I don't know how it is for everyone else or if anyone will even be able to make sense of this...but I have always wondered how detailed into the brain is our sexuality? I for one seem to think it I extremely detailed. There is no other way to explain these facts about me...m family was into figure skating and my aunt was very close to an appearance in the Olympics...so we all ice skated too...there was a older girl...maybe 20 and I was 6 I guess...but I was infatuated with her legs, and you know if you put on muscle easily then some of these women on skates get pretty big thighs and without knowing anything about sex I didn't put the two together....woman with muscle thighs and shapely developed calves equals me want intercourse...nope too little. This continued all the way to me being a senior in high school. I was at a bookstore and saw a book called (I think). GO FOR IT! by Gayle Olinakova not sure of the spieling....well back in those days if you needed material for yourself and it had to be muscular women...that book was a must...I mist have looked as guilty as can be in my mind...thinking the salesclerk knew I was going right home, lube up and stroke off the her legs...funny I see pics of her now once in a while and she is no where the size of woman I would love to be on top of right now...very athletic and developed but not superhuman big. But my erotic manifestations come from two or three elements:
1. I am the lower lie form, no way in hell do I rate ever being with such a goddess of muscularity...yet I am the one with her.
2. At the same time I am just a tool for her, she has no emotional attachment for me...at least that is what we both think...but I get pissrd off because I am not and never will be was she is or has become...so I decide to ignore her for a day or two...then the weirdest thing happens...she starts to get very angry and starts looking for me...being the physical specimen she is she finds me like in a busy mall and is wearing only a g-string, flip flops and just enough of an old ratty t-shirt that is torn away just below her monsterishly erect nipples...obviously this angry woman is being watched by everyone...she sees me and starts yelling in a very deep yet effeminate voice that she will not put up with my behavior, I won't be able to leave the house, I belong to her alone, and that her libido needs constant care from me...she throws me over her huge shoulder so if she just looks to her left, she starts to calm down because my erection is pushing able my belt until the whole head is exposed.
So this property of her thing is in some ways her way of loving me..but I am just not worthy of her actually saying it.
3. As the tears have gone by my personal vision of loveliness has constantly changed and it has always been on par with the so called women who have taken it too far. I would like nothing better than have my lover to be so androgynous that when she dress in male clothes...it is very difficult for people to tell what she is...because of severe male pattern baldness she has a closely shaved head, and my woman is usually a very dark skinned black woman...when we go out in suits she is definitely the dominate because she is taller, outweighs me, is a skilled fighter like the UFC dudes...but people look at her sideways when she speaks...just something womanly about her as well.
4. She also is totally in control in sex...like one sunny day I am working in my backyard when I glance at the patio door and there she is doing her most muscular pose and intimidation look that says I need it now...but there is no worry...as soon as I saw her I had nothing else on my mind except the primal groan and moan that we both make as we climax at the same time.
I guess I didn't answer the question and it just turned into a fantasy story of mine...but I find them to be gods gift to me for if they didn't't exist...I guess I would be in bed with a 300 pound black man and I never considered myself gay...I know now that I am attracted to many types of women and I love sex with a woman...but because of this I also know I would have no real issues with gay sex, if my partner fullfilled my needs....dark black, freakishly muscular, shaved everywhere and be as clean as can be...well I think that is why I am so turned on by Renne Toney...for years I tried to say yeah to much, looks like a man....well, hell yes she does and I think that is because she is incredibly trans gendered. I have no doubt in my mind that Renne was born all girl. She is not a man, but looks like one yet can have vaginal sex...that I why female bodybuilders are the best of all worlds...I get everything I want...feel good about liking that body I would love to have laying on top of me and still get to have the kind of sex I like best as well.
I am married and love my wife body very much, but she is a turn on to me physically because she is a dark skinned beautiful black woman with a very thick crossfit type body, not ripped...but she does it foe me everyday...so I am weird I don't have boundaries...its all ok to me. It's funny, but I am white and feel no urgency to screw a white woman. many are beautiful and I could make it with Colette Giumond, Tina Zampa, Maria Calo at her biggest in the early 2000s, Bev Francis when she decided to max out, Karla Nelson, Lesa Lewis, Iris Kyle, and on and on. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about three things....The Beatles, Portland Trail Blazers and a picture of Renne Toney.
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