Forum Saradas
Female BodyBuilding & Fitness & Figure - Members Area => Tastes and opinions of Saradas members => Topic started by: phy911 on October 07, 2017, 09:36:21 pm
-
The project chic. Women get involved in bodybuilding for many reasons however, I have met some that attribute a husband or boyfriend for getting them into the sport. My ex was a bodybuilder that was (for lack of a better word) created by her ex-husband. I didn’t criticize her like her ex-husband but it was this kindness and lack of pressure that eventually contributed to her abandoning weight training completely. My question is for those who have influenced their wives or girlfriends to take-up bodybuilding. How did you do it and what advice can you offer?
(https://i.imgur.com/bgnv5El.jpg)
-
I'd love to hear some stories. It sounds like an enjoyable life.
Personally I think it's a terrible idea, unless you yourself are competing. In order to inspire you should be willing to go through it yourself.
It would also make sense if she already showed interest in it. Maybe an ex dancer, gymnast, athlete who has already had experience could be encouraged.
But someone without the will to do it, will undoubtedly quit or cheat when you're not around
-
This probably isn't the answer that you want to hear, but it's a bad idea to date someone with the intention of "molding" them to fit what you find attractive. The reason that your ex stopped bodybuilding after she starting dating you was probably because she never had an interest in bodybuilding to begin with, and was forced into that lifestyle by her then-husband. Her leaving the sport probably had nothing to do with your "kindness and lack of pressure" toward her.
I dated someone who was into powerlifting, but she was always interested in weight training, and when she met me, she wanted to train heavy with me without my even suggesting the idea to her. If she is interested in bodybuilding, or for that matter any kind of hobby or activity, encourage her, but don't force her into a training routine rooted toward your personal desires. Or, get into bodybuilding yourself, and if she is getting involved after seeing you dive into it, go from there.
-
Thanks for the lesson in morals VegasAce but, I'm an evil dude. I cheat on tests. I drive over the speed limit and I've taken PEDs. Now to quote myself.
My question is for those who have influenced their wives or girlfriends to take-up bodybuilding. How did you do it and what advice can you offer?
-
I'm trying to reconcile the combination of "chic" and your hypothetical Svengali scenario.
-
This probably isn't the answer that you want to hear, but it's a bad idea to date someone with the intention of "molding" them to fit what you find attractive. The reason that your ex stopped bodybuilding after she starting dating you was probably because she never had an interest in bodybuilding to begin with, and was forced into that lifestyle by her then-husband. Her leaving the sport probably had nothing to do with your "kindness and lack of pressure" toward her.
I dated someone who was into powerlifting, but she was always interested in weight training, and when she met me, she wanted to train heavy with me without my even suggesting the idea to her. If she is interested in bodybuilding, or for that matter any kind of hobby or activity, encourage her, but don't force her into a training routine rooted toward your personal desires. Or, get into bodybuilding yourself, and if she is getting involved after seeing you dive into it, go from there.
Sir, you know their are women who try to mold men into many things . They always say "I can change him." People do this more than you think. It may explain why certain relationships fail. Maybe the best suggestion is to find a common interest. No one should be forced to do something. You can't say she did not have an interest may be she just lost it. Sometimes you do lose interest in the things you enjoy after awhile.
-
I'm trying to reconcile the combination of "chic" and your hypothetical Svengali scenario.
An ex-girlfriend who is fully aware of my attraction to female bodybuilders contacted me with the intention of getting back together. The scenario is neither Svengali or hypothetical.
Personally I think it's a terrible idea, unless you yourself are competing. In order to inspire you should be willing to go through it yourself.
I think you're right. I would need to go through it myself and it is a terrible idea. The obvious plan is to get her to train with me. However, I would like some input from someone that has actual experience rather than opinion.
