This was posted in the old Amazon.admirers.alt forum in 1996 by "Jacob."
It is one of the funniest and very true things I ever read about the sport. Most men (and women) have little idea about how life with their Amazonian fantasy would really be like.
Enjoy!
There've been a lot of posts lately dealing with the perceived hostility between
FBB's and their admirer's. None have actually discussed life with an FBB should
you be fortunate to establish a relationship with one. Here's what you can
expect.
To begin with, you'll probably meet a non-pro FBB. These women compete in the
jr. amateur and amateur competitions, striving to get their pro card. Two
important points to remember here. First, these women have to establish a
pretty awesome physique to participate in amateur competitions. Chances are
your lady love will have been pumping 3 to 5 years or more just to get to this
point. Second, these are amateur competitions, we're not even talking an income
yet.
OK, you've met your lady love and are waltzing down the romance trail. Now you
discover that bodybuilding isn't a sport, an activity, or a hobby. Bodybuilding
is a lifestyle. At the focus of this lifestyle are diet, excercise, and rest.
These three activities will dominate your lady love's life, and yours by extension.
Let's start with diet.
What you eat, how much, and even when you eat are very important when you're a
bodybuilder just for the health of it. If you accept the lifestyle to compete,
then your diet becomes even more important. You'll notice immediately that your
lady love EATS LIKE A FREAKIN' HORSE. She eats and eats and eats and eats.
We're not talking pizza or mexican food here. We're talking racks of broiled
chicken, cans of tuna, sacks of rice, rice cakes, vegetable nibbles like carrots
and celery and a whole slew of supplements that clog your shelves and empty your
pocket book. Every day, day in and day out. Take her to dinner and you'll pay
full price for a chicken plate, but all she'll eat is the chicken. It's the
only thing on her diet. She'll eat can after can of tuna. Not the fancy white
albacore, the cheap greasy kind that's on sale 'cuz she'll eat a lot of it. Be
ready for tuna breath during your most intimate moments.
So she eats like a pig. Some guys have wives like that and all they have to show
for it is a fat wife. You count your blessings and move on. Next you'll notice
that she has to workout 3 to 6 hours a day, 4 to 6 days a week. Tough to fit in
this kind of workout on a 9-5 job (remember she's not making any money competing
yet) I might also point out that your lady love is probably a member of a gym,
not a club. Gyms are serious places, and you'd better expect her to be serious
when she goes there. Unless you participate in the bodybuilding lifestyle with
your lady love you'd be better off not going with her. No half naked girls on
bikes. No aerobicized butts all over the place. Just a warehouse full of iron
and the people who pump it.
OK, OK. You can handle the diet and the workout. No problem. But next you
notice you lady love SLEEPS LIKE A FREAKIN' CAT. This means she seems to sleep
all the time. It's true. An integral part of bodybuilding is rest. Without
adequate rest to let the muscle rebuild you've wasted all you time and effort.
She'll be taking naps every chance she gets. On the one day off per week she
might be able to spare, a lot of it will be spent in bed. You might also notice
during the week that she's "just too tired" to crush your head tonight.
Now having an FBB for an SO is starting to wear a little thin. She can't hold
a 9-5 job 'cuz it gets in the way of her goals. If your lucky she might be a
personal trainer, or she might sell supplements and/or workout clothes. If your
unlucky she'll supplement her income with more seedy occupations. Topless dancer,
Femuscle for hire, or even (god forbid) video posing/wrestling. She also won't
have much time for chores like cleaning, shopping, and cooking. Those will
quickly become your chores. YOU will have to make sure there's a stock of food
for her to eat. YOU will have to clean the living space, wash the clothes, etc.
YOU will have to do the shopping. If you didn't intend to be a slave going in,
you'll be one soon enough.
Some of you may be saying "So what?". Well, you're right. All the above can
be quite tolerable for the most part if you develop a relationship based on love
and trust. But be prepared. Most of you would find the Shmoos out there a
little irritating. Shmoos are nothig to the OTHER WOMEN that will be constantly
hitting on your girl. I hate to tell you this guys, but most the women who bother
to peruse this newsgroup are here for the same thing you are - To see muscular
women. Believe me, a woman caught up in the frenzy of femuscle lust is out of
control. They'll hit on your girl right in front of you, and give you a smirk to
boot. Then you have the guys that are intimidated by female muscle. They won't
bother your girl, they'll bother YOU. It seems the only thing these men hate more
than women with muscle are the guys that love female muscle.
Now your lady love is also on the make. Not for love or sex. No, she's after a
sponsor. Remember (I hate to keep bringing this up) she's NOT MAKING ANY MONEY
YET. It really costs a lot to be able to eat, excercise and rest in the quantity
and manner required for a competitive bodybuildubg. It also costs some pretty big
bucks just getting to, spending some time at, and coming home from a competition.
Costs, costs and more costs, and she still isn't making a dime off it.
Well, enough drivel. The point of all this is that loving an FBB can be tough.
But all is not lost. Anyone who frequents this newsgroup knows there are tons
of FBB's out there. ~Con~ alone posts pictures of dozens of FBB's every week.
Christ in a handbasket. There are tons of muscular women out there. Not FBB's.
Just everyday women who pump iron 3 to 4 times a week just like us. I saw no
less than four muscle babes last Thursday. One was on D/FW channel 5(NBC) local
news. Tall woman in her forties walking into Lamarr Highschool. Flower print
dress with half sleeves and a big bicep. One was in the parking lot of the Tom
Thumb in Irving. Housewife leaning into the back of a Suburban. Another flower
print dress with calves the size of a softball. In the Tom Thumb was a black
girl in a summer dress. This girl was simply covered with peaches. Finally,
there was a yuppie girl in a BMW. One arm casually drapped over the back seat,
and it was massive. These women are all over the place. I won't even mention
the girls pumping iron at my "club".
Think about this, guys. A woman doesn't have to have arms like Tina Lockwood to be
desirable, nor does she have to live Tina Lockwood's lifestyle. No matter what
anyone says, I've been watching muscular women for decades, and many of them have
never lifted weights in their life.