FORMER party girl Jodie Marsh today reveals how bodybuilding saved her from suicide.
The ex Page Three girl, 33, admits she contemplated smashing her truck at high speed following public humiliation on Celebrity Big Brother and a string of failed relationships with high-profile men.
But being taken seriously by the bodybuilding world has helped her turn her life around — and she has even just won a championship in America.
Jodie, who is a tiny dress size four and weighs just 8st 2lb, says: “I can honestly say these are the best years of my life.
“I can’t even describe how good it is just to finally feel like I am doing something positive.
“I’ve always wanted to do something good but people would never take me seriously. Now they are.
“I feel so fit and healthy and ripped and strong. It’s so good to put the bad times behind me.”
From the moment Jodie shot to fame a decade ago, she was a controversial figure.
Often dressed in just underwear or even belts to go clubbing, and with a series of famous boyfriends, she was dubbed a man-eater and got involved in a war of words with rival glamour girl Katie Price.
Success ... Jodie with bodybuilding trophy
After being voted out first in 2006’s Celebrity Big Brother — having clashed with housemates Pete Burns and Michael Barrymore — Jodie plunged into depression.
Her TV humiliation was the final straw for desperate Jodie.
She says: “About six months after Celebrity Big Brother I decided I was going to kill myself.
“The quickest way to do it was to drive my truck into a post, so I started working out which one to use and how fast I’d need to be going.
“I was sick of everyone being so horrible to me.
“I’d walk down the road and people would say, ‘You’ve got a dodgy nose, you’ve got saggy t**s’ and they’d think that was fine.
“If I didn’t respond, they’d throw something at me — usually a bottle or drinks can. I just got worn down by it.”
One summer’s evening in 2006, Jodie was driving from her home in Brentwood, Essex, to see her brother Jordan’s band play in a pub when she came terrifyingly close to ending it all.
She says: “All I could think about was that I needed to drive myself into one of these poles. But I didn’t do it. I got to the pub sobbing. I was having a meltdown.”
Finishing touches ... Jodie's team get to work
Jodie fled to a friend’s hotel in Italy for two weeks “rocking and crying” before returning home.
She did not seek professional help because, having been referred to counsellors when she was bullied as a schoolgirl, she had lost faith in psychologists and care workers.
As well as the bullying, Jodie was dispirited following her string of failed relationships.
She caught her first boyfriend having sex with her best friend when she was 15 and that set the pattern for a disastrous love life.
Her next boyfriend, Garry Delaney, beat her “black and blue” for four years and is now in prison for murder — while his friend Jonathan Dore murdered Jodie’s best pal Kim Banyard in 2007.
Jodie then had a raft of famous boyfriends — including actor Max Beesley, Calum Best, Blazin’ Squad’s Kenzie and nightclub promoter Fran Cosgrave.
Upset ... Jodie on Celeb Big Brother
Currently single, she says: “I don’t think I’ve ever had a genuine relationship. Nobody has cared for me, wanted me to be happy, got to know the real me.
“Over the years they’ve lied, cheated, hit me, stolen from me and used me to get famous.
“The best relationship I ever had was with Max Beesley. He was nice to me, he cared about me.
“We got together soon after my best friend was killed and he really helped me through it.
“Kenzie was sweet but his management didn’t like me. They wanted him to be seen as clean-cut and thought I was a bad influence.
“The rest were awful. Boyfriends’ parents never like me either. They think I’m a bitch or a man-eater.
“My parents have been married 40 years so I do believe in marriage and I do want the fairytale husband and children.
Toned ... Jodie's physique has given her confidence
“But to be honest, I am on such a strict diet for the bodybuilding that if you offered me a choice between pizza and sex with Brad Pitt right now, I’d choose pizza.”
Having shied away from public life in recent years, Jodie returned with her ripped new look after discovering bodybuilding. She came fifth in her first UK competition last year and last month had a go on the global stage.
Jodie saw off experienced competition to WIN her category in the International Natural Bodybuilding Federation championships in Washington DC.
A programme charting her progress — Jodie Marsh: Brawn In The USA — can be seen on DMax on Wednesday, June 20, at 9pm.
To achieve her extreme look, vegetarian Jodie spent 14 weeks eating little more than egg whites, protein shakes, brown rice and green veg — and spent four hours in the gym every day.
At the competition, she spent 24 hours dehydrating herself so her skin would shrink and make her muscles appear more defined.
She then spent hours under searing lights daubed in special dark fake tan pulling poses to show off every muscle in her body.
Winner ... Jodie lines up in Washington DC
She says: “It was really tough. It makes me gag to eat eggs now, I’ve eaten so many. But I just kept smiling and did my best. And I won!”
Jodie now has virtually no body fat — and says she has never felt more attractive.
She says: “I know people see all the muscles and think it’s weird, but when I’m not posing and flexing my muscles, I just look really tiny and feminine.
“Feeling physically strong makes you mentally stronger as well. I feel totally in control right now.”
Jodie will soon be releasing her own line of protein supplements and is keen to promote healthy eating to her thousands of Twitter followers, mainly young girls.
She says: “I have never had so much support — and it feels so good. Even more so because of how bad things got for me.
“I can’t express how grateful I am for my life right now.”