-
I influenced an ex to take up bodybuilding, but it didn't last more than 12-18 months. She was a competitive athlete in the past, worked in the sports industry and had a naturally muscular physique. She joined with a group of bodybuilders to train and learned a lot about the sport. I even hired a personal trainer for her. She made it on stage for a bodybuilding competition to assist with prize giving, but did not compete herself. And even though she made good progress in building muscular size, her heart wasn't in it. The dieting and getting lean was the part that she didn't like, and when her work schedule filled up, she dropped it.
Based on my experience, I agree with those who have opined that it's not a good idea. The bodybuilding lifestyle is self-centred and requires extreme self-discipline. You can have the right genetics, sports background, opportunity etc....but if you don't have the required attitude and personal characteristics, it won't work.
-
Just to add a point, I also found that expecting my partner to bodybuild added a further issue to our relationship. In setting up the expectation, it became a bit of a focus, and when she did not fulfill my dream, it led to disappointment. After that relationship ended, I vowed to only look for an existing bodybuilder or a naturally muscular woman. That led to more satisfying relationships.
-
Took me years of going to the gym by myself and positive reinforcement , she initially hated it but as her stamina improved she started enjoying it more, imo you should both do it, makes it easier/better
-
First off keep in mind that you're battling over 20 yrs of horrible PR and negative images of women having more muscle. You've still got guys posting those waaay overblown morphs with celeb headshots pasted onto them...or even worse, posting extreme fbbs with tons of sides on Youtube and then labeling it "motivation"...when in reality it's only motivation for them to do the exact opposite. This is precisely the image that pushed women towards the yoga and pink dumbbells, so priority #1 = don't use that.
In order to attract women to training it's critical to use only the most positive images. Getting healthier, stronger, empowered and more attractive shouldn't (normally) involve any sort of coercion. For me personally that transformation process has been one of the biggest turn-ons with all of this. There's absolutely nothing like taking out of shape females and turning them onto all the benefits of proper training and diet. Also, utilize only those women who will provide the highest level inspiration...Pauline Nordin, Alex Albu, Ashley Dishman, Emma Hartley, Cass Martin, etc..
-
It wont work to influence a girlfriend to become a bodybuilder unless she isnt a natural born freak already.
Bodybuilders must have a love-hate relationship for torture and pain and hungry feelings and looking different and behave unsocial ect ect.
Just try to influence your girlfriend to become a mountaineer. Or a philatelist. Or a Go-Player. Or make her to learn the Violin.
You can suggest those hobbys, but influence her if she was a Couchpotato for the last 20 years? I doubt it very much.
-
It wont work to influence a girlfriend to become a bodybuilder unless she isnt a natural born freak already.
Is or isn't?
To those that say it is not possible check out this thread.
http://saradas.org/index.php?topic=241390.0
-
It wont work to influence a girlfriend to become a bodybuilder unless she isnt a natural born freak already.
Is or isn't?
To those that say it is not possible check out this thread.
http://saradas.org/index.php?topic=241390.0
The example given is of a mutual decision. In addition, both partners are working out. One could argue that both parties are influencing each other, and that both are participants in a project.
-
The example given is of a mutual decision. In addition, both partners are working out. One could argue that both parties are influencing each other, and that both are participants in a project.
Personally I think it's a terrible idea, unless you yourself are competing. In order to inspire you should be willing to go through it yourself.
I think you're right. I would need to go through it myself and it is a terrible idea. The obvious plan is to get her to train with me. However, I would like some input from someone that has actual experience rather than opinion.
On October 9th Drbench012 suggested training together to which I agreed. Your reply suggests you've not read the entire thread. I have enjoyed reading about your experiences with dating female bodybuilders that you've posted in general chat. However, regarding the woman you influenced to take up training that you've talked about in this thread, do you think that it may have been more successful if you trained with her?
-
what about getting your slim girlfriend into building a full 6 packs? there might be easier as girls now love a ripped stomach too... that's my plan, if someone has already tried shout
-
It is best to do the activity yourself and sometimes your spouse or girlfriend will follow. Women seem to get curious about things when men take a deep fascination in a particular subject or activity. They may want to join in because they think it will strengthen bonds. The point is the activity has to be fun enough to maintain their interests, while providing some benefits.
