“Thank you for having us, Ms. Petrovich.”
Kimmy nodded with a cute smile, then said:
“Like, I’m sorry, but it’s like Mrs. Cos I’m like married to like my Tonya, you know?”
“Oh. Okay. Let’s try this again.” The reporter smiled awkwardly. She was a little awed by how relaxed the founder of Kimmy’s Kitchen was. This was one of the biggest upscale fast food restaurant chains of the world, and she was just sitting there, being cute. Kimmy Petrovich was actually quite amazing to look at too. She was fifty years old, and she was built like a professional bodybuilder, while also sporting a pair of enormous, fake tits, and long blond hair that cascaded down her broad shoulders. She was what could best be described as a grimbo – a granny bimbo? Her face had a certain softness, although she had those thick, plump lips and sharp cheeks, and yet, she had some little lines by the eyes that gave her a bit of an age? She was also wearing a cute pink business suit with a pencil skirt that clung to her huge, muscular thighs.
“Thank you for having us, Mrs. Petrovich.”
Kimmy blanked. Then she smiled. She hesitated:
“Didn’t you like just say that and stuff?”
“Yes, yes, we were just starting from the beginning. Sorry. We’ll do it once more, if that’s okay?”
“It’s like no problem. I like just gotta get like my wife from like her job like afterwards? Cos like their having like a surprise party for me, you know?”
“A surprise party?”
“Yeah, cos it’s like my fiftieth birthday and they’ve like been preparing for like weeks. They like still think I didn’t like see it like, and stuff, you know? But I like found out, no? You like can’t like tell them. I’m like gonna like be so surprised! They’re like gonna like love it. Wanna like see my surprised look?”
“Uh … Okay?”
Kimmy let her jaw slacken and a little drop of saliva formed on her lower lip. Her eyes glazed over. Then she snapped back:
“What do you like think? Good, no? I like tried it like in the mirror like before.”
“Okay … Yeah, I guess that should sell it.”
“Uh-huh. I mean, they like really tried, but I like saw like that the drinks guy, he like came twice like in a week and like normally, he’s like here like only once, and he looks like really good, cos he’s like you know, buff? And he’s like also got like that little beardiness like all over his face … I like like those … He’s like like a little hunk, only like he’s also like really tiny like next to my Tonya, and he’s like also young and everything, you know, but like, I still like like to like look at like dudes, no? Do you like to look like at dudes?”
“Sometimes? It depends?”
“What’s like your favorite dude? Do you like like ‘em like big, or do you like like the small ones? The small ones, they like really like put in the work, you know? I mean … The like big ones, they like tend to be like all ‘ooh, I’m like big, so the girls like love me and I like you know just like stand there and be like everybody is wow!’, no?”
The reporter slowly started to realize that this interview was going to be a bit of a challenge. Kimmy giggled.
“Like, you know, my Tonya, she like has like those like biiiig cocks, and she’s like big like everywhere, but she’s like, you know, like … she gets like that you like gotta like do things like right, no? Like, she doesn’t like just stands there and is like … I’m like big! She like does the thing! Yeah. Also, she like was like there like for the kids and stuff? My own dad, he was like not there and like not a help and stuff? But okay, like my dad, he has like only like me as like a kid, and like Lewis, but like because he’s like adorbed, he was like all big like then already. Only he’s like not big like Tonya is big, but like only like a normal person big? What I’m saying is like my dad like he had like only one little kid and he like had no time and stuff, but like Tonya and I, we like have eleven, and so it’s like, you know … more?”
“Eleven kids?”
“Yeah? Don’t you like know? We like had the twins like first, cos like we didn’t like know how that like worked at first, with the two cocks.”
“Two cocks? What?”
“Like, like Tonya has? No?” The reporter was starting to be overwhelmed. She only wanted to talk about the business success of Kimmy’s Kitchen, and now, they were … somewhere? “So like our first two, they’re like Paul and John. Then there’s like the girls … I like had like three in a row, like after that … Marie, Hedy and Helen.” Kimmy focused on her fingers as she counted them out. “Then we like had two boys, like again. But they’re like not twins or like something. Tonya like gets to pick the names and stuff, cos she’s like making them, no? So they’re like Marius and Adam. It’s like really fancy, cos they like got like all these nice names, you know? Then I like had like three twins? Like not two twins, but like three? What do you like call them? We like called them like Lisa and like Alice and Luke. Yeah.” She stared at her fingers. “So that’s like, you know eight? Like that’s when Tonya like said, it’s like okay, but we like had like one more anyway, cos I like like it when they’re like … you know … like in my tummy?”
“But … how did you manage to do this all with your company on the side?”
“Uh … I dunno? I mean, I like only like do the recipes, no? It’s like not that hard, you know? Also, cos I’m like cooking like for so many like people, I like, you know, kinda like do it like anyway and stuff? Also, I like still like do the cooking like at the shop, so that’s like, yeah?”
“Okay … I … wow.”
“Yeah, and we like had like Lena and then we like were like really done. She’s like, you know, kinda not like really like that old, cos she’s like, still a teenager and stuff, no?”
“Alright … I can see that. Wow. Well, congratulations!”
“Like, thank you!”
That’s when Kimmy’s phone beeped.
“Oopsie! That’s like, you know, the thing that I like gotta go? I’m like sorry and stuff, but, like, I don’t wanna be like late, like to the party, no? Which is like totally like a secret and stuff? You like can’t tell them I like told you I like, you know, know?”
Kimmy giggled and got up, and the interview petered out, leaving the reporter and her assistant stranded nervously as Kimmy kissed them both and was off. The assistant stared at her:
“Okay, that was a lot of information, but … wow.”
“Yeah.”