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Forum Saradas  |  Female BodyBuilding & Fitness & Figure - Members Area  |  Tastes and opinions of Saradas members  |  Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
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Author Topic: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?  (Read 3319 times)

Offline VegasAce

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Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« on: January 08, 2021, 08:09:09 pm »
I remember years ago (when I was single) stumbling on a YouTube video by Crystal Anthony about how to date a female bodybuilder. It was a pretty good video (the gist of it was to go to shows, conventions and the like,) but only recently, it made me think about something else that I wish she would have brought up in that video, and that’s also being into fitness and living a fit lifestyle like they do.

I’ve always been attracted to physically strong, muscular women, but there was a good chunk (no pun intended) of my life where I was overweight, out of shape, and had a terrible diet where I would get fast food multiple times a week and drink sugary soda multiple times daily. I was also single, and of course, I had no success in finding a partner that I was attracted to. Long story short, I cleaned up my diet, joined a CrossFit gym, and in my mid-30s am in the best shape of my life. And when I went back into the dating market, I found much more success and dated powerlifters, martial artists, rock climbers, and am currently in a relationship with a fellow crossfitter. I feel that while my changed physique played a success in that, having something in common and being in a similar environment with those women contributed to my success.

I see posts here and on other sites asking questions like “How do I meet/date muscular women?” And I also see posts from people lamenting that female bodybuilders only date male bodybuilders, or other strength athletes. And my question is: why don’t more of us do the same? I don’t really like using the term “schmoe,” but for practicality’s sake I will for this example: I have seen videos of live wrestling events, I’ve been to conventions, and I’ve been around other schemes multiple times pre COVID, and while there are exceptions, it seems like most of them are, for lack of a better term, not fit at all, whether that be underweight, overweight (and not overweight in muscle) or just not fit looking. And when they ask how to be intimate with a fit and muscular woman outside of a paid session, I’m a bit flabbergasted. Living a fit lifestyle is just that: a lifestyle that involves discipline with sticking to a regime, and if you live a different lifestyle than these ladies do, how are they going to find any common ground with you? Maybe some of it is looks in that they’re also attracted to fit men with muscle, but I also think a lot of it has to do with the lifestyle, and it probably explains why female bodybuilders date male bodybuilders.

Granted, being fit yourself isn’t a magic bullet by any means, but it definitely goes a long way in attracting them women that we like so much on this forum, plus by being in the fitness community it gives us a better chance to make those connections and meet those women. Obviously because of the pandemic things are a little bit different temporarily, but if you go to a smaller, more community oriented gyms (you’ll have a much better chance of meeting people at a CrossFit gym, or a powerlifting gym vs a EoS Fitness or 24 Hour Fitness Big Box chain,) or compete at meets or just be around environments with other fit people where you can talk about training and fitness, you’re going to expand your network and possibly meet a partner to go out with. I have even established friendships with other female strength athletes through social media: not by saying dumb shit like “omg I love your biceps, I want to wrestle you, you could probably beat me up!” but instead by talking about actual lifting, or our goals, or past competitions: basically establishing a connection by talking about something we both do.

So basically, the TLDR version of this is if you like women with muscle and want to date then, then become what they are and get fit and have muscle. I would love to see all of us schmoes start hitting the weights and getting in shape!

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Offline liffingme

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2021, 06:02:11 pm »
personally i wouldn't want to date a bodybuilder since their mentality would differ a lot from mine, as i like training but not to the extent that it would be the main focus in life. I do hit the gym though and i've got a few bodybuilder friends (both female and male) that i got to meet at the gym. But I've realized long ago that my mentality differs a lot from theirs.

Most people can hit the gym regularly, but not everyone can focus on it so much that they'd be at the same wave length as the bodybuilding woman.
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Offline FemFlexUSA

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2021, 04:25:54 am »
personally i wouldn't want to date a bodybuilder since their mentality would differ a lot from mine, as i like training but not to the extent that it would be the main focus in life. I do hit the gym though and i've got a few bodybuilder friends (both female and male) that i got to meet at the gym. But I've realized long ago that my mentality differs a lot from theirs.

Most people can hit the gym regularly, but not everyone can focus on it so much that they'd be at the same wave length as the bodybuilding woman.

Nailed it. The mentality that drives them to be what they are is not something I possess and that's a quantifiable part of the attraction for me.

Everyone should have an exercise regimen, but only a few people in the world can have the lasting drive that makes Superwoman Superwoman.
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Offline ayylm4o

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2021, 08:44:10 am »
personally i wouldn't want to date a bodybuilder since their mentality would differ a lot from mine, as i like training but not to the extent that it would be the main focus in life. I do hit the gym though and i've got a few bodybuilder friends (both female and male) that i got to meet at the gym. But I've realized long ago that my mentality differs a lot from theirs.

Most people can hit the gym regularly, but not everyone can focus on it so much that they'd be at the same wave length as the bodybuilding woman.

That might be true for the biggest / most extreme women out there but I think you can date a fit woman if you're into fitness yourself.
Besides I think it'd be a pretty boring relationship if both of you were 100% dedicated to bodybuilding.

Offline alphaking1

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2021, 11:25:50 am »
Motivation mainly. I want to workout. I've tried multiplie times but it usually ended-up being pretty short periods as I don't really take that much pleasure from doing sports. Maybe one day I'll find a sport that actually motivates me enough.