-
The example given is of a mutual decision. In addition, both partners are working out. One could argue that both parties are influencing each other, and that both are participants in a project.
Personally I think it's a terrible idea, unless you yourself are competing. In order to inspire you should be willing to go through it yourself.
I think you're right. I would need to go through it myself and it is a terrible idea. The obvious plan is to get her to train with me. However, I would like some input from someone that has actual experience rather than opinion.
On October 9th Drbench012 suggested training together to which I agreed. Your reply suggests you've not read the entire thread. I have enjoyed reading about your experiences with dating female bodybuilders that you've posted in general chat. However, regarding the woman you influenced to take up training that you've talked about in this thread, do you think that it may have been more successful if you trained with her?
Yes with the example I gave in this thread, she started bodybuilding training when overseas and we trained together there. When she arrived in my country to live, then we did continue to train together. That did not last too long though as she seemed to lose interest once she started working in the sports industry (not gym). I guess she started working longer hours and she did not have the energy for bodybuilding. Her working longer hours was a choice rather than a necessity, and I think she had lost interest in bodybuilding even before she arrived. The disciplined lifestyle required for bodybuilding requires strong motivation.
I haven't yet discovered how to spark an enduring interest in bodybuilding but I guess there are those who have. With other partners, I tried to spark their interest and trained with them, but their commitment to training did not last more than a few months.
-
As a bodybuilder and sometime trainer myself, I can provide a ROUGH roadmap that should satisfy both sides.
There are three criteria, absent any, the effort will fail:
1) She must love you strongly enough to be able and willing to do undergo nearly anything (this is both far more common than most guys realise, conversely the most commonly lacking of the 3 criteria). It's usually a good sign if she is asking you what clothes you like on her, or if you think her hips are too wide (btw the answer here is ALWAYS "Actually they could do to be wider" ;) ) ;
2) You must have agreement to a very specific and realistic idea of the look you want her to achieve. Specific, ie Miss Physique? Fitness? Fake boobs? What BF% Summer vs Winter, or On-season vs Off ? Realistic, ie she's the 5th sister in a family whose women are all over 5'9" and each weighs 90lbs max with A-cups, so you realise you can certainly make her body more womanly, but concede that she is never going to match a 1995 Tina Lockwood, and agree on a point of muscle development before that,;
3) You must be able to provide her with a trainer who is A: savvy enough make both her training in the gym, and diet efforts in the kitchen, as low-pain as possible, and B: inspirational enough to whet her appetite for lifting from wherever it is, even if non-existent, to a point where she regularly asks to do more than he allows.
If it were my GF I could certainly hammer out a roadmap.
-
I find subliminal messages while they sleep works the best.
.... How serious can I take this? Do you have recordings available? :D
I'm in a relationship now and I'm very much focused on being as honest possible but as loving as possible with the direction I want her to go. I've definitely done the dating of olympic hopefuls, paying for crossfit classes, and recently escorted the surviving girlfriend of my best friend to her first bodybuilding show to build her interest just in the hopes of putting more muscle loving women in the world.
My plan centers less around a desire to get her into bodybuilding specifically so much as gain muscle, love it, and reach her potential, but I'm using a combination of honesty and patience.
- My girlfriend knows I'm into the biggest and baddest of female bodybuilders.
- She knows the terminology and respects my partialism as well as she can. Meaning, she gets that muscles, not vaginas turn me on. Muscles, not lingerie turn me on. Muscle, not "tone" turn me on (I mean it can, but you know what I mean).
- She's eager to please
- Her psychology fits someone that would do well with lifestyle training. (more below)
Lol so I'm not looking to be a svengali like my man the street fighter, but I'll discuss in those terms as best I can.
In this instance muscle kind of goes against her upbringing, culture, and desire. However, she does enjoy feminism, other women, and physically strong female characters like Xena bother sexually and entertainment wise.
