Hey!

I realize I am 18 months late to the conversation/discussion of this excellent story. I just found it and read it. I would like to congratulate the author for sharing this stuff with us. It is very well written, makes you think, and overall I enjoyed it very much.

Having said that, I do have a some (looong) comments to it (also linking/connecting to the comments from other people on this same story):

1.   It is clear that muscular Kayla was written to be an asshole, a cruel narcissistic bully. She is nevertheless a fascinating one, no doubt. Fantastic, to be honest (we’re all here for the kink, right?). She gives hell to poor Adnan, who, in all honesty, seems like a fairly decent guy (more to that later). Also, the author cleverly points out different elements that let us know that Kayla is what she is, namely a bully: a. Emma whispers Adnan to get out from Kayla’s presence; b. Kayla indifferently (without a hint of remorse or worry) mentions that she broke her partner’s forearm while having sex (very normal stuff!); c. she also states that “she paid the partners/owners a visit” to convince them to give her what she wanted; d. she certainly does a show of intimidating Adnan with her feats of strength (wrapping her legs around him and lifting him while forcing her options on him), physically intimidating a person who had been a close friend up to that point for basically not just reacting exactly how she wanted. We understand: she got mad at being passed over and also having a douche boyfriend and decided to become the Alpha predator, the big bad wolf who will terrify everyone into submission; that was her choice. We (readers) are all the happier for it, she is one very exciting character now (certainly not a role model, though). But from where I sit, this is the author’s intention, and he/she succeeds wonderfully. Author’s privilege: his work, his rules. 

2.   Having said that, the story ends with Kayla mistreating poor Adnan (again), and later on with him not being able to escape his instincts, despite her overall previous meanness to him.  It is quite a satisfying development, following the usual storyline of the Alpha muscle-female dictating terms always. However, I can´t just help wonder what could have happened if Adnan had found his spine on the final installment of the Cooling Room chapters. What if, as he is about to be dismissed, he told Kayla something along the lines of “Sure, I like muscular women. So, why is that bad? If I like running and I sign up to a running club in the hopes of finding a girl that shares that interest, why is that wrong? Sure, it theoretically narrows my options if I were to be open to “any type of girl”, “it’s just her soul that matters” approach. But let’s face it: this is real life, which means that it is perfectly normal for a guy/girl to like/dislike a potential partner for certain interests, maybe even appearance. You just complained that you resented Tyler for hating your transformation, but here is a guy that actually loves it, and that’s not good enough either. You build the most extreme physique a human being has ever built, and you actually expect some sort of weird Zen indifference/temperance to it (while at the same time essentially mutating in front of me)? Seriously? Furthermore (and this is a very important point), I am probably one of the very few people who can unequivocally prove that he also likes you for what you are/used to be, for your actual personality. I actually asked you out that night at Sushi Zen, before being aware of all of this. I was not aware of what you were going through at that moment, but you blamed me for it anyhow… Anyway, I just heard you say you do not want to see me again. I am sad to say that I am in the same position as you now: I don’t think we should see each other again. I worship this temple you have built, but certainly can’t find any remains of the personality of my friend in there, and that was something fabulous that I loved about you. Now, I only see a cruel bully. A magnificent one no doubt, but still a bully. Goodbye, Kayla.” What would have happened then? If she uses violence against him, she of course proves his point right. Or maybe she just forgets about him 10 seconds later. Or maybe the epilogue still happens as previously written. Ooooorrr, maybe she reflects upon this, her pride actually a bit stung as well, and looks him up instead later on?? This last one would have been terribly interesting, and also a bit different, I think…

3.   Finally, the story ends on a very interesting ambiguous note, which I interpret positively: Kayla speaks just one line, but it somehow seems like there might still an opening for Adnan with her. Being as blunt as she is, Kayla could have just started by saying “I told you not to reach out for me ever again”, if she really wanted to follow up on the previous developments. But her actual line seems a bit hopeful/teasing to me… Maybe she reflected upon what happened, and still recognized she had been a bitch (again). Or maybe that was her plan all along: put Adnan to the test, seeing herself as too much for just anyone without patience to handle… Anyway, I liked this ambiguous note a lot…

Anyway, that’s my 2 measly cents to this very good story, if anyone ever reads/cares about it. Once again: kudos to the author for his talent and his generosity by sharing this wonderful stuff with us.

Best,

E