Forum Saradas
Female BodyBuilding & Fitness & Figure - Members Area => Tastes and opinions of Saradas members => Topic started by: bf5waea97 on July 03, 2017, 09:03:11 pm
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Hey folks, do other people find it difficult in finding a partner due your attraction to muscular women. I have certainly been frustrated recently with the lack of options out there. Let me know your thoughts.
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Maybe it's the fact that in my whole 18 years I've been alive, I had 2 girlfriends. But so far it's consistent, she'll look at me funny, say I'm weird, and never talk to me ever again. :'(
Now, I don't want my girlfriend right now to find in fear of a break up.
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Dating for me is hard because all of my girlfriends, who found out that I like muscular women usually breaks up with me on the spot. :'(
Can you blame them? What if your girlfriend told you she's super turned on by male bodybuilders? Do you want to be in a relationship where you'll always know you're second best? That she's settling for you because her type is rare. And how comfortable are you going to feel if she joins a gym where there are male bodybuilders?
Having this predilection can be a lonely road. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But if that's the hand you've been dealt, try to make the best of it. You're eighteen. You've got options. Ever hear the quote, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity?" Join a gym. Become a bodybuilder. You don't have to be huge, but the more serious you are the better your odds when you run into your dream girl. And you're most likely to run into a muscular woman in her native habitat, the gym.
All the other advice being given here is valid as well, but you'll notice that almost everyone who's actually dated an FBB, somehow put themselves in a position to make it happen. I've been privileged to have dated a few, but it didn't start until I figured that out.
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Yeah, it's definitely something I find myself concerned with over the course of my life, especially as I've gotten older and attempted more adult relationships. Looking back though, I've had some incredibly down women that cool, intrigued by, supportive of, my musclepreciation; but I wasn't in a place to appreciate them or take advantage of it. I was so insecure about my muscle lust that I would hide, lie, make relationship problems about their body, let them fester and kinda not talk about it until eventually we'd find some excuse to break up.
I had to really take stock of my own trauma and the undealt shame of being into muscle my whole life and hiding it. Just gulfs of shame to wade through. It's crazy really. And its a process. Doing that wasn't enough, just the start. Most recently, I've had to really come to accept my shadow sides. I have to embrace the darker parts of myself that seem unflatering. Rather than bottling those things up, embracing them openly and expresing them to women I'm interested in has yielded some really positive results.
For me, it wasn't the desire for muscle that was the problem. It was the inability to ask for what I wanted. It was the fear of chasing who I was interested in. I think it's important to remember that we're all different. Just because we're on saradas doesn't mean we want the same women or the same experiences or relationships. It also doesn't mean that the sexual outlet we have here is the definitive experience for us. While I may love the massive bodybuilders, strongwomen and even find excitement in how performance enhancers affect them, that doesn't mean that average athleticsm isn't attractive, or that a short, chubbier woman with massive calves that's interested in building up for me isn't just as awesome in real life as Hanna Holman's lantern jaw is on the internet.
By being open and specific to myself, I've been able to open up vast new worlds of personal relationships. It's pretty cool
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That's interesting
I'm experiencing the difficulty with finding someone that wants to date me because I'm muscular. I guess I'm nice to look at or admire in secret but when it comes to going out in public there are very few men that are "comfortable" with my size. Why is that? I'm not a session person. I have a very public career. So what's the problem? I'm just a woman that loves being big and muscular but wants to meet an intelligent and average looking guy since I'm not fond of dating fellow bodybuilders, they are more like brothers. I'm a bit of a sapiophile and go for engineers, nerds, and the like.