So for now, she's in this yoga phase, but has expressed a desire to "get stronger to get better at yoga" and enjoys the way that I pay special attention to her physique's muscular bits. So she shares changes she sees and what not. She's interested in getting more muscular because she knows I like it, but wants to do it on her own terms because she likes it. For her, it's more about gaining more knowledge and learning how not to fear her body and its potential. With soft encouragement, and sexual attention, it won't be hard to see her getting more excited about getting better and better and bigger and stronger. But I need to be patient, and since I love her as a person, it's much easier to be involved.
So that's my situation, but for someone looking to really convince someone that building muscle is a good idea, I think the first thing you need to do is focus on choosing the right target. Then you can apply pressure and reinforcement to excite and move toward bodybuilding
Step 1
Like many of us, I've been doing casual psych profiles on bodybuilders and athletes for years. Reading interviews and asking "what gets someone into this?" There definitely seems to be a particular mindset that I feel we see a lot. Not in all cases of course, but enough for us to have a casual understanding.
Bodybuilders are type A, love glamour and attention, standing out, and being stars. They also have either an enjoyment for exerting effort and hard work. They're tight with their schedules, programing, diets, and love a plan being made even if they aren't big into planning themselves. It helps if they're hella competitive.In other words, if you know meyers briggs, we're looking for someone with a "J (judging)" at the end of their 4 letter designation. A tendency toward Introversion is good too. ISFJ (Introversion Sensing Feeling Judging) is my (long shot ass) best guess at a strong profile for muscle building.
I've learned to get excited about meeting type A, hard working alpha type women because I feel like she's a good candidate to take her diet and training seriously. But also depending on her age will be eager to please and have a good idea of what she's willing to do for her training. If a true svengali, you could also say she's one bad day or experience from wanting to hole up and do something that makes her feel less weak or powerless. It's amazing how many women turn to hard training in crossfit or bodybuilding as recovery from a terrible relationship.
Step 2
If you can find the right candidate, the rest is pretty easy. Casually explain your appreciation for muscle and bodybuilding. This is easier if you are actually into training and bodybuilding yourself, hence so many women coming to the sport from boyfriends and husbands. I for one don't have any interest in BB as a sport I find and just love what it does to women. Don't let this deter you. Just be open about your interest as early as is appropriate. Not so much as a fetish as an attraction, but it's ok to know the different groups of women's BB competition or watch and like women's sports as an enthusiast.
Then, all you really need to do is begin to appreciate HER muscles. Whatever they are. Chances are if you're on this site and into her, she's working with something. Tight abs? Massive calves? Broad Shoulders? Dense glutes? Whatever it is, be all about that. Talk about how much you like her muscles and her exercise regimen. Whatever it is. Barre? Yoga? Boot camp? Women WANT To be fit. All we have to do is stoke the fire and let her know ("believe" if svengali) she'll be loved not just DESPITE her increasing muscularity but BECAUSE of it.
From there, reinforce the good. Appreciate the body and repeat. If you can get her to move to a more hard core training type or facility, do it. Check out the new bodybuilding gym in town. Buy her a crossfit giftcard. Get her personal training sessions. Introduce her to your powerlifting friends. The more women you know in these circles, the easier it will be to bring her in.
The most important thing is PATIENCE. I've ruined relationships because I didn't like that she was doing barre rather than "real training" and picked a fight over it. I was hurt over some other stuff at the time, but my point is to take your time. You want it to feel like it's her idea to make you happy as much as possible.
Conclusion
My whole life is filled women women that meet me then start powerlifting or something due to the positive reinforcement I give and the appreciation of what they do. I'm not a svengali and consider myself a feminist and ally to women and their causes, which I believe their physicality is important to that movement. Female muscle made me a feminist in a way. Thanks American Gladiators.
I believe we should want the best for the people around us. That's the definition of trust. Turning a woman into a bodybuilder will do as much for her as it will for you, if you're honest and loving about it. Obviously, you can be a much darker and more dangerous person about it. I can't live that way, but will definitely read your erotic stories about getting a woman on steroids and making her jaw muscular. That's my shit right now. Anyway, hope that helps!