her scissors on full. He slumped instantly in her crushing calf scissors and passed out cold.
“Gets them every time,” she sighed, releasing the scissors and letting him sleep on the couch next to him.
When he awoke, his neck burned but now his whole head ached. He focused on two massive limbs surrounding his head; Cathy had peeled off her sweats and sat him on the floor to capture his skull in a crushing headscissors with her huge, muscular thighs and was squeezing him hard.
“Have you learned your lesson?” she sneered behind him, back arched, thighs pounding against the sides of his aching skull.
“YESYESYESYES!!!” he screamed. “PLEASE!!!”
Over and over she made him submit to the headscissors, twisting him finally to face her and mashing his mouth and nose to her crotch to lather the sides of his head with her muscle-bursting thigh for a front facescissors. Arching her back she glared down into his face as it emitted a muffled but genuine scream of agony from the meaty maw of her punishing thick thighs.
“Gonna stop using all those stupid expressions?” she asked.
“Yessssh,” he slurred, about to pass out again from her leggy crush. “Pleash…Cathy…I won’t do it…no more….you’re not gonna…do this anymore….are you???”
She smiled darkly and opened her meaty thighs just so he could hear, holding his ears and bending forward to snarl into his red face.
“Do I have killer legs?” she said by way of answering his question before thundering her thighs shut on his head again and snapping the scissors on full, knocking him out seconds later.
When he awoke, he never answered her questions with stupid expressions again. ANd she never stopped using her killer legs on him.
The End
