Intimacy

[jessicatheviking]

Hi, just the start of a new story! Hope you enjoy!

--

Our marriage was actually wonderful but it was also a little predictable. Both Haven and I were hungry to learn and explore and grow. Even though we loved each other deeply, it seemed like something was missing. Our sex was wonderful but it still felt like there could be more. After we had done a lot of research and tried a lot of new things Haven said, “You know, Remy, what if we tried couples sex therapy? Maybe a good therapist could help us to sort out what is missing. Please, don’t get me wrong, I love you and our lives are wonderful but I just feel that we deserve to have more if it’s there.”. I smiled, “I think you might be right, I mean, I thought we could figure this out on our own but maybe we do need help.”.

[jessicatheviking]

Hello, just finished the next part! Enjoy!

--

Soon we had selected a therapist that came with glowing reviews. Allyn was wonderful. She was such a great listener and helped us to appreciate that we didn’t necessarily have a “problem” but just some growing pains. That really put us at ease and helped us to focus on growing as a couple. After a few sessions to help Allyn to get the full picture of us and our situation, they said, “So after hearing what you’ve said and really thinking about it, it sounds like you want more intimacy. I know that might sound strange because you two are very intimate, at least according to what is commonly promoted in our culture. The thing that has continually intrigued me since we had our first session though, is that you both seem like, how can I say this? You both seem like you’re playing roles in your relationship that might not exactly be you.” We were a little confused but Allyn continued, “I want to reassure you that you have a great foundation to your relationship. You have developed some great tools and apply them very well but like you said there does seem to be something missing that would make your relationship even better. We won’t be able to know what that is until we simply do some exploring, which you two seem more than up for.” We both nodded in agreement. Allyn smiled, “Excellent. I would like to try a therapeutic method called Psychodrama. I know the name is a little full on but it can be very effective. It was developed almost 100 years ago by an Eastern European psychiatrist. The specific part of Psychodrama that I would like for you to try is Role Reversal. Now, I know that the term Role Reversal might seem familiar in common speak but in a therapeutic setting it is a very powerful tool that is much more in depth. In order to “look at you with your eyes,” each of you will be directed to switch seats and play the role of the other. This will help you to gain a much deeper understanding of each other and increase empathy. It has been proven to be especially effective when couples feel like they’re stuck at a certain place in their relationship, which is what I’m hearing from you. I feel confident that you can see how this would likely increase intimacy in a relationship. So what do you think? Is this something you would like to try?”. We both smiled, “That sounds great, when do we start?”.

[scarecrow]

Interesting premise, well written (grammar, spelling, pacing). But you really need to use new lines to separate paragraphs. It's really tough parsing the words when they are all in one big block like this.

[bertmacklinsbrother]

I always love a good role reversal story.  I'm really looking forward to seeing how this turns out!  Nice work so far

[jessicatheviking]

Hey bmb, thanks for the encouragement!

Scarecrow, I'm trying to learn how to break things up better, especially dialog. Thanks for the suggestion!

Everyone, here's the next part, enjoy!

--

In our beginning session, Haven volunteered to go first. We had been sitting in seats facing each other and now swapped. She was now role playing as me and I as her.

Allyn said, “Ok Remy, so how do you feel about Haven?”.

Haven playing me said, “I love her so much and I try to show it everyday.”.

Allyn asked, “How do you try to show your love for Haven?”.

Haven playing me said, “I work hard to be supportive and to provide for our needs even though it isn’t necessarily always what I would like to do.”.

Allyn probed further, “What do you mean when you said it isn’t always what you would like to do?”.

Haven playing me said, “It’s just that my work isn’t always very fulfilling. Don’t get me wrong, I gladly do it to bring in income for us, but my passion is in cooking and things like that. Even after coming home from work I love to help out in the kitchen, even if it’s just helping with the dishes. It’s where I love to be. I understand what you meant by me playing a role that isn’t really, ‘me’. I mean our culture says that I should be the breadwinner, but honestly I would rather be making the bread.”.

