Man shoveling snow gets pissed at plow driver who keeps blocking him in and she calls him into her truck for a little heart to heart…or leg to head!
It was a monster storm, a couple feet of snow and Jim grumbled mightily as he shoveled out his long driveway of the shit, cursing the entire time and finally making it to the end, clearing a huge mound of snow to the street that had been piled there by the snowplows. He’d just lifted the last massive chunk of snow and ice and tossed it aside, ready to go inside for a couple beers, when a snowplow came by – and plowed him all in again.
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!” he screamed, waving his shovel in the air as the plow truck, yellow lights fading into the swirling snow, disappeared down the road.
He was twice as pissed now as he set to clearing the latest obstruction from his driveway and had just finished up when a plow – the same one – roared by and filled him in again, not as badly as the first two but still enough to put him to work again. Jim picked up a snow blob of ice and whipped it at the truck, cursing as he did, and the son of a bitch driving now honked his horn and stuck a hand out the window to wave at Jim, flipping him the finger.
“That son of a fucking BITCH!!!” he screamed, kicking at the snow mounded at his feet.
And sure enough, after clearing it again, he saw the plow coming. This time, he was ready and aimed the sharp edge of his shovel at the plow’s right headlight, whipping it around like a bat and crashing into the glass, exploding it in a spray of glass bits. The force of the truck’s speed whipped the shovel out of Jim’s hand and left it embedded in the light socket as the big truck ground to a halt 100 feet down the road. Jim looked in disbelief at what he’d done and then broke into a huge smile. He felt vindicated as he walked toward the truck to retrieve his shovel, not caring if the fucker inside came after him. He was so pissed he knew he could kick the shit out of anyone right now.
The passenger door opened slowly and slowly a gloved hand stuck out, curling a finger toward Jim, beckoning him toward the door. And slowly Jim walked up and peered in, right into the crystal blue eyes of a gorgeous, short-haired blonde woman about 30 years old, wearing a stocking hat and big bulky winter clothes. She smiled.
“Nice shot, mister,” she said. “Now come on in and we’ll talk about you paying me for that light.”
“Uh, I don’t think so, cutie,” Jim said, relieved it wasn’t a huge burly guy behind the wheel, climbing up and shutting the door as snow swirled around the truck. “Look, you blocked me in three fucking times, it was a game to you and I don’t think a headlight is gonna break your bank, bitch. So I’ll just get my shovel and be on my way.”
“Uh, I don’t think so – cutie!” she snapped angrily as Jim turned to face his door.
He never made it out. The girl had whipped her booted feet up toward his head and snared his neck in her amazingly powerful calves. He felt the thick bands of her lower leg muscles crush into the sides of his neck and watched in pain as the boots locked before his shocked face. His hands shot up to grab her baggy wool pants and pull at them to try prying her legs open but her calves just squeezed in harder and harder.
“Now, you gonna apologize AND pay me the 20 bucks it’ll cost to replace that headlight or do I just plow my calves right THROUGH your neck?” she barked down at him, squeezing harder.
“Fuck…you…” he groaned, amazed he couldn’t pull himself from her crushing calves.
“No, fuck YOU!” she bristled, leaning down to pull up her baggy pant legs revealing creamy white tubes of solid muscle that erupted from her low snowboots, thick and hard, steely and firm against Jim’s neck. “Now apologize and pay UP!!!!”
He screamed in agony as she squeezed harder, his hands pulling on her shiny shins as he felt the thick mounds of calf muscle flow and ripple under her soft, winter-white skin. Her legs were beautiful, he thought for a splitting second before they retightened with a vengeance alongside his tender neck and made him feel she’s scissor his head off his shoulders.
“Oh, you’re a stubborn one,” she sighed, grabbing a handful of Jim’s hair and holding his head still as she opened her calves slightly. “Guess I’ll hafta give ya the calf hammer!”
With that, she held his head in place and opened and closed her meaty calves with extreme violence, slamming them together on his neck, face and jaw and opening them rapidly to go it again, over and over, quickly slamming her punishing calves on him, hammering him in them. He screamed on each fleshy impact, begging for her to stop.
“Please! STOP! I’LL PAY!!!” he finally roared as her relentless thighs pummeled his sore face.
She smiled and kept the calf hammer up until he reached into his wallet and pulled out a 20, handing it up to her. Smiling, she leaned back and put on a violent squeeze with her tireless calves until he thought he was about to pass out. Then she let him go, pulled down her pant legs and booted him out into the snow.
“Now,” she shouted at him as she leaned over to grab the door to close it. “I think you’ll have a little more respect for plow drivers, don’t you?”
Before he could grab the shovel from her broken headlight, she drove off, horn honking and hand waving. When she came back around moments later, his shovel still hanging from her headlight, he could only watch as she plowed him in again.
The End
