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Forum Saradas  |  Private Sessions  |  Warnings for Private Sessions & Scammers and Complaints  |  My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale - Misfit Layla Mikayla [Tess Stump
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Author Topic: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale - Misfit Layla Mikayla [Tess Stump  (Read 11546 times)

Offline Tmark

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My purpose was to offer the athlete a large enough sponsorship to allow her to confidently plan her pro card campaign - to win. ($65,000) But she committed fraud by misrepresenting her situation, securing additional funds for a very specific purpose. Then she used my funds to facilitate certain activities in direct violation of that purpose, cut me off from her campaign, and took active and threatening steps to prevent me from organizing a meeting to bring her to account.

I’m not saying don’t sponsor. I’m saying don’t lose sight of why. I committed far more than originally planned because I believed in what I thought she stood for, and allowed myself to be responsible for her welfare. The only comfort is that my support enabled her to get her pro card. But this was a horrendous experience and I hope by sharing no one else has to go through this.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”


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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2019, 10:07:21 pm »
No names.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2019, 03:11:38 am »

"My purpose was to offer the athlete a large enough sponsorship to allow her to confidently plan her pro card campaign - to win"

and

"my support enabled her to get her pro card"

You gave her money for a purpose and your support helped her to reach the goal.  You should be happy, right?

I think a reasonable person can see that you have cherry-picked what I wrote and papered over the real issue.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

Offline Bernie1212

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2019, 06:07:05 am »

"My purpose was to offer the athlete a large enough sponsorship to allow her to confidently plan her pro card campaign - to win"

and

"my support enabled her to get her pro card"

You gave her money for a purpose and your support helped her to reach the goal.  You should be happy, right?

I think a reasonable person can see that you have cherry-picked what I wrote and papered over the real issue.
He put it cut and dry without the human element.

That being said, you mentioned that there where elements of fraud etc.  Was there a contract written?  Was the money to go to something very specific or was it "whatever you need to get you to the pro card"?  It seems like a situation where her reality did not meet your expectations.  That happens in life, and it sucks.  I have been there before, not in a sponsorship type situation, but in life in general.  If our expectations are not clearly defined and/or reasonable it is impossible for anyone to live up to them.
Yo.

Offline bruce321

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2019, 01:25:05 pm »
Your post is vague to the point of being meaningless. I'm envisioning some kind of situation like she told you she couldn't afford a posing suit, supplements, and travel expenses to her show, and a few weeks after you forked over a couple of grand, she's posting pics of herself and the BF she never mentioned having, enjoying an expensive vacation. I could see your point if something like that happened, but you need to provide some details. As long as you don't use her name, there shouldn't be any harm in fully telling your story.

Offline docarsenal

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2019, 01:54:20 pm »
Can you DM her name people should know she could scam other people
User is currently banned [View]

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2019, 05:01:50 pm »
These are all good and fair questions/comments.  And yes I am reluctant to share too much detail despite the anonymity, really just wanted to focus on the key learning. But I guess the message is lost. So let me try this: yes, there was a contract, and yes, she failed to meet her deminimus requirements (my only expectation being to share in the journey).

But the real issue related to the additional funding request that I mentioned, which was to allow her to eliminate certain distractions.  The nature of how this was represented to me was such that I was making a choice to take on responsibility for her welfare. I did this willingly; in part because I believed it was essential to enabling her, and in part because, had I not, I would have felt awful as I would have been letting her down.  To see her return to these distractions and using my funds in part to enable that - on top of being cut off from her journey - was the real problem.

In totality, my commitments were substantial, enough to cover all her expenses for an extended period. The message I am trying to convey here is the one about deviating from my original purpose and what I exposed myself to as a result.  Hopefully I’ve now provided enough clarity without going any further beyond what I am already uncomfortable sharing.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

Offline bruce321

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2019, 08:42:27 pm »
Job or sessions? Guessing she didn't have a regular job and we're talking sessions. "Bodybuilding is my passion! My dream is to become a pro. But I'm forced to do sessions to live. With the travel, odd hours, and lack of a regular gym, it's impossible to train and diet properly. I'll never achieve my dream! Somebody please save me!" So you did. And then you noticed she was still touring, with new dates being added. Using your money to help her travel to new cities. Yep, I'd be ticked! How close did I get?

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2019, 01:04:26 am »
By the order of Good King Richard the XXII, I have been told you *have* to go into more detail here. 

Apologies but your loyal subject will have to disappoint his majesty!  I’m not prepared to share any more, at least not at this stage.  I hope I’ve shared enough to convey my message.

I will mention one thing.  I chose not to pursue the fraud or threat as I have no desire to see her incarcerated or otherwise pulled through the ringer (unless I am put in a position where I have no choice).  It would achieve nothing.  Either she has the integrity to address her actions and honor her commitments, or she doesn’t.  There is simply no room or time in my life for fake people, irrespective of how much this has set me back.

I appreciate your understanding.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2019, 04:12:58 am »
Ok so I’ve thought long and hard and decided you are all right - it’s a bit meaningless without the detail.  I’m stepping into this as nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and it hasn’t been easy to admit my humiliation and stupidity for putting myself in this position. For what was done to me when I reached out to help a fellow human being.

