Would You Break Up If She Didn't Put On Muscle?

[Bugenhagen]

Hey everyone, I miss my little hypotheticals so here's one.

Let's say you start dating someone and she's pretty great. Funny, smart(er that you), going places in life, and completely devoted to you as a person. However, while she's not a small person she rocks a more "casually athletic" build. Curvy and softer to the touch. Early on your let her know about your musclepreciation and how deep that rabbit hole goes. She's accepting and before you start dating you let her know how important her fitness level is to the overall sexual health of your relationship. She's cool with it and you guys start dating.

Relationship is good yada yada, but you start fighting a bit over she's doing with her fitness. Say she quits lifting weights or doing crossfit and starts kickboxing, but doesn't take either one particularly seriously going once or twice a week max. She notices you pulling away and you sex a bit less and fight a bit more. The relationship is OK but not great at this point but you think that if she were to get more serious about training or serious about building muscle you'd be more interested. Either way, it's driving you crazy. What do you do?

- Break it off because she's not muscular enough
- Endure the relationship as is hoping things improve
- Ask to open the relationship and enjoy searching for or connecting with other women while staying in your primary relationship?
- Go back on what you said and demand to take a more active role in her training?
- Find women that are more muscular and see them on the side without permission
- Start saving up for and going on sessions (assuming their close)


Or anything else I haven't thought of. Fun right?!

[Bernie1212]

Be happy that I found a woman that willing to talk to me that was funny, smart, driven and devoted to me.  It sounds like an unreal hypothetical to me already....let alone any muscle being involved.

[M7]

Would You Break Up If She Didn't Put On Muscle?

The answer for me is simple. No. I'll speak from my real life. When I first met my wife, I was attracted to her muscles. When she was young she competed in powerlifting for a few years, but she stopped before I met her. She's naturally thick with particularly nice hamstrings, glutes and big calves. Looking at her from behind, it was hard not to stare. Thick arms with big veiny forearms too. It took me several months before I let her know how I really felt about her muscles and she was totally cool about it. It took longer, but I eventually let her know just how much I'm attracted to big fbbs. She has no problem flexing for me, but she told me she has no interest in being a powerlifter anymore (or bodybuilder). Over the years I've really tried encouraging her to lift again (and it helps when I'm lifting myself), but she's never stayed with it for any length of time. Unfortunately, she has lost size over the years, but we have a great relationship and I couldn't see myself leaving.

Long story short, she's amazing and I'm lucky to have her. If you're looking for a serious relationship with a big muscular woman, you're probably better off finding one that already embraces the lifestyle.

[FemFlexUSA]

I'd just be thankful she wanted to date me in the first place.

Core compatibility is the key.  If you're a 24yo expecting x, y, z from a woman you chose to try to date - even though she wasn't x, y, or z when you met her - then you are just a silly kid who wants his selfish wishes filled on-demand.  It's no big deal - break up, don't break up, whatever...this relationship is going nowhere, because you started with the wrong raw material.

But if you're still acting this way when you're 35 or older, you're an idiot. If you want to date a muscular woman because it means that much to you, that part is fine. But demanding that a prospective partner be your personal science project is fucked up. 

And yes, this is very different from one spouse telling the other, "hey, I think you're snacking too much and not exercising enough the past few months - let's clean up our meals and start walking together". 

[Old Surehand]

Let's

If you're looking for a serious relationship with a big muscular woman, you're probably better off finding one that already embraces the lifestyle.

I loved M7's post, but I quoted the key point I got from it. To break up with a woman because she doesn't want to turn herself into a clone of a female bodybuilding, physique or figure athlete is being shallow.

[PleaseForgiveMe]

No. That's just absurd.

[Specib70]

You fall in love with someone. If you try to change them to something they don’t want to do or be, then your with the wrong person !

[flexomatic]

From experience:

Choose a girl you find attractive and super cool to be with.
If she also chooses you, tell her about your fetish.
Chances are high that she will at least want to make you happy by flexing her muscles.
If you really are a match, she'll even enjoy putting on some muscle.
It happened to me. Pics can be found on here.

But don't force her or break up if she doesn't want to be ripped and huge.

Some hints: curvy thick women usually have more muscle potential even when not working out. Don't expect her to get ripped, but you will have massive (pun intended) fun when she flexes.

If you are ok with it, a girl with a knack for  girls once in a while is usually more into her masculine side and will enjoy having muscle.

At the moment, I am dating a tall girl with yoga physique, and she's also quite ok with flexing for me. I am greatly enjoying it. She's a great poser which makes up for her not being "massive".
But the real joy lies in her being a soulmate. Never forget that this must be the case in any good relationship. It requires you to be open with yourself (if you know who you are. most are clueless and stick to an image of themselves.)

[cook417]

Uhhh, no.

[deadlykitten]

- Start saving up and going on sessions

In my experience, I didn't let my girlfriend know I was into buff chicks but the relationship went downhill anyway a year in, and for the rest of the second year it was completely sexless. Cause we were fighting so much.

So I would think, if I did bring it up, and it became a bone of contention, and we were fighting about it a lot, it would end eventually. From sheer momentum.

[Warhawk Overdrive]

Nope, if a woman can handle me long enough to get to that point, maybe I should be the one getting in shape for her. I'm sure that goes for a few guys on here

[mr--clean]

Best thing you can do is be honest. If she doesn't realize how important it is to you there's no way you can expect her to take it as serious as you. Its an odd conversation to have, and might not even work if she's really not into it anymore, but at least you'll both understand each other again.

[liffingme]

i think it all boils down to: are you looking for a real (emotional) connection with someone you love, or are you just in it to fulfill your own desires? If it's the latter - then i honestly think one needs to change their mindset or all relationships will end miserably once the woman stops excercising.

[bertmacklinsbrother]

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 8 years and I love her to death.  Her arms are like noodles and she has the upper body strength of a kitten. 

Yes, I have a deep rooted fantasy and fetish for muscles on women, to an absurd and extreme degree.  But relationships are so much more than just a physical embodiment of desire.  Hell, we're all getting older; skin, hair, even muscles... it all loses its look with time and age.  So if you're going to be with someone for the longterm, you better make sure that you can accept her for the person she is.  And in fact, if you're the type of person that would break up with her over not being able to fulfill your fetish, then she's better off.

For short-term dating or casual flings, hell yeah go for what you like!  But if you want a future with that person, you have to look at the whole picture.

[Nahuel-H]

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 8 years and I love her to death.  Her arms are like noodles and she has the upper body strength of a kitten. 

Yes, I have a deep rooted fantasy and fetish for muscles on women, to an absurd and extreme degree.  But relationships are so much more than just a physical embodiment of desire.  Hell, we're all getting older; skin, hair, even muscles... it all loses its look with time and age.  So if you're going to be with someone for the longterm, you better make sure that you can accept her for the person she is.  And in fact, if you're the type of person that would break up with her over not being able to fulfill your fetish, then she's better off.

For short-term dating or casual flings, hell yeah go for what you like!  But if you want a future with that person, you have to look at the whole picture.

Hello, nice to greet you. I am Nahuel from Argentina. I agree 100% with your post. Regards.