I guess dating is difficult on both sides of the equation...male seeking muscle girl / muscular girl seeking male lol
Good luck in your search my friend :) (http://thumbs.imagebam.com/fa/26/b2/a623b5592900493.jpg) (http://www.imagebam.com/image/a623b5592900493) (http://thumbs.imagebam.com/de/a7/60/819980592900533.jpg) (http://www.imagebam.com/image/819980592900533) (http://thumbs.imagebam.com/79/a7/c2/318e38592900583.jpg) (http://www.imagebam.com/image/318e38592900583)
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You've got two strikes against you. You are exceptionally beautiful and you are muscular. Most men don't think they would even have a chance with you because they think you will only settle for an Arnold. I think age is a factor as well. Younger men are probably more insecure about a woman with muscles. It is kind of hard to deal with going out with someone who is constantly drawing attention to herself.
I'm sure everyone here would be interested if you could elaborate on your relationship trouble Fbbvixen. Obviously you are very proud of your phenomenal physique as you should be and your lifestyle focuses heavily on maintaining it so the only men that would be interested are schmoes or other fit men who can appreciate you and be supportive. Few others would ever hang around long enough to get to know you well enough to realize that you are not just a physical marvel.
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I think 3 words are in greatest effect here....
Accentuate the positive.
I am quite stunned that people can't turn their desires, into positives. For example if you're on Tinder or some e-dating site , openly state that you admire women who look after their bodies, and are as unafraid to build their physical strength as well as character strength. That big, powerful women don't intimidate you, in fact you celebrate the right of a woman to be physically larger. You will probably get a couple of messages from obese women who twist 'powerful' into 'blubby', but the MEATIER gals are out there - and whoever you settle on eventually, she will know of your appetite for the larger female and for the most part be ok with it.
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Being a word guy, I often find terminology helps me makes sense of things a bit more easily. I ran across the word "partialism" where in a person focuses on a 'single part of the body', and unable to become aroused or reach sexual release in other ways or in relation to a whole person. In particular, partialists are so into their thing, that they don't necessarily get turned on by genetalia either.
Lol when I read that, I was like, "wait... genetalia turns people on?" So rather than calling my musclepreciation a "fetish" I've switched the terminology.
What it's done for me, though, is reinforce my understanding of my own normalcy. As well as help shape my sexual needs and expectations in a relationship. While it's not easy to at first to ask someone to do things that are new to them, it's much better than faking the funk and trying to create an expectation that you're "just like everybody else (whatever that means)".
The greatest sexual and therefore dating happiness for me is going to come from flexing, posing, conversations about workouts and physical exertion, muscle growth, measurements, and even comparison. Even if she's undersized or not that muscular, I find the attempt and expression toward my sensibilities goes a great deal farther than anything else.
Sex is a conversation, and muscle is the language I prefer. Depending on the partner, it could be a language they enjoy, or are good at speaking in despite it not being their favorite. That being said, I've also had to learn that just because a person expertly speaks my sexual language doesn't mean they speak any others.
As much as I love muscle, I've also had to tone down my questing for it as I wanted a more well rounded and emotionally fulfilling relationship. Muscle still gets the blood pumping, but love, care, attention, support, trust and appreciation count for so much more, and no amount of gym time will build that up.
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With the attitude that some muscular women have, I'm willing to bet that some of them (not all of them) wait for a simple, average, respectful, and loving guy - regardless of the guy's physique. They just want support! Someone to encourage them and someone who understands what they do, the time and dedication it takes. Also, being oblivious and not paying attention to the looks the "average" stranger will make give to you two. Act as if she's the only person you see - in the end, a lot of our attachments to these kind of women should promote you to do just that! Treat them like they are the only person you see - like the goddesses they are.
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With the attitude that some muscular women have, I'm willing to bet that some of them (not all of them) wait for a simple, average, respectful, and loving guy - regardless of the guy's physique. They just want support! Someone to encourage them and someone who understands what they do, the time and dedication it takes. Also, being oblivious and not paying attention to the looks the "average" stranger will make give to you two. Act as if she's the only person you see - in the end, a lot of our attachments to these kind of women should promote you to do just that! Treat them like they are the only person you see - like the goddesses they are.
Humm, I agree with most of the things you said, but not with " like the goddesses they are." , they are not goddesses, they are normal person. Never treat anyone like a goddess or she wont respect you... You can love and treat her like a queen, that s ok. Treat her like a normal person.