Yes - it was sessions.  In addition to what I had already committed, she requested additional funds to cover sessions and webcam because too much of her sexuality had been violated. I took this extremely seriously, especially given the deeply personal nature of the request and how critically important it seemed to be for her.  However, it was soon after securing this commitment that she cut me off, declaring things were “too personal” (wtf??), delivered in a deeply insulting fashion. Then she returned to sessions. 

Now, I had also agreed to cover expenses for her two shows, including hotel rooms.  Shows that she knew I was attending to support her.  She used these hotel rooms to advertise sessions. I never had a problem with sessions until she told me what they were supposedly doing to her, so this was pure fraud and was also very distressing on an emotional level, since I really did believe that she was troubled by sessions.  Not to mention the humiliation of actually being at those shows while my funds were being misused in this way.

I wanted to confront the issue but didn’t want to interfere with her pro card prep (yes, I was still putting her well being first).  So I suggested to meet after the second show without saying why.  She denied me that opportunity and instead used her coach to ambush me at the first show, revealing everything about our arrangement and declaring that she had only ever seen me as a schmoe, right there in front of him, despite how much I had done for her. Basically to get me to back off so I wouldn’t be able to bring her to task.

Later, when I did reach out again, she threatened to have me charged with aggravated harassment.  This was the thanks I received for helping her get her pro card, and for agreeing to her request to break her out of a cycle of sexual violation. Never again.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2019, 10:38:43 pm »
Maybe I’m naive but I believe it came from somewhere deeper that I clearly don’t understand, as much as I tried. However, the worst part was being made to feel that I was somehow worse than all those past “violations”.  As a man who prides himself on protecting and looking out for others - and who showed nothing but support, empathy and respect for her and her ambition - this (along with the financial loss) was an absolute nightmare and a source of debilitating anxiety.  Especially when I was the one who stepped in and supported her unconditionally when she had absolutely no support network whatsoever.

I have indeed beaten myself up over what I could have done differently. But it’s my fault. I put myself in the position, and I chose to delay confronting the issue until after her pro campaign instead of tackling head on. After all, if she really did have a problem with me then she wouldn’t have taken the money. In any event, she got what she needed and achieved her ambition, so good luck to her.   

Yes - it’s been incredibly difficult to share this and I’ll probably try and have the thread removed once enough people have heard my story that hopefully it isn’t repeated.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2019, 03:29:43 am »
 Thanks to those have PM’d me. Based on some of your questions, I need to make a few clarifications:

1. No, I will not be divulging names.
2. To be clear, I never had a problem with sessions (or webcam or videos, the other things she asked me to help her step away from).  In fact, I supported her video venture even before offering the sponsorship. But as another example: after asking for these special funds, she flew interstate for an erotic video shoot - after telling me it was for hair extensions for her upcoming show.
3. This is nothing like a professional sponsorship and I had no interest in pursuing the legal path - that would have gone against my purpose and everything I stand for. All I wanted was an adult conversation to understand why. It was up to her to decide whether she had the integrity to do so.  Had she done so, I may well have agreed to continue supporting her.

When I first reached out, she said “I will not let you down.” I invested myself in her vision and gave her everything she said she needed to make meaningful life choices. She was lucky to have someone like me show an interest in her and not pressure her into things she didn’t want to do.  Honestly, no one has let me down more.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

Offline dc3rd

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2019, 04:10:35 am »
All I gather from this is that you tried to buy love hoping that after you sponsored her she would see you for a knight in shining armour and you'd live happily ever after. It is a cautionary tale indeed to not try and buy love. I'm guessing you had to go this route because you yourself may not be in good physical shape so you resorted to this path to snag a bodybuilder.....dust yourself off, learn form the lesson and work harder for a better girl next time.

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2019, 12:53:09 am »
Thanks for taking the time to read and try and help me understand, but this isn’t what it was about.  You can’t buy love (I might have been naive, but not that naive!).  She knew exactly why I sponsored her and where things stood between us, and knew exactly what I expected to get out of it.  But by agreeing to her later fraudulent request, I allowed her to become my responsibility which is when I allowed it to become personal. Which made the truth unbearably painful.

And not that it’s overly relevant, but as well as being successful in my field, I’m super fit and lean, and on a (slow) muscle building journey (no drugs).  And currently, cutting up nicely for my upcoming beach holiday for two ;)
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

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Re: My sponsorship experience - a cautionary tale
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2019, 09:06:41 pm »
No I don’t accept that.  I genuinely sought to help someone that I thought had a true artistry and the potential to change the face of bodybuilding, but no means to get there.  As I said to her at the start, it would have been a crime to see her potential go unrealized but for the “mere” lack of money.

Certainly I expected better than getting treated like shit or for my sponsorship to be treated as a joke.  But at the end of the day, all I really expected was to be acknowledged for my support and allowed to enjoy the end result - her performances and seeing her succeed.  I don’t see that as buying respect, but as a perfectly reasonable expectation given the huge financial layout I made for her.
“Work with integrity, with good intentions, be honest when you are wrong or when you’ve made mistakes because failure is part of the process of success.”

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