Offline fitgirlfanguy

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2021, 02:34:18 pm »
Just like men have different tastes, so do women.  Some female physique athletes (to be all-encompassing) prefer a fit male partner because lifestyles mesh easily.  In fact it's the boyfriend who often brings them into the lifestyle in the first place, away from being a yoga freak or cardio bunny.  For others it's not a factor at all, perhaps because they value their mental/emotional connection instead, or they like that their bodybuilding lifestyle is simply a part of their life.  For every FBB whose occupation is personal trainer, there's another who is a lawyer, firefighter, real estate agent, doctor, police officer, or a mom with a household of kids.  Being an FBB is not what entirely defines them.  Did you see who Rita Bello married in recent years?  He's no Mr. Universe.  No doubt there are other examples all over the spectrum. 


Have a watch of Amanda Machado's recent video on dating.  She states what HER preference and approach to meeting guys is, and it might disappoint or deter some of the more superficial suitors, which brings the whole discussion full circle to this: more often than not, these women are no different than any other woman in that they seek a mental/emotional connection with a partner.  The physical fitness might be icing on the cake for some, but not others. 


Here's another reality check: you're delusional if you think every female physique athlete is walking around looking stage ready most of the year.  Some women do look great year round.  Others have a significant swing in their appearance/conditioning in the offseason, to the point you'd be surprised if they told you they did work out at all.  And if you think every night with these women is going to be a flaunting muscle posing and worship session capped off by a happy ending of one kind or another, I wish you happy unicorn hunting. 


Find a woman you connect with.  Work out for YOU first.  A woman who is only with you for your physical body (like your money) won't be as enjoyable as you think.

Offline Del4

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2021, 05:45:30 am »
Do you have a link to the video?

Offline fitgirlfanguy

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2021, 12:49:35 pm »
Her Insta**** account is @amandinha1 and it was originally posted on there.  Unfortunately I can't seem to find it anymore, and it's not anywhere on YouTube either, on her Muscle Babes channel or anywhere else there.  I'm not sure why it's not as she's got several other IG stories and reels from further back that remain on her page.  I'll say this though: fuck is her body perfect. 

Offline deadlykitten

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2021, 04:06:32 am »
I have been wanting to reply this post for ages. I definitely agree with VegasAce's point.

This is definitely something that plays on my mind. Outside of the possibility of dating, IMO  it will definitely allow more empathy for these women, regards how hard it can be to maintain this lifestyle, just in terms of motivation. Off season, women can let go of themselves but its not like they don't want to be in shape. I know I struggle with trying to be consistent sometimes with the weight training, and if your partner does it too, I imagine it would be a lot easier to stay motivated to workout (vice versa is also possible. I have been in relationships where we were enabling the worst behaviors in each other).

As to fitgirlfanguy's point - If you are after something superficial is it somehow mutually exclusive from wanting an emotional connection? Is not possible some of us here to want both? Being desperate for a woman can definitely blind you to some red flags. So I would agree that you need to be happy with yourself first. But I don't think there is anything wrong with dating someone if you think they are good-looking.

Having said that, I do not endorse PUA / red pill morons. If you want a one off, then you pay-to-play.

Offline knufflschmoe

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2021, 09:36:49 am »
that would be naturally for me to be at least fit & better becoming muscular ,when you?re interested in muscular female specimen....

would lack selfconfidence if not being fit & muscular when getting im contact to muscle women,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and you can understand sens of life of traingins addicted women only if training by yourself,and best getting addicted to gymtraining and
muscle by yourself ....................then you could be near to your admired FBB also emotionally and mentally ...a really arousing state
of mind...........
...a pity that this dream often doesn`t come true ,,and the gym is empty of this type of woman ,,,,,

Offline fitgirlfanguy

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2021, 03:01:03 pm »
I have been wanting to reply this post for ages. I definitely agree with VegasAce's point.

This is definitely something that plays on my mind. Outside of the possibility of dating, IMO  it will definitely allow more empathy for these women, regards how hard it can be to maintain this lifestyle, just in terms of motivation. Off season, women can let go of themselves but its not like they don't want to be in shape. I know I struggle with trying to be consistent sometimes with the weight training, and if your partner does it too, I imagine it would be a lot easier to stay motivated to workout (vice versa is also possible. I have been in relationships where we were enabling the worst behaviors in each other).

As to fitgirlfanguy's point - If you are after something superficial is it somehow mutually exclusive from wanting an emotional connection? Is not possible some of us here to want both? Being desperate for a woman can definitely blind you to some red flags. So I would agree that you need to be happy with yourself first. But I don't think there is anything wrong with dating someone if you think they are good-looking.

Having said that, I do not endorse PUA / red pill morons. If you want a one off, then you pay-to-play.


@deadlykitten: It's not at all mutually exclusive.  I simply feel it's delusional to believe that because you're physically attracted to someone that the emotional attraction will follow.  It's the emotional attraction which will get you through life's ups and downs in the long term and through the mundane of day to day life. 

Offline JohnMcClane

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Re: Why don’t more of us actually bodybuild/lift?
« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2022, 10:50:39 pm »
Had a car accident. Otherwise I would

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