I couldn’t believe it. Haven had completely captured exactly how I felt.

Allyn now turned to me playing Haven.

“So Haven, are these things you’ve observed in Remy too?”.

Me playing Haven said, “Yes, um, yes I have. I guess it’s easy to get caught up in our seemingly assigned roles even if they don’t really fit. Don’t get me wrong I truly appreciate everything Remy does for us but I just wish he wouldn’t sacrifice his own happiness for it.”.

Allyn probed further, “So what do you think might be better roles for you and Remy?”.

I took a deep breath and spoke as Haven, “Well, I am college educated, bright and talented and have been wanting to get back to work for a long time. I would love to be able to support us and for Remy to start really embracing his passion and take on the cooking and other household work.”.

Allyn smiled and turned to Haven playing me and asked, “Remy, is that how you feel as well?”.

Haven playing me said, “Absolutely. I would love that.”.

Haven and I couldn’t believe just how profound the session was. These were things we had both felt for a very long time but because of the rut we were in, we just couldn’t say out loud. This was the beginning of some big changes for us.

[jessicatheviking]

Hi, next part!

--

When we got home we had a really deep talk about our lives moving forward. During that discussion it was clear that Haven was no longer afraid to express her opinions. In fact, she was already embracing a much more assertive role in our relationship.

Haven spoke, “So, I really meant the things I said as I role played you. I don’t want you to sacrifice your happiness for us. Especially since I am more than capable of supporting us. If I’m being really open about the subject, it frustrates me that you have pushed back on me about this. But I’m also so proud of you for finally seeing that we need to make changes. I know that our culture puts a lot of pressure on you to be some sort of ideal ‘man’. The thing is, I love you as a person and I feel that you accepting your new role won’t make you less of a ‘man’, it will make you a more beautiful person to me and I think that you will feel better about yourself too.”

I was overwhelmed with emotion. In the past I never would have been this vulnerable to Haven but now I felt that I needed this release and that for the first time I would let Haven comfort me the way that I truly needed. I started crying. I mean full on ugly crying. I just couldn’t hold it back anymore.

As Haven took me in her arms I completely broke down and said, “I’m so sorry I’ve been fighting this for so long. You are absolutely right. You are more than capable of supporting us and I have been pushing back because I felt like that’s what I’m ‘supposed’ to do. You are a strong, amazing woman and I love that about you. So, I’m letting go. What do we do next?”.

[phil123]

Now her growing starts. Well written +k

[Ascalon]

I'm enjoying where this story is going nice work

[jessicatheviking]

Hey! Thanks for the compliments!

Here is the next part!

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Haven smiled, “Remy, I’m so proud of you. I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you for a very long time. You don’t have to worry anymore, I love you and I’m going to take very good care of you. After looking at our financial situation we have enough savings for you to quit your job right away. With you here taking care of the house it will free up time for me to pursue some job leads that have come up recently. Remy, I’m really excited about this.”

I smiled, “I’m really excited about this too. I’ll put in my two weeks tomorrow. Thank you Haven, you’re amazing.”.

Haven looked at me, clearly turned on, and said, “I want you so bad right now.”.

I smiled and started putting my usual moves on her but she stopped me.

She said, “You said you’re letting go. Just relax and let me take the wheel.”.

I smiled, “Ok. You’re right.”.

Haven took over and started kissing me and put me on my back. As things progressed it was clear that the intimacy between us had increased a lot. With her taking charge it was so much more sensual and I felt connected to her more than ever. I loved it and craved more.

The next day I put in my two week notice at work. I thought I would be a lot more nervous but I actually felt relieved. Haven’s job search was going very well and within a week she found a job she liked that would let her work from home and she would start at twice what I was making. I thought I would be intimidated by that but I was actually really turned on by it. Haven was too.