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To be honest, the older I get the more 'frustrated' I get by the lack of acceptance of muscle on women. I don't mean to come off like an a-hole but I have no problem finding a date or talking to women and it's not like I find non-muscular women unattractive. For me it's difficult to keep things interesting from a physical attraction point of view. I've always been (sort of) honest about my love for muscular women, I will tell people I like the Jamie Eason type of physique but I'll leave out that I wouldn't mind dating Katka K either. Even the general reaction I get from saying that I like a fitness girl physique is just uncalled-for. Some of the girls I've dated were paranoid about touching a dumbell, afraid of magically turing into a man. Even though they worked out 5 times a week to keep a lean physique. It's the fear of being socially rejected holding them back, like everybody fuels to this idea that women should be skinny. Oh and being fat is okay, which it is but so should being muscular.
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I will mention once again that there is a difference between a woman who is a hardcore FBB and a hardcore FBB who also competes. I'm no authority but when you say time and cost, I don't think a woman who only lifts for herself (as opposed with competing being her goal for the time and effort) has the same concerns. In that case it may be easier to date an average guy. Even though I still say if you want to get with a woman who lifts, (or any other woman for that matter,) put 100 pounds of muscle on your body, or put 1 million pounds in your bank account. ;D
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Just my 2 cents on this topic. I had a friend in high school who was obsessed with models. He didn't even really care what they looked like, just as long as they were professionally photographed. It was odd but that was his thing. Lived and breathed it and I think in his head literally said 'I will never not date a girl who is a model' superficial but he knew what he wanted. We all kind of thougtht it was a joke, well in a few years he began to take up photography and this is back when digital cameras first came out, so he in vested in one. And began to hang out with a couple of kids in our school who went to clubs. Well fast forward less then a year and this dude is taking photos of tons of girls trying to break into modeling and helping this club kids promos parties. Well, he's now taking probably maybe a hundred photo sessions with aspiring models and in that hundred he is able to flirt with and hit on maybe 5 girls... So now he's dating 5 models at one time. And with the promo work he's doing with the club kids (who are all gay) he's got an even bigger network of girls going out to hit on! All because he moved himself to where these girls are and bought a $300 camera. He did this for a decade and probably dated over 50 women, some okay... but others gorgues. And... he's not particually good looking or rich. He actaully turned this into a job and became somewhat sucessful. He's retired from this game but he married a girl who (althought not a model) is definitly out of his league and her dad runs a fund... and put this guy on AS AN EXEC out the gate because he married his daughter!
My point here is my friend took action, he always had. He didn't wait for the type of girl to come to him if you think about it now we are in the golden age of buff women... I mean how many girls pop up on IG a day so I'd say if you were really, really into making this happen you'd have to put yourself where the action is. Easiest way to do it is every town has a promoter putting on shows, get involved with them or volunteer. They may know you are schmoe but they won't care (trust me, much like show bizz the bb industry is not anywhere near being on the up and up) get involved with a supplment company. One thing you'll realize is much like my friend and his foray into the fashion world these things are transactions... sorry that's how the world is but once you realize this... the happier youll be. And this also donesn't mean all the people involved are bad either -- they just want something. Help them get it. Do it for 20 girls... out of 20 one will be interested.
If this is what you want this is your route. What you should not do... if get involved with a girl who isn't in shape and think you can change her. This will not work, you can't change people.
Now that being said, don't be sleazy, you don't want to ruin your rep. Work on your game (trust me bro... if you have okay game and your in thsi world you'll do ok, Male BBers tend to have terrible game thats why they need to look they way they do.) You put yourself around these people you work on having something to give, you have good game... and you are nice (yup, not a push over. Actually a good balanced dude) the world is so lacking in this you'll have trouble managing your day book.
Now go out there. Make it happen. It's totally doable. If one man has done it. Then it can be done.
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I just want to add one major caveat to my statement. Start working out. You don't have to be huge just work out consistently. This is probably the one major thing you can do for yourself that will raise your attraction levels to ALL females not just muscular ones. In fact I'd say if you failed to do this you'd probably negate everything else.
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I just want to add one major caveat to my statement. Start working out. You don't have to be huge just work out consistently. This is probably the one major thing you can do for yourself that will raise your attraction levels to ALL females not just muscular ones. In fact I'd say if you failed to do this you'd probably negate everything else.
I workout a lot and I’m pretty good shape not huge but you could tell I work out a lot and still I can’t seem to find another girlfriend.
Focus on making yourself attractive to as many girls as possible so they chase after you:
- Good to a good school
- Get a good job
- Make good money
- Stay / get in good shape
- Live in a big city
- Be socially attractive in group settings
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... they are not goddesses, they are normal person. Never treat anyone like a goddess or she wont respect you...
That may be your experience, but my wife is definitely a goddess.
that's not what I tried to explain. I summarize myself. For most fans, a muscular woman is a goddess, she is put on a pedestal even before a date..
For me, they are women like the others, the only difference is that they have more muscles.
They remain just as feminine, sensitive, beautiful and emotional ...
Would you date one? Then take care of her as you do for anyone else... if you have a lasting relationship with her, then yes, she will become your goddess. I wish you lots of happiness and that you find your "goddess"
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Becareful to who you meet... Some of these ladies have "sick" brain because of the shit they take, plus the hevay dieting during preps... Most of them are egocentric, selfish... and have personnality disorder... All that added altogether may result on a big desillusion.
Wonder why no sponsor in this sport???
Get to know them before you get into a serious date... My best advice.
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I also think they often have difficult personalities :
First of all their motivation to start BB was often to overcome a hard,traumatic past,childhood
-so they turned in reaction to get selfconfident and invulnarable ,quite narcisstic & tough toward their
environment
Furthermore they are quite isolated due to the non-acceptance by mainstream
and stressed to make a living,which is often made by sessions . To meet & wrestle a lot of unknown guys
who are often idiots & jerks is quite tough ,you can imagine !?
And finally not to forget the stuff they are intaking (you all know wh
at I mean)
-so you will have a risk to contact .or even start a relationship with that great creatures ,
but perhaps it`s worth ,and finally in whole life there`s risk ,so let´s live after motto "No risk,no fun!"
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The biggest problem with dating an fbb is -- your dream girl doesn't look like that all year round. Go to a professional contest or two.
See all the off-season fbbs there, who look WORSE than your average girl who eats reasonably well and does an average amount of exercise.
Its nice and all to fantasize about a woman who's ripped and tanned with shoulders so wide theyhave trouble fitting through door,
but you are unbelievably deluded if you think she can look like that all year round.
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That's interesting
I'm experiencing the difficulty with finding someone that wants to date me because I'm muscular. I guess I'm nice to look at or admire in secret but when it comes to going out in public there are very few men that are "comfortable" with my size. Why is that? I'm not a session person. I have a very public career. So what's the problem? I'm just a woman that loves being big and muscular but wants to meet an intelligent and average looking guy since I'm not fond of dating fellow bodybuilders, they are more like brothers. I'm a bit of a sapiophile and go for engineers, nerds, and the like.
I guess dating is difficult on both sides of the equation...male seeking muscle girl / muscular girl seeking male lol
Good luck in your search my friend :) (http://thumbs.imagebam.com/fa/26/b2/a623b5592900493.jpg) (http://www.imagebam.com/image/a623b5592900493) (http://thumbs.imagebam.com/de/a7/60/819980592900533.jpg) (http://www.imagebam.com/image/819980592900533) (http://thumbs.imagebam.com/79/a7/c2/318e38592900583.jpg) (http://www.imagebam.com/image/318e38592900583)
I have to agree with the OP....
Men like us who are ready to walk the walk are far more common than women like you... You are a rare type of person as most women in your position seek to make money flaunting their bodies to men for money.