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Forum Saradas  |  Female BodyBuilding & Fitness & Figure - Members Area  |  General Chat  |  I need Dating help (I know this isn't a dating site but idk where else to go)
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Author Topic: I need Dating help (I know this isn't a dating site but idk where else to go)  (Read 1217 times)

Offline Bugenhagen

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Flexomatic, I like the way you think.

Yeah, it's easy to get hella down in the dumps over this stuff. The despair and worry you'll never meet someone you're attracted to or be able to have a sexual relationship you're interested in...

You're not alone.

We've all been there in one form or another.

Lots of great advice here and I hope you get to follow it. To recap:

1. Work on yourself
2. Go out and meet all kinds of women everywhere anyway
3. Commune with others that are interested in what you're interested in (video games, and here with muscular women)
4. Knock off the masturbation for a while (I'm not a nofapster necessarily, but taking a week to a month off is a great way to see what you're made of and what you really want.
5. Get physical any way you can. Parks, running, lifting shit in the woods, yoga, meditation, whatever free shit there is around your city. Muscular women are rare, but have a tendency to show up anywhere.
6. Get thee to the bodybuilding shows and expos. Like, I'm honestly ashamed it took me so long to get off my shit and go to events where the physiques I love are celebrated. Because we often feel like weirdos and pariahs due to muscles being sexy rather than... whatever they are for other people, it can feel weird to interact with bodybuilders and the like. Feel that weridness. Open up and let yourself be a part of it.

7. Consider dating other athletes.  Much of the success I had in my 20s and 30s was all about being with the vairety of athletes in the world. Luckily for you, you're still in college age. That means you've got a wealth of different body types and activity levels to explore. In my day, I dated the freshman division rower with massive calves I'm still close with to this day, a thrower who went on to become one of the best in the world with 30 in quads I still have dreams about, an amazing  hammer thrower I dated for years, a curvy dancer who got buff years after we broke up probably to spite me... whtever, a 6ft red haired aussie rower who started getting buff because I wouldn't shut up about it but moved away later on and that is where me and Flexomatic's advice intersects a bit...

8. Be open and honest about your interest. This is going to be tough going for a while, but you reached out here so you're on the right track. What killed me and many of my previous relationships is the complete was the inability to get over myself when it came to my fetish, interest, musclepreciation.

For the longest, I'd date a woman and never tell her about it, leading a double life that drove me crazy. When I finally started opening up, women would attempt to connect with me rather than running for the hills going so far as to talk abotu their muscles and flex when I ask but I was too freaked out and ashamed to enjoy it. Plus I was so much more comfortable with my internet double life that I couldn't bear someone talking about it even if they knew. I'm still not 100% comfortable with it all and still hunt for muscle everywhere I go. It's part of who I am and informs so much of what I like to do and why.

The sooner you quit hiding, the sooner you'll find a better you. That doesn't mean everybody deserves to be in your business, but you'll know if you want to be in a relationship with someone based on how they respond to your muscle interests. Does she want to learn more? Does it intrigue her? Does she want to see what passes for porn to you? Does she want to flex? Does she want to get in better shape? Does she want to bulk up? Does she want to bodybuild and wants you to find the good steroids? Women are complex and interesting and as you've seen, many are interested in muscle and will likely be interested in you.

So if you do decide to date a BSW (Big Strong Woman... trying to start that shit) and want her to take her training further, that's awesome. Because for someone like me ( and most likely you) the fact that she's interested in growing and lifting and building will make her the most attractive regardless of how far along she is.

I wish you luck brother!

Offline Bugenhagen

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I'd also like to say, Flexomatic... you my people. Good luck with your BSW, player

Offline 009eli

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All good advice. Ill add one more thing. Dating and relationships are a skill. Its a shame society doesn't look at it this way and we are taught 'Oh some people are naturally good at this...' well some are the same way that a very few people could pick up a golf club and have some natural talent. But most people who excel at something do so because they continually practice.

Interpersonal relationships should be looked at the same way. If you want to have the life you want with the partner you want you need to put in the reps.

Even if that's garbage time. You can get some of this behind your keyboard, but not much. It's akin to someone reading about golf and not getting out on the course. It helps, but psyhical time in is 100x more effective.

The good thing about working on this skill is you can do it anywhere... with your family, friends... while you are waiting in line at the grocery store. Trust me... you may not be good at it but after a few years. Youll notice the changes. But the time you find the person your supposed to be youll be able to have the realtionship your supposed to have.

Good luck.

Online t651

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Well while we're all discussing this.

In a hypothetical situation where one does end up with a competitive fbb/physique/figure/bikini gal.
What happens when they retire from the sport?  I mean it's a likely scenario they won't be in it forever.

Since its all about the physical to some respects, what would that mean for your attraction with her?
Would you then move on to the next model?

For me its more about the full package.  If they happened to be muscular, then bonus.
But it's more for everyone else in the audience.  What do you think you would do in this scenario?

Offline uxello

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well hopefully you'd choose one that actually has some real life skills, someone who could get a normal job after. or even better yet, who has a normal job already and does the fitness stuff on the side. if it's just for the looks, you're better off doing a session or watching muscle porn than entering a relationship.

Offline flexomatic

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I'd also like to say, Flexomatic... you my people. Good luck with your BSW, player

Thanks man! Your advice is also very helpful probably.