Haven smiled, “So, how do you feel about all of these changes?”.

I smiled, “I have to admit that I thought I would be intimidated but I’m just not. Our new roles feel right and the fact that you’re starting out making twice as much as me shows that this is the right move. You’re going to do amazing.”.

She smiled, “I’m so glad to hear you say that. I love seeing how you are more excited lately and already making plans for when you takeover the housework. Not gonna lie, I’m getting really turned on by you becoming my househusband. Are you ok with me calling you that?”.

I bit my lip, “Um, I was really hoping you would.”.

Soon Haven had started her new job and I was now doing all of the housework and loving it. I poured myself into learning new cooking techniques and stepping up my abilities to make really great meals for us.

A couple of months into our new roles Haven sat down for dinner one evening and after taking a bite she was like, “Holy hell, Remy this is sooo delicious. You are so amazing.”.

I smiled, “I’m glad you like it. So, it seems like things are going really well with your job. Are you liking it?”.

She grinned, “I’m loving it and I’m loving being the breadwinner now. In fact I’m already up for a big raise.”.

I was like, “That’s so awesome. You are so amazing. Thank you for taking over supporting us.”.

She said, “You’re welcome. I love doing it and I loooove your cooking househusband.”.

[wowser1016]

This is really an interesting approach with a complete role reversal dynamic. Quite enjoyable and I am already wondering about how you will work the story into the genre of this site. Good job!

[jessicatheviking]

Hey wowser, thanks for the compliment!

Here is the next part!

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That week we had a regularly scheduled session with Allyn.

She asked, “So, how have things been going with your intimacy since embracing your new roles?”.

Haven was more assertive now and went first, “It’s been amazing but I dunno, it feels like there’s still something missing. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love that Remy is my househusband and that I’m the breadwinner now. It feels good, it feels right and I feel like our intimacy has increased. But like I said it still feels like there’s something there that could make all of this even more fulfilling”.

Allyn replied, “Ok, that’s understandable. This is a step by step process. Goals usually aren’t reached in a giant leap so it’s ok to acknowledge the positive progress and identify areas for improvement. This is actually very good.”.

Allyn turned to me and said, “Ok, now it’s your turn.”.

I was a little nervous but I wanted to trust the process.

Embracing my evolving personality since our changes I said, “I agree. This has been an amazing process. I love that Haven is the breadwinner now and I love being her househusband. The intimacy has increased dramatically. Speaking openly and trusting this process I feel that there’s something missing too. I think that we’ve already become comfortable with our changes and that we want more.”.

Allyn smiled, “Excellent. That is what I’m hearing from both of you as well. I think that it is also very healthy that while Haven was primarily pushing for change at first that you, Remy, are identifying areas for improvement and pushing for change now too. This is very good. The challenge will be clearly defining exactly what the ‘more’ is that you both want.”.

To explore things further Allyn had us engage in another Role Reversal session. With seats facing each other we again would try to look at each other through the other person's eyes.

Smiling Allyn said, “Ok, so this time I think it would be good for Remy to go first. You’ve expressed an insight that may be valuable to helping both of you proceed forward.”.

I took a deep breath, “Ok.”.

This was something I had really been thinking about a lot especially since I had more time at home and could take the time to reflect on our changes since Haven had began supporting us.

Nervously I began speaking as Haven, “I love our new roles and Remy is doing so amazing with his new role. I love how our intimacy is increasing and I love being the breadwinner now. All of this has led to me wanting to take a more assertive role during sex and intimacy in general. Remy has been responding to me trying to be more assertive but I’m getting frustrated because, well, I’m physically weaker and can’t do the things that I really want to do with him. I want to become the physically stronger one.”.

Haven gasped, “Holy shit, I do.”.

[jessicatheviking]

Hello! Next part, enjoy!

--

Allyn grinned, “Very good Remy. This is exactly what we hope will come from these Role Reversal sessions. It doesn’t necessarily provide concrete answers but it can provide insights and you have vocalized a very valuable insight. So, Haven, now it’s your turn to speak as Remy.”.

Haven took a very deep breath and paused while thinking over what she would say. It was a really long time before she spoke. Eventually her eyes lit up and she was ready to start.

Haven, speaking as me said, “I love my new role in our relationship, I really do. I love pouring myself into the housework and I even love how Haven calls me her househusband now. Her assertiveness is intoxicating and I love it when she takes charge. I would love even more of that. Since Haven took over supporting us though, I also love indulging in self-care. At first it was just manis and pedis but before long I moved on to spa treatments and shopping for cute clothes. I love looking sexy for Haven and it frustrates me that I can’t seem to take things further to be even sexier for her. It makes me really nervous but I’m starting to think that I’m becoming more of a housewife than a househusband and I really like it.”.

I gasped, “Holy fuck, I do want to be the housewife.”.

[jessicatheviking]

Hi, next part is here!

--

At this point even Allyn was taken back, “Ok, well then, um, so let’s regroup and unpack all of this. We’ve established that you both want to take things much further. Um, so how about we start with Haven. Remy, speaking as you, expressed an insight that you would like to be the physically stronger one in the relationship. How do you feel about that?”.

Haven took a deep breath and said, “I mean, um, wow, I um, I’ve had these feelings that I didn’t know how to express but once Remy said them out loud it resonated down to the very core of my being. I, um, wow, I… I… I really do want to be physically stronger than Remy.”.

Allyn was so amazing and smiled, “Ok, so Remy provided an insight that enabled you, Haven, to express a truth that you previously didn’t quite know how to articulate. This is excellent progress. Let’s lean into the process a little and follow up with Remy. Remy, how do you feel about Haven’s desire to be the physically stronger one in the relationship?”.

Up until this point I had been able to be strong and a little stoic, which fit with my past personality. Now though, I completely lost my shit.

I started full on ugly crying and said in between sobs, “I… I… I’ve wanted this for a really long time. I… [sniffle] I’ve been trying to keep my shit together to be strong for Haven but the truth is I just can’t do it anymore. I… [sobbing] I… [sobbing more intensely] I need for her to take care of me now. I… I… need for her to be the physically stronger one now.”.

Allyn motioned to Haven and she slid her chair over next to mine and putting her arm around me began to comfort me. It was incredible and fulfilled me on a level that I didn’t even know existed within me. Allyn left us to be in that moment and truly begin to bond with each other on a level that we never had been able to before. I had never felt more intimate with Haven before that moment and it was amazing.

Smiling Allyn said, “Wow, this is incredible. In my 15 years of therapy I’ve never seen a breakthrough as profound as this. How about we call it a day and you two have yourselves a nice evening and discuss what has happened here today?”.

We both agreed and left the session.

[jessicatheviking]

Hello, next part!

--

We went home and didn’t say a word to each other. It was difficult but eventually Haven spoke.

“Babe, are you ok?”.

I just cried, “What do you mean, ok? I’m a fucking mess.”.

Staring at her I said, “If this is what you really want, then you need to fucking take care of me!
Taking me into her arms she said, “It’s okay babe, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I will always protect you, you’re safe now.”.

Snuggling into her arms I felt so safe. “Thanks babe, thank you so much. I know it’s an adjustment but I need for you to keep me safe and protected.”.

Haven smiled, “You’re right, I do need to keep you safe and protected.”.

We decided to Netflix and chill for the evening. Laying in Haven’s muscular arms felt so amazing. I hated that I had to pull the safety card but I needed Haven to know that I really liked her but also needed to be kept safe from all of the new viruses coming in.

"Haven, I need you to comfort me, protect me and keep me safe. If you can’t do that then what the fuck are we doing here?”.

Haven took a step back. Looking at our situation she finally got the role reversal that was happening.

[Tikka1910]

Very nice story that slowly evolves. Carry on!