I have decided to come out everytime it's getting real - and even if sometimes it was a disappointment, sometimes it was the complete opposite, like my last relationship.
If a woman knows what turns you on, and if she really loves you, she would want to make you horny!
In our case: she will at least flex and want to be muscle-worshipped, maybe she will even work out once she realizes that coming from the gym all pumped up results in much better sex.
As I have documented in my thread - she might even get huge.
The only problem I have now: I'm quite spoiled, because I lived the dream. I can't expect other women to be as enthusiastic about being muscle worshipped.

As for dating in general:
It's an old sentence, but: BE YOURSELF, and be the best of it!
You will probably meet someone in your league, probably with some of the same problems you are having, but if you just dare to be open, you can actually work together to be the coolest couple everyone is jealous about - even if you are both average. People you thought were "in a higher league" will look up to you, just because you dare to be authentic, and they don't.

Offline Bugenhagen

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I'd also like to say, Flexomatic... you my people. Good luck with your BSW, player

Thanks man! Your advice is also very helpful probably.

I have decided to come out everytime it's getting real - and even if sometimes it was a disappointment, sometimes it was the complete opposite, like my last relationship.
If a woman knows what turns you on, and if she really loves you, she would want to make you horny!
In our case: she will at least flex and want to be muscle-worshipped, maybe she will even work out once she realizes that coming from the gym all pumped up results in much better sex.
As I have documented in my thread - she might even get huge.
The only problem I have now: I'm quite spoiled, because I lived the dream. I can't expect other women to be as enthusiastic about being muscle worshipped.

As for dating in general:
It's an old sentence, but: BE YOURSELF, and be the best of it!
You will probably meet someone in your league, probably with some of the same problems you are having, but if you just dare to be open, you can actually work together to be the coolest couple everyone is jealous about - even if you are both average. People you thought were "in a higher league" will look up to you, just because you dare to be authentic, and they don't.


Yeah after living the dream, things can get pretty tough in the aftermath.

I'm very much trying to figure out how and why to incorporate my interests in an open and ethical way. Not just on the "I want my baby to lift heavy weights" kinda way, but also in the accepting and existing with my quirks rather than constantly trying to berate or destroy myself. This is typically for things like enjoying masturbation, thinking about other experiences with muscles during sex, being overbearing about my partialism and muscle obsession, or being almost entirely body focused.

I don't really see the point in worrying about what'll happen when I'm old. There are older muscular women and plenty of ways to enjoy ourselves outside of what we convince our lovers to do. Whether or not we build open enough relationships to having difficult conversations about sessions or polyamory, or even simple looking at other women to admire their muscular bodies. I'm reaching for those ways to feel at peace with the musclepreciation and move forward in love and acceptance with myself as well as my lovers and even writing songs where I talk about my attraction for like public consumption, and maybe doing stories soon.

Offline Dunerider304

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Hit the gym and get yourself jacked. Then get a "normal" girl into it. Think about the majority of interviews with FBBs you have heard. Most say that a former boyfriend or husband, that was also a bodybuilder, got them into it.

Offline Bugenhagen

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Hit the gym and get yourself jacked. Then get a "normal" girl into it. Think about the majority of interviews with FBBs you have heard. Most say that a former boyfriend or husband, that was also a bodybuilder, got them into it.

I think this was my original plan in my early 20s, and I think it's one of the best ones too. But it took me another decade plus to realize I'm really not into working out and never will be.

Which brought my psychology around much sharper focus. In the past, I'd like to say "I'm a fan of bodybuilding (to myself obviously)" but it's not true. I only care about working out and lifting weights and the like as far as it makes a woman grow and become more attractive to me. Beyond that, there's little to no interest at all. Shit is rather baffling.

Still... it's a good plan, a great one really. Get into the gym, find a girl you can train up and after a few years, even if it doesn't work out, you'd be in the scene yourself and likely know all sorts of buff women.

However, if you're stunningly NOT into bodybuilding or working out and not looking to get started on any major level you'll likely just have to get mad confident and make it a point to seek out and talk to muscular women wherever you find them. But man... get swole. Good plan

Offline uxello

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yeah... good point. I'm not quite like you. I do like working out. but being a bodybuilder is not who I am, or ever will be. I don't care to diet to the point of 10% BF or whatever, I don't care about isolating certain muscles in my workouts, I don't care about competitions or any of that.

So forget about getting jacked. Get into respectable shape, work on yourself, get a good job, build a good career, learn to talk to people. Being decent-looking and having a great job is better than working some shit job as a personal trainer or whatever, being jacked, and spending your whole life in the gym. May be hard to see that as 20-year-old.

Offline supergav67

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Whatever way the guy feels about himself there is no point dating or being with someone you don't wanna be with. I cant even recommend dating sites anymore Match.com & Love AOL used to be good, you,d find a Ruthie Luccessi or Heather Foster on a good day but the obvious now  is Fitness Singles where,ll you,ll probably get ads of  a shredded skinny whose  divorced with kids. Good luck  telling them youre a fbb shmoe admirer fan, No matter what lonely sob story their profile projects, all of a sudden their  lifes too full & you normies,ll never understand the lifestyle,NoT a Hobby,,  LiFeSTYLe, ITS A LIFESTYLE!!  At first you check  back every hour just in case but now, she advertised, you replied,, its up to